“Hey, Wolf, do people ever tell you stuff you really don’t want to know about?”
“Hell, yes. All the time. Looking back on the past week….
1. I passed my pee test.
2. I have a boil on my stomach.
3. Hey, what’s with the ice cream in the food pantry? Are we having a party? Am I invited? Do you have any hot fudge? I am so hungry for ice cream. Did I mention that I am lactose intolerant? And ice cream really does a number on my gastrointestinal system?
4. I need to find a new job. This one is killing me. I haven’t been to work in 4 months. My doctor is a quack. He says I have to go back.
5. I have no money. I might have to find a pimp.
6. I have to confess: I went on a cleaning frenzy, wiped the TV, and the damn screen broke. After the roof, the air conditioning and the crumbling side walk, I can never retire.
7. It’s so embarrassing. I pooped myself.
8. You should see what my cat does when she is in heat.
9. My leg is blown up. Want to see it?
10. Hey you. Yeah, you. Got a minute? I need to vent. Can we do that when you give me a ride home? By the way, what’s your name?
“And how do you respond, Wolf?”
“Respond? It’s more like endure. And then at 5pm, I head for the nearest watering hole.”
“You must encourage people to spill the beans.”
“I’ve been thinking about that Minnie. And I think I know the answer.”
“I thrive on spilled beans.”