“Hey, did you walk home or what?”

“Shut up, Minnie.  It’s a long story.”

“Where’s your car?”

“I was tooling along, about 4 miles from home, and I heard a “poof” sound.  The car stopped, right on old route 22, as I was half way up the hill.”

Stopped?  Did you run out of gas?”

“No, you idiot.  I think a squirrel got into the engine and ate it.”

“Is the squirrel ok?”

“I think I saw him running down the road, and he had a fuel pump hanging out of his mouth.”

“Oh for crazy!”

“Yeah, I called the auto club.  Got someone in a foreign country.  “Oh I am so sorry for your troubles.  I hope the rest of your night is much better.”

“Huh?”

“Before she hung up, I managed to get a tow truck phone number from her and gave them a call.  When they answered, they wanted to know where I was.  I told them:  I was in my car.  On old route 22, in the middle of the road, stuck on a hill.  Since I could not provide any other pertinent information, they said they would cruise old 22 and eventually find me.”

“So you sat in your car, on a hill?  For how long?”

“Long enough to call the dealership, which had closed.  And to talk to 3 strangers who offered their help.  I told them I was just fine.  But thanks, anyway.  I noticed one of the strangers was a marine.  Pretty cute, too.”

“Did you wait long?”

“A lifetime.  Then Butch showed up in his tow truck.  And asked me what was wrong.  I told him the fuel pump.  He looked skeptical and said, ‘and just how do you know that’?  I told him I was an auto mechanic and knew all that kind of crap.  Anyway, he hooked up the car and dinked around and I said, ‘Hey, do I have to stay in the car or what?’  And he said, ‘No, you can ride on the roof.’  Aha!  A funny guy.  So we laughed and carried on and he said he would drive me home, take the car to the dealership and unless the car fell off the truck, that would be it.”

“What the hell?”

“Yeah. He said, ‘So where do you live?’  And I told him I really was on my way to the pub, so he could drop me off there.”

“You have to be kidding.”

“That’s what he thought, too. But, as you know, I wasn’t kidding.  Anyway, he drove me home and said he would deliver the car to the dealership for me.  I whipped out plastic, to pay him and he said, ‘Oh we don’t take cards.'”

“Where the hell did you find this towing service?”

“Luckily, I found cash in my stash and paid Butch, after he told me his life story. And as he drove out of sight, much to my delight, I heard him exclaim:  “Hey on the way back I will be passing that bar.  And guess what? I will have one for you!”

 

Wolf

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