The meeting was scheduled for 11am. Wolf should have been there, but was on the phone, at work. At 11:20, she noticed that there were no others working. She strolled up to the front desk, and asked the receptionist, “Hey, where is everyone? Did this place close up or what?”
Jasmine, the receptionist said. “In a meeting. In the conference room.”
Wolf checked her calendar. Oh cripes, she was supposed to be there. She was late. She opened the door to the conference room and the entire group of her co-workers was there.
“Ooops. Sorry. I was on the phone.”
Her supervisor said, “Well, well, well. Hello Wolf. So happy to see you could make it.”
Wolf slinked down in her chair and tried to figure out what the hell this meeting was all about. The supervisor was quoting the US government’s latest fiasco. Something about lead. Yes, lead.
“Now, when you create these books and you decide on the ink to be used, you must be completely sure that there is no lead present in that ink. This is to safeguard our children under the age of 12.”
Being the ultimate cynic, Wolf spoke up: “Huh? What the hell? Are the kids licking the pages? Or are they eating books now?”
The room erupted in laughter.
Wolf continued on: “If you want to see what eating or licking lead can do to you, take a look at me. I ate lead when I was a kid, and look at the mess I am.”
The Supervisor ignored the raucous laughter, and continued: “These are the requirements, blah blah blah blah blah.”
Wolf raised her hand and said: “Can I ask a question?”
“Now what Wolf?”
“For those of you who have kids, did any of them ever get sick from licking ink? I mean what the hell? Did they miss school for this ridiculous reason?”
The meeting continued, but the Supervisor was unable to gain control. The group realized what a goofy thing Congress had placed into law.
When the meeting ended, Wolf had the final word: “No wonder our government is broke. Spending money on kids licking ink. What’ s next? Kids licking the glue off of stamps?”
The Supervisor was at her wit’s end. “Yes, as a matter of fact, we must be sure that any glue that we use in bindery meets federal requirements.”
Wolf volunteered to sniff the glue to make sure it was safe.
The meeting adjourned.