Having worked in customer service most of her life, Wolf was elected to make a speech at a meeting of call center supervisors. She did not know that this event was being televised across the globe. She entered the room, and said, “Oh excuse me. I must be in the wrong place. I mean all these cameras and electronic gizmos. So sorry.”

A young man of unknown ancestry spoke up: “No No. Please to come in. You are Ms Wolf, no?”

“Yes, but where are all the people? And what’s with the TV cameras?”

“Please to come in. You are most welcome. We wait for you. Our call centers have you tuned in.”

“Oh, well. All righty then. Hello everyone. I am Wolf and have been on the phone most of my life. I am here today to give you the scoop on excellent customer service. Let’s begin with the tone of your voice. You must sound like you are alive, enthusiastic and caring. This is very important.”

“Excuse, please. What does scoop mean?”

“Huh? Scoop? Who said anything about scoop?”

“You did Ms Wolf. May I call you Ms Wolf?”

“Well, that’s my name. So, surely. And don’t call me Shirley.”

“Oh no, Ms Wolf, we don’t know Shirley. We know no one with that name. Is she a friend of yours?”

“Not exactly. Anyway, getting back to tone. The customers have to believe you give a rat’s ass about them.”

“Pardon the interruption Ms Wolf. I have small doubt. Why you mention the hind quarters of a rodent?”

“What in the world are you talking about? Have you been listening to me? I am talking about tone of service. Being in the now. Listening. And caring.”

“Oh yes, Ms Wolf, I may call you Ms Wolf? We are listening but have some doubts about what you are saying. Can you help? Please?”

“With what? What don’t you get?”

“Get? Could you be more specific Ms Wolf?”

“Hey, you asked the question. I think we have a language barrier here. What time is it anyway?”

“It’s 2:30.”

“2:30? Dentist time. Get it? Tooth hurty.”

“Oh so sorry Ms Wolf. You must leave now? To see the dentist?”

“Yeah, that’s it. The dentist. And on the way back, I have an appointment with a bottle of wine. You see, I am a bar fly.”

“Not understand, Ms Wolf. Are you ill, Ms Wolf?”

“Yes, from all my years in customer service. I am a basket case. So let that be a lesson to all of you. If you stay in this career, you will end up like me. A walking disaster.”

“My my Ms Wolf. You have so many health issues. And you still came to instruct us. Thank you very much.”

“No problem. Have a nice day.”

Wolf

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