“Good Golly Miss Molly! Where have you been Wolf?”

 “Huh? I told you, I was on leave.”

 “Leave? From what?”

 “From life, of course. I took a hiatus.”

“Why didn’t you call? Or let us know you were ok. We were worried sick.”

 “I guess you all have dementia. I told you I was taking a break from life. So why would I call? I had to find myself.”

“Did you?”

“What? Did I what?”

 “Find yourself.”

“Oh that. Yup. I have been found.”

 “And what did you find, may I ask?”

 “Well, it is a long story. But for now, I am back.”

 “Come on. Tell us. Where the hell have you been?”

 “I got a makeover. I got a tattoo. I made a pact with the devil. I ate oysters in New Orleans. I rode with the Hell’s Angels. I auditioned for Survivor and went to the South Pacific. I sky dived with George Bush. I visited Charlie Manson in prison. I lived in a box in Seattle. I pretended I was blind, got a dog and a cup and opened up shop in Baltimore. I passed the bar. I got arrested for selling root beer without a license. I stole Angelina’s identity and slept with Brad. And went to the gay bars with Shep.”

 “Shep? Shep who?”

 “Shep Smith. The news guy from Fox.”

“You are full of it. Where have you really been?”

 “None of your beeswax. It is not for publication.”

“Uh huh. You admitted yourself to the mental ward again, right?”

 “Like I said, it is none of your business.”

 “Hey Wolf. Phone call. Says it is urgent. From some gal named Sybil.”

“Tell her Wolf is indisposed. She ran away with Hannah Montana.”

 “She says that is impossible. She is Hannah Montana……well, at least some of the time. And Hannah is still at the nut house.”

 “Ask her if I can speak to Sarah Palin.”

 “She said Sarah is in Seattle, living in a box with the Hell’s angels, eating oysters.”

 “Well, well, well. Tell that nut ball Sybil that Wolf is in transit, waiting for a bus to Seattle. And that she is considering a sex change.”

 “Sybil says she can’t wait any longer. Hannah is scheduled to go on stage.”

“Thank goodness. I am exhausted.”

“Just one question. Did you really get a tattoo?”

 “Yes. I did. Want to see it?”


Wolf pulled her jeans and panties off. On her heiney, there were 3 initials: WMD

“What the hell?”

 “Eat your heart out girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrls. I have been found. Obama now has his weapon of mass destruction.”



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