How are you today?
Good? How nice.
Are you having a nice weekend?
Did you get anything accomplished?
What? What did you say? How rude!
When are you going to get rid of that awful nightie? Didn’t you buy that at the thrift store about 15 years ago?
Well, excuse me, but you must like it. You have been wearing it all day. You could have at least put on a robe when your neighbor stopped by.
So you made a salad today, eh? Big deal. What did that take? 10 minutes?
And what’s with Candy Crush? You game addict.
You screwed up again, by the way. You put a load of clothes in the washer and you are as blind as bat. I don’t hear them washing. You must have them on a 12 hour soak.
Do you realize that the cats are hungry? Oh? You fed them. When? Oh, after they puked on your new bed spread? You better add that to your soaking.
How come you aren’t drinking a beer?
Ah! You put them in the freezer and forgot. Frozen solid. Are you really going to drink them, after they froze their hops off?
Are you ready for Monday?
Don’t get sarcastic with me, you idiot.
By the way, you forgot to take your meds again.
What? I can tell. You get all squirrely when you don’t take your daily dose of mood altering drugs.
No, wine doesn’t count.
You’re afraid to go into work tomorrow? Now what?
You told the new HR manager that you have been waiting for him to show up so you could report Pat? And now Pat wont talk to you? And she refuses to go to 5 guys to get you French fries? Can you blame her?
What do you mean you are tired?
You got up at 330am? Why? Are you crazy or what?
Skip that question. I know the answer.