Scariest Old Bag

Wolf received the 1st prize for having the most hideous costume. Mrs. Bates. She relished in her day of shenanigans and played her part to the hilt. Her mask was a stocking, which created the look of a bank robber. She could see through it and forgot she had it on, when she and Minnie went out for a bite to eat.

Minnie had dressed in a Minnie Mouse costume. Figures. Anyway, at the restaurant, she kept asking Wolf how these people knew her. They were all saying, “Hi, Minnie.”

The two of them walked over to a table and no one came by to wait on them. They were hungry and getting irritated. Finally, Wolf walked up to the cashier, and said, “Hey, look, am I invisible? What’s with you people? You would think I am here for a stick-up.”

The cashier was an elderly gal and when she heard the word “stick-up”, she raised her hands over her head and said, “Don’t hurt me. I am just a worker here. You can have the money.”

Suddenly, 6 employees emerged, with clubs and brooms and beat Wolf to the floor. She was horrified at this treatment, and started to fight back, with her rubber knife. Before long the police arrived and cuffed Wolf. She was taken to the nearby jail and booked.

Minnie called the Home and told her director what had happened, and the two of them went to the jail to see what the heck was going on. They were shocked to see Wolf in an orange jump suit, sitting by a desk, yakking up a storm.

“You nincompoops. You morons. I am not a robber. I am Wolf. I mean Mrs. Bates. I mean I am a senior citizen, in drag. How dare you detain me and make me wear orange. I look terrible in orange.”

When the police finally got the story straight, they told her director and Minnie to take her back to the home. And to never, never let her loose again with that mask and that rubber knife. They said she was the scariest looking old bag they had ever seen, even without the mask.

On the way home, Wolf decided on her costume for next Halloween: Hannibal Lector.