Day of reckoning.
Doctor appointment, to review my blood results.
Got up at 430, to work early.
Left work at 315pm.
What the hell?
Hello, Doc? Uhm, can I reschedule?
What? Thursday? This Thursday? You are kidding, right?
I will not get out of my driveway.
You haven’t heard?
A storm is on its way.
When can I come in?
Can’t you just tell me if I can start buying green bananas?
Huh? Just kidding. