“Can I ask you a personal question, Minnie?”
“Yeah, sure. You will, no matter what I say Wolf.”
“Do you need those, uh, you know, those Depends?”
“Huh? What? Depends? You mean those things that old people need?”
“Yes. I mean those old people things. Depends. Do you ever think you might need them?”
“No. I have a different problem. I am, well, you know, constipated. I wish I did need those Depends.”
“Shoot. I need to talk to someone who needs them. Do you know anyone who buys them? And if they work?”
“Look, you goof. I don’t ask those kind of questions. Who wants to admit they have that kind of problem? And are you saying you do? I mean, what the hell, Wolf? Are you having bouts of…of… you know, incontinence?”
“I am not admitting to anything. I just asked the question.”
“I know you Wolf. You wouldn’t ask if you didn’t have a problem. So, tell me, what’s going on?”
“Forget it, Minnie. I am just curious.”
Wolf made the rounds and asked the same question. No one admitted to using Depends.
“Where you going Wolf? Are you on your way to the drug store?”
“Depends. I mean, it all depends.”
The residents followed Wolf to the drug store. No Depends. Out of stock.
Wolf approached the Pharmacist and asked if there were any Depends in stock. The Pharmacist recognized many of the residents and said, “Oh I am so sorry. Your friends completely wiped us out. Maybe you can borrow a couple from them, until we get them back in inventory.”
“Oh? Like who bought them?”
“Are you kidding? All of these people bought them. Just ask any one of them. We should have them back on the shelf on Tuesday.”
With a furrowed brow, Wolf scanned the group. “You mean all of these people bought Depends? Well I am a monkey’s uncle.”
The group disbursed. They walked back to the Home, admitting nothing.
“Hoarders. All of them. And they know nothing about Depends? Right. Can you recommend a substitute? Until you get them back in stock?”
Wolf walked out of the Drug Store with a pack of diapers. The largest size they had. She put them on and walked into the dining room for dinner. Her slacks had a large bulge. Minnie asked her what the heck was in her pants? A baloney?
“Yes Minnie. We are playing a game. Find the baloney. And I have a surprise to anyone who finds it.”
No one wanted to find Wolf’s baloney. no matter what the surprise was. On Tuesday, Wolf bought 42 packages of Depends and wiped the Drug Store out of stock.
For the next 2 weeks, the number of bulging pants increased significantly.