Silly as a Wolf

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

What kind of day did you have?

Want to hear my thoughts?

I didn’t think so.

Regardless,  It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

Goodbye, Leslie.  RIP.

Come on Shannon. We want to honor you at a  party.  Can you reconsider?

Are you still here, winter?  Go away.  I am done with you.

And winter said, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”

Another day at work.

Not like any other.

The good, the bad and the ugly.

Stayed very focused, until I got silly.

You ain’t nothing but a snow squall.

How much is that snow squall in the window?

Is it possible to live for over 30 years and not know what a snow squall is?

My dear Erica, what the hell?

It is a widely known fact, that some people don’t wash their hands after using the rest room.

Bad boys. Bad boys.  What you gonna do when Erica comes for you?

Tony, Tony, Tony.  Engaged?  I am devastated.  If only you were 40 years older.

Good golly Miss MCat.   Get the fork out.

I saw “shut up Pat’ smiling today….knowingly.

The Candy Princess has a bad ear.  Poor thing.  It just might be a matter of logistics…… sitting next to “Shut up Pat.”

Our Beaver lost her inhaler.  She is smoke free.  Well, until tomorrow, at 1230pm, anyway.  Let’s get a slice of pizza from the weed wagon.  Just don’t inhale.

The good Pat is on a mission to save her bees.  Hey Pat?  Are you taking them to Arizona with you?

Ran into my neighbors at the local pub.

They never did like me.

I had a few blasts and now they like me even less.


Eat your heart out neighbors.  I am not moving, anytime soon.

Home now.

It is wine o’clock.

Silly as a goose.

Are geese really silly?

Who cares?

I am.

Until tomorrow…….




Fat Tuesday

There was a sunny ray of hope this Tuesday, following a nasty commute this morning.

The temps warmed up to 20 degrees in the afternoon, and the winds died down.

I had an irresistible urge for carbs and, being fat Tuesday, I ate my share.

If you are from Pennsylvania, you know what a fastnacht is.  Thanks, Susie, for a delicious homemade treat.

A near miss, or disaster, with a customer, rebounded into a success.  Yes!  They loved the results of those envelopes with the inserts so much, they are ordering more.  Hey, Lisa!  Your team can take the credit.  Now you get to do it all over again!

Icy weather in N.C.  Thank goodness, our little Jasmine, on her way to Florida, is safe and sound.

Congrats Bill and Jaimie!   An 8 lb beautiful baby boy, born today.  Such a lovely family!  Welcome to the world, Kingston Patrick!

Granny will be well taken care of, in rehab for 2 weeks.   No bingo, no work for our Granny for awhile, and although she wants to go home, we are all thankful that she will have round the clock care for this feisty 92 year old.  Gotta love her spirit!

Ran into a friend tonight.  She has a job interview tomorrow, in Tampa, Fl. Good luck, Carol.  You deserve it. And I won’t forget your invitation to visit you next winter.

Got a wild hair and teased the W#5%@#5@% out of Shut Up Pat today.  Did she knowingly act like a goof, just to hear me say it?  Shut up Pat!

I thought the inability to decide on what kind of pizza to order only happened in the back room.  Not so.  I wonder if Candis might be the root cause of the pizza issue.

Found out that the Beav is monitoring the bathroom habits of certain individuals.  What an amazingly observant person the Beav is.  Toot! Toot!

Tuesday, February 17, 2015.  A day we will never experience again.

It was a very good day, indeed.







Dead man’s boots

Hello Presidents.

It’s your day.

You sure picked a humdinger of a day to celebrate yourselves.

Abe?  Was it this cold in your cabin in Illinois?

No wonder you got the heck out.

George?  Did you really cross the Delaware in a boat?

Was there really someone on the other side, holding a lantern?

Were you wearing your wig?

In your honor, I wore my leggings, a pair of socks, 2 sweaters, a scarf, a bear coat and hat, gloves and dead man’s boots.

My brother in law works at a retirement home and gave me the boots, when one of the old gents expired.

I clunked around in them this morning, but I must take a time out to thank the dead old guy.

Those boots are an atrocity, but quite warm.

Some people donate their organs.

The dead guy donated his boots to a freezing cougar.

In your honor, George, I bought a battery operated lantern at Rite Aid.

It was one of those special products.

