The receptionist had an emergency, and her back-up was off , so I was asked to take all the calls for the facility, and to do my own work as well. The calls were forwarded to my phone. I could not take a break unless I had someone to cover for me. I ate my tuna sandwich, went to the bathroom and was loaded for bear.
The first call came in.
“Hello. This is UPS. I need to talk to Wolf.”
“This is Wolf. Can I help you?”
“Uhm, yes. Hello. How are you today? My name is Obed Samriacireanere. You called about an order that was lost. Could you tell me what was in the order?”
The call took about 4 minutes. The UPS guy was not familiar with the English language and did not understand when I said. “A bunch of Insurance crap.”
When he finally hung up, another call came in.
“Hello. This is Sahib Granivialibeneirehn. I have 25 skids of material I need to deliver. And I have an appointment at 9am tomorrow. Can I come a little later? Like 4pm?”
When Sahib finally realized that he had better show up at 9 and not 4, the next call came in.
“Hello. Who is this? Did you say Wolf? I am trying to reach someone named Wolf. Could this be the Wolf I am trying to reach?”
“Well, partner, this is the only Wolf working here, so, yes, this is she.”
“You called about a UPS package that didn’t deliver…..”
“Wait. Is this Obed?”
“Yes, it is Obed. How did you know that?”
“Oh just a wild guess. Now what Obed?”
“Well, we found your package. What do you want us to do with it?”
“You don’t really want to know that, do you?”
“Excuse me , Miss Wolf. I have a small doubt. What do you mean?”
“Look Obed, just deliver the ^#$^^$^ package. Thank you very much.”
“Oh, OK. Ms Wolf. Thanking you very much, but please do the needful thing and tell me where?”
“Where to deliver?”
“Obed, Obed Obed. Deliver it to the address on the packing list.”
“But Ms Wolf. The packing list is missing. Where to deliver?”
“To 1774 Universal Ave. In Norfolk VA.”
“17 Seventy fore, University? In Northfork? And did you say VA? Is that the Veterans Administration?”
“Yes, Obed. And you know what? If you can’t find that address, just get rid of that order. Throw it out.”
“Oh no, Ms. Wolf. We will be sure to deliver.”
“Do me a favor, will you Obed? Don’t call me anymore. I don’t give a rat’s ass whether you deliver or not. OK?”
“Oh no, Ms Wolf. You are screwing my happiness. I will have to refer you to my supervisor, Bob Jones.”
“Yeah? Well go ahead. Thanks for all your help. Good bye.”
The next call came in.
“Hello, can you connect me with Ms. Wolf?”
“Who is calling please?”
“I am so sorry, Mr Jones, but Ms. Wolf has left for the day. As a matter of fact, she has left forever.”
“Oh no. We have a package to deliver. This is very important. Do you have a forwarding number? Or what to do?”
“Well, Mr Jones, this is my advice: Don’t call here anymore. Don’t call for Ms. Wolf. Do not, and I repeat, do not deliver that package. Just forget about it.”
“All right. I will try to call tomorrow. Will Ms Wolf be available then?”