“How did the shopping go today?”

“It was an experience, let’s just say that.”

“Come on.  Tell me.  How did you and Ed get along?”

“Well, you know, Ed can’t hear worth a damn, and he stutters all the time, so I was hollering my ass off, directing him to the 8 different places I wanted to go.”

“8?  What the hell?”

“Yeah.  Seems that Ed had no gas.  So we stopped at the gas station and I filled up his car.  Then we went to the car dealership, so I could drop off my insurance card, that I finally found.  After that, to the grocery store.”

“Was it crowded?”

“Jammed. But I hurried through the store, so old Ed wouldn’t have to wait too long. When I came out, Ed’s car was there, but no Ed.  So, I loaded up his back seat with the groceries and sat in the car, watching a guy walk his dog.  And I waited and waited.  No Ed.  I considered calling 911, to report a kidnapping, but realized that no one would kidnap Ed.  It was getting mighty hot in the car, and I knew Ed could not have gone too far, since he had no money, and can’t walk worth #%@%%.”

“What the hell?”

“A half hour later, I turned on my cell phone and tried to call him.  But he wasn’t home.”

“How could he be home? You were in his car.”

“Yeah.  No answer.  A couple walked by and said, ‘Hey, your gas cap is open.  Want me to close it?’  Shoot.  I had forgotten to shut his gas cap. Oh well, he would never know.  I waited somewhat patiently, for Ed to show up.  I considered driving his car to the next 4 places, but Ed must have taken his keys with him, where ever he went.”

“What happened to him?”

“Another half hour passed, and here comes Ed.  He was in the grocery store, riding around on one of those motorized carts, looking for me.  He said, ‘Where the hell have you been?’  I repeated his question and said, ‘right here!  Where were you?'”

“Oh for crazy.”

Anyway, 2 dollar stores, a restaurant, the wine store and the beer store, and we were on the way home, still laughing about his alleged kidnapping.”

“Dollar stores? You never go to the dollar stores.”

“Ed wanted to go.  He needed cough drops, but had no money.”

“What a riot.  Did he get them?”

“Of course.  And since I had given him a few extra bucks, he had to stop at the other dollar store, to look for bargains.”

“I see you got more wine and beer.”

“Of course.  Actually, I got a few extra bottles today, so I could sit around, have a few blasts, and toast to the shopping trip with Ed.”

“So how was your day?”

“It was a blast.  Just think, if my car hadn’t broke down, I would have missed the opportunity to get chauffeured around by Ed. However, I do have a sore throat.”

“You getting sick?”

“Hell no.  It’s from all that hollering.”





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