“As shown on TV.”

And for you, Abe, I almost bought a Lincoln.

But I settled for a Ford.

And tripped.

I called the Betty Ford Foundation.

“Will you commit a hopeless cougar wearing a polar bear hat and dead man’s boots?”

They told me to just say no.

I am not a crook.

I did not have sex with that woman.

The buck stops here.

I do not have Obama care.

And yes, I am a weapon of mass destruction.

There she goes again.  (dancing neath the starry skies)

I gave up and called the Donald.

He was in Camelot, with Miss Universe.

Hey Abe and George:  What the hell happened to our country?

They said, “Ask not what you can do for a cougar, ask what a cougar can do for you.”

Yes!  Hey Congress:  Let’s make a new national holiday!  Next year, let’s skip a February President’s day holiday and celebrate in April, when we don’t have to wear dead man’s boots and polar bear hats.

National Cougar day!    April 20th.

It is 420 somewhere.







Who’s gonna drive the bus?

I recall a bus driver telling me, years ago, that the worst weather of the winter is over President’s day.

He took his vacation, every year, during that week.

Wisdom from someone who knows.

He should have been a meteorologist.

Growing up in Northern Minnesota did not prepare me for the ridiculously brutal weather we experienced this weekend.

This old house creaked and groaned, battered by the winds.

The furnace could not keep up with 20 below wind chills.

I sat in the living room this morning, wearing flannel pajamas, socks, a robe and a fur coat.  Yes, a fur coat.  And I was still cold.

I am thankful that the power stayed on, and the winds have subsided to 30 mph.

A very stressful weekend, indeed.

Hey, Mr Bus Driver:  I hope you have a great vacation in Tahiti.





Why not have another?

I always reward myself with a double after shopping on a Saturday.

I was a little early today.


Why did the bartender have to pour me a triple?

Silly as a rabbit.

Talking to everyone, yap yap yap.

She said:  “Hey, you’re not leaving already, are you?  Why not have another?”

Ok, why not?

It was at that moment that my polar bear hat tassels fell into my face.

Not again!

Yikes!  Little Miss Muffet sat on a bar stool, drinking her oj and vodka.  Along came a spider and scared the #%2%@%5@ out of her.  Poor Miss Muffet, she is so easily fooled.

Can I have a meatball sub to go?

I am hungry as a spider monkey.

Did I say spider?

The lunch crowd stormed in, for pizza.

Yap, yap, yap.

Happy Valentine’s day, everyone.  What’s your name?  Who’s your daddy?

It’s snowing.

I see it out the window.

I have to ask everyone, as they come in:  “Is it snowing?”

The crowd grows weary of my insanity.

They eat their pizza.

Where is my meat ball sub?  Oh yeah, in the bag.

So am I.

Well, half, anyway.

Home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Carry the groceries upstairs.

My meat balls?  Cold.

I love cold balls.

And they were big ones.

I love big ones.

I think I will go shopping early again next Saturday.

Or better yet, I will skip the shopping and just have a triple.





On a bitterly cold day….

What is it that warms us on a bitterly cold day?

Coats? Mittens?  Layers of clothing?  A hooded fur coat?  An electric blanket?

Steaming hot coffee?  Cocoa?  A bowl of chili?

A roaring fire place?

Creature comforts?  We are, after all, creatures.

When the temperatures drop below zero, who doesn’t want to stay in bed, and cover up with quilts and comforters and cats?

We hear the alarm, life is calling.  Reluctantly, we face the cold.

The car started.  Good.

I made it to work.  Good.

I am wearing 2 sweaters, a blazer, my bear coat, a scarf, gloves and a polar bear hat.  Good.

I am not really warm.  I am not really cold.  And then…..

Valentines from  unexpected sources.  A lovely box of chocolates,  a tote bag and a little animated devil.  A homemade candy rose.  A crazy valentine card.

I feel warm.

I start peeling my layers.

Would you like breakfast?  We are ordering.  Oh yes!

Would you like some nasty hot kale chips?  Of course!

I get involved in my work.

I forget about the cold.

I check on my coworkers.  You ok?  Do you need anything?  Are you warm enough?  Do you want to wear my fingerless gloves?  How about some candy?

I go outside for a break.  It is 19 degrees.

I feel warm, yet invigorated.

