Thursday evening, Autumn Years Rest Home:

“Oh boy, it’s movie night. What are we watching?”

“Settle down, Pat. We haven’t voted yet. Let me see…..we have a choice of three great movies. This is comedy week, as you know. The 3 top choices are My Cousin Vinny, Best in Show and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.”

“Time to vote. Write down your choice and I will pass the hat.”

The group took its time. This was a tough decision. But in the end, Best in Show won.

The movie started….

Gloria: “Geez, we really need some popcorn. I can’t watch a movie without popcorn.”

Frank: “Shhhhh. I can’t hear the show. Quiet down. If you want popcorn, go make it.”

George: “Yeah, and hurry up. We all want popcorn.”

Gloria: “You mean I have to make enough for all of us? That isn’t fair. I will miss the show.”

Gordon: “What the hell kind of movie is this? It isn’t a movie, it’s a documentary. I was a dog trainer, back in my day. And I can tell the difference between a movie and a documentary.”

Minnie: “Hush up. We are trying to watch the show.”

George: “Where’s that popcorn? Geez, what’s taking so long?”

Frank: “Can you all please be quiet. I have not heard a word of this movie.”

Gordon: “I told you, it isn’t a movie. Look at these people. They all own show dogs. These are real life people.”

Wolf: “You idiot. This is a movie. It is a wild take on dog shows. So zip it Gordon. If you pay attention, you might get it.”

Gordon: “Why of all the nerve. Did you ever show dogs, Wolf? I doubt it. You are such a dog, that the judge wouldn’t know what he was judging: You or the dog that was walking you.”

Wolf: “I refuse to argue with an imbecile. Can you please shut the hell up so we can watch the show?”

Minnie: “I can’t believe this. The movie has been on for 30 minutes, and no one has been able to focus on the show. Now knock it off everyone. This is supposed to be a great movie.”

Gloria: “Hey, everyone. Here’s the popcorn. What did I miss?”

George: “Who the hell knows? Hey, where’s the soda? We can’t eat popcorn without soda.”

Frank: “Yeah. And bring some napkins, will you?”

Pat: “I wanted butter on my popcorn. This is too dry. And where’s the salt?”

Gloria: “No way. I made the popcorn. You can get your own soda. Move over Gordon. You are hogging the couch.”

Gordon: “Oh no you don’t. I am comfortable here. Grab a chair from the dining room. I need my space.”

Wolf: “Would you all please stop talking? We are trying to watch this movie.”

Minnie: “I am so confused. What movie is this anyway?”

Gordon: “It’s not a movie. It’s a documentary. And a damn good one, in my opinion. Look at those dogs. Magnificent.”

Jimmy: “A documentary? I thought we were going to watch a movie. Someone, turn this off and pop in the movie.”

Wolf: “This is the movie, you idiot. It is Best in Show.”

Frank: “Hey, Minnie, the next time you are up, can you get us some ice cream?”

Minnie: “I have no intention of getting up. I am trying to follow this movie. But for some reason, I have no clue what is happening.”

At this point, in the movie, Cookie sprained her ankle, and could not show her dog.

Gordon: “Look at that guy, will you? He has 2 left feet.”

Gloria: “That’s not funny, Gordon. The poor guy has a problem. Why point it out?”

Frank: “You are wrong, Gloria. It is supposed to be funny.”

Pat: “Get us some ice cream, Frank. And quit making fun of disabled people.”

The movie ended when the group finished their ice cream.

Gordon: “Got to admit, that was one of the best documentaries I have ever seen.”

Jimmy: “So when do we get to watch the movie?”



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