The residents of the Autumn Years Rest Home were in a panic. Over 4 inches of rain fell, and the winds were topping at 60 miles per hour. The roof could not stand the onslaught, and water dripped into the dining room from the ceiling.
“Hey look! We have a leak.”
“Get some bowls you goof. Let’s see if we can contain the water.”
Drip drip drip. It was maddening.
“Minnie, I can’t stand that dripping. What should we do?”
“Geez Wolf, how would I know? I am just a dummy. What do you think?”
“Well, let’s get a ladder and get up on that roof and see what’s going on.”
Wolf and Minnie climbed the ladder to the roof and walked around looking for damage. They were soaking wet and grumbling. The wind picked up and you guessed it, the ladder fell to the ground.
“Now look at what you did you idiot. You were supposed to hold that ladder. Here we are stuck up here, on the roof, with pouring rain and no way out of here. What the hell, Minnie?”
“Don’t talk to me like that you moron. It was not my idea to come up here. Why did I let you talk me into this?”
“Give it up Minnie. We have bigger fish to fry. What in the world are we gonna do? No one knows we are up here. And we have to get down. I am soaking wet……and miserable.”
“Well, look at the hole in this roof. I can see the dining room, and everyone is eating. Let’s try to get their attention.”
The girls yelled, screamed, and kicked, but no one seemed to notice.
“I know. Let’s make this hole bigger. And then we can hang down from the roof. You hold me. I will get someone to get our butts out of this mess.”
Wolf yanked out a few more shingles, and now the rain poured into the dining room. Minnie held Wolf by her feet as she dangled into the dining room ceiling.
Pat remarked, “Gee, the dripping has turned into a down pour. What the hell is happening?”
Wolf let out a shriek, “HELP! HELP! Get someone to help us.”
The residents looked up to the ceiling. Wolf was hanging head down, soaking wet. It was a frightful sight.
Minnie was overheard: “I can’t hold on much longer. I am losing my grip. Oh God. Hold on Wolf. You are going down.”
The residents gathered around the dangling Wolf and prepared for her to fall. They had made a human net. And Wolf fell into their arms.
Minnie said, “What about me? Get me out of here.”
“Jump. Just jump. We will catch you.”
Minnie doubted their ability to catch her. She said, “Just get the ladder. I am not jumping.”
The Director, Miss Ratcher walked into the dining room and screamed, “No. Do not jump. We will get the ladder and rescue you.”
Once again, the fire department showed up at the Rest Home, to rescue the drenched Minnie, and to tack up a tarp so the dripping would stop until the roof could be repaired. They took one look at Wolf and said, “Oh no, not you again. Look lady, you better cool it. You are a menace to society.”
Wolf shivered as a towel was thrown around her and said, “I beg your pardon. I am not responsible for the rain. If you recall a very good song, titled, ‘I’m no stranger to the rain’, you should be ashamed of yourselves. After all, the singer drank himself to death over the rain. That was a tragic ending. So, excuse me, but I need a ride to the sports bar. Can I hitch a ride on the fire truck?”