“I see you are finally back from your doctor appointment.  What took so long?”


“Let’s just say that I prefer my old doc.  I was in and out of his office in 20 minutes flat.”


“So why so long?”


“Well, first of all, I had to fill out papers.  Then I waited, for an hour when the computer network went down.  And some lovely old bags were in the waiting room with their stories.  I got some pretty nice recipes for turkey loaf, and heard all about how no one was going to agree to a colonoscopy.  One elderly lady was told she had a STD and she scheduled an appointment to find out how in the hell that happened.”


“How did you like your new doctor?”


“I did.  I can eat all I want and she better not say a word.  She is one chubby lady.  But before I got to see her, a nurse came in, and asked me all kinds of questions.  That same question came up:  Do you ever have feelings of hopelessness and want to hurt yourself?”


“Don’t tell me you said yes.”


“I did.  And she raised her eyebrows, was ready to call in the white coats, and send me to the pysch ward. At least if I had gone there, I would have been home hours ago.

“Did you get a flu shot?”


“No, but I got a tetanus shot. Thank goodness.  I didn’t want to tell her, but I have been rabid for years.”


“Oh for crazy.”


“She gave me a new med, to calm my ruffled feathers, and told me to come back in 2 weeks.  Now I have to go back some time soon, for a blood test.  Geez, when they see the results, I am toast. I have 10% blood and 90% wine.  She had the audacity to ask me about my wine drinking and  she said: “No more than one glass a night.”


“Did you admit you have a problem?”


“No, I told her life is all about living, loving and laughing.  And I occasionally have a penchant for the grapes of wrath.”


“Are you satisfied with this new doctor?”


“Let’s just say that the experience for this old goat was quite stressful.  I had to stop at 3 in the afternoon for some fortification to calm my jangled nerves.”


“So, all in all, you liked the new clinic?’


“I love it, Minnie.  I hope every appointment is filled with adventure and stress.”


“What the hell?”


“Then I can self medicate on the way home.”




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