Thoughts on the holidays:

Never go to the liquor store on New Year’s Eve.

Christmas lights look tacky after December 26th.

I am still carrying around gift cards from 2 years ago.

I can’t believe people continue to buy chia pets.

If you need to travel during the holidays, it will be stormy.

Why would anyone have turkey for Christmas dinner?  How soon we forget we ate turkey for 2 weeks after Thanksgiving.

If you bake cookies,  as gifts, you will eat cookies.  You will eat a lot of them.

Bags have replaced wrapping paper.

Receiving a Christmas card in the mail is a rarity.

Dressing up?  Maybe?  Dressing up your dog or cat?  An absolute must.

If you still have your mother, expect socks and underwear.  If not, buy your own, or keep wearing your old ones.

Would you wait 12 hours in freezing temperatures to watch a ball drop?

Your resolution:  to lose weight?  Expect severe withdrawal symptoms, following 3 weeks of binging.  No wonder so many fail in their attempts.  The new year couldn’t come at a worse time.

Your trash pickup is sure to exceed the limitations.

You will find pine needles in August on your floor, if you put up a fresh tree.

Isn’t New Year’s Eve, the night to party?  Try to find a bar open.   None, in my neighborhood.

The same Christmas movies play round the clock during Christmas week.  For New Year’s it is the Walking Dead and Twilight Zone marathons.  How exciting.

Being a little kid and having to sit with Santa must be frightening.  Would you sit on the lap of a fat man, wearing a red suit and calling you a ho?

The holidays are over once again.  Never fear.  I noticed the valentines are out in the stores already.

 

Wolf

 

 

 

 

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