Is it because I am bundled up?


But I think the warmth is coming from another source.

On the coldest day of the winter of 2015, I found the secret to feeling warm.

And it has nothing to do with the cold weather.




What is your behavior when you are stressed?

Questions on a Thursday, in the back room, at the office:

Is grumbling contagious?

Do you think there might be a full moon rising?

When you finally realize it is your last day on the job,  and you will be moving on, are all your emotions positive?

Are problems an annoyance?  Do you think you would have your job if there were no problems?

When you are tired of an issue, do you change your strategy?  Or is it easier to escalate and be done with it?

Who is the new person?  Did you even bother to introduce yourself?

When you encountered a stressful situation, did you realize that your behavior in stress, reflects your true character?

Did you take the time to express appreciation for others?

When you assess your day, do you dwell on the negatives or the positives?

Did you look outside of yourself and your world, to recognize and acknowledge those that need help?

When mistakes are made, and there are customer complaints, do you blame others?  Or do you realize that a customer doesn’t care who made the mistake. We are all responsible.

What did you do today to bond with your co workers in the other departments?

Did you take time to laugh at yourself?  When you can’t laugh, you are probably taking yourself too seriously.

What did you learn today?  No one knows everything.

Can you honestly say you enjoy your job?

It is, after all, what you make it.





Savoring the moments

Stuff I enjoyed today:

Crispy, hot kale chips are very tasty.

Yes, Pat, I think I just might like them more than potato chips.

Got caught up on my billing.

I love it when the dollars start rolling in.  It makes all the efforts worthwhile.

Spent some time with Jasmine.

I savor those moments, and will remember them, when she is on her way to her new life.

Reached out to the hub customer service reps with problems.

All of them solved.

Had a wonderful time at pot luck today.

So what if I went off my diet?  It was worth it.

Ran into Karen, the blonde curly headed cutie pie.

Got hugs and kisses.  She has to be the most positive, loving creature on earth.

Noticed a need for attention.

Sneaked donuts out to Material Handling and Bindery.

A beautiful winter day.

Sunny, blue skies and no wind.  And I didn’t have to wear one of my goofy hats.

A “touchy” situation.

Resolved with laughter.

Found my script for a blood test.

Woohoo!  No need to fast for a vitamin D test.  Yes! Coffee!

Jess came in to visit, with time to spare while Granny was in surgery.

We all love that girl.

A busy day.   4 more orders came in at 445.  It would be so easy to leave them for tomorrow.

I didn’t.

Someone asked me why I was still working?

If they had a day like I did today, would anyone wonder why?










Yeah, so she is moving on.

And up.

And away.

Just like a balloon.

She was here, for awhile, and captured our hearts.

Way too smart.

So witty.

And cute?  More like exotic.

When we needed help, we always felt we could go to her.

Was there anything she didn’t know?

Always positive, cheerful and there for us.

Give her a challenge and she was the first to go for it.

A loyal friend, a helping hand, and a hell of a good listener.

She never judged.

Never complained.

The decorator of our hearts and our office.  Wow!  Could anyone else climb to those heights?

She could eat, unless it was anything green, and always looked like she never thought about food.

Such a natural beauty, with brains.

One of a kind.

It won’t be the same, when she is gone.

Have I told you lately, Jas?  I love you.

We all do.

Best wishes, my little goofy, beautiful friend.

You will be missed.



Is it over yet?

Scaredy cat.

That’s me.

Ice and old bags are not compatible.

Ping, ping, ping.

Freezing rain against the windows.

Not one vehicle on my road today.

Isolated in hibernation.

Is it over yet?

Peeked outside.

Snow is falling.

Look at the size of those flakes!

Flakes?  Or are the angels having a snowball fight?

Cat went out.  He was red and white when he left.

Cat came in.  Who is this white cat?

Hey, Jack Frost?  Are you related to Robert Frost?  Whose woods these are, I think I know…… He will not see my stopping here to watch his woods fill up with snow.

There is beauty in each season. Or so they say.

Winter has its nostalgic moments:  Light snow on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve,  sleigh rides and ice skating, cocoa and toast, warm furry boots and coats, evergreens coated with snow.

And then there is reality.

Winter puts on its icy face and laughs at our miserable hope that it will soon be spring.

39 more days, winter says.

But don’t count on it.