Hello Presidents.

It’s your day.

You sure picked a humdinger of a day to celebrate yourselves.

Abe?  Was it this cold in your cabin in Illinois?

No wonder you got the heck out.

George?  Did you really cross the Delaware in a boat?

Was there really someone on the other side, holding a lantern?

Were you wearing your wig?

In your honor, I wore my leggings, a pair of socks, 2 sweaters, a scarf, a bear coat and hat, gloves and dead man’s boots.

My brother in law works at a retirement home and gave me the boots, when one of the old gents expired.

I clunked around in them this morning, but I must take a time out to thank the dead old guy.

Those boots are an atrocity, but quite warm.

Some people donate their organs.

The dead guy donated his boots to a freezing cougar.

In your honor, George, I bought a battery operated lantern at Rite Aid.

It was one of those special products.

“As shown on TV.”

And for you, Abe, I almost bought a Lincoln.

But I settled for a Ford.

And tripped.

I called the Betty Ford Foundation.

“Will you commit a hopeless cougar wearing a polar bear hat and dead man’s boots?”

They told me to just say no.

I am not a crook.

I did not have sex with that woman.

The buck stops here.

I do not have Obama care.

And yes, I am a weapon of mass destruction.

There she goes again.  (dancing neath the starry skies)

I gave up and called the Donald.

He was in Camelot, with Miss Universe.

Hey Abe and George:  What the hell happened to our country?

They said, “Ask not what you can do for a cougar, ask what a cougar can do for you.”

Yes!  Hey Congress:  Let’s make a new national holiday!  Next year, let’s skip a February President’s day holiday and celebrate in April, when we don’t have to wear dead man’s boots and polar bear hats.

National Cougar day!    April 20th.

It is 420 somewhere.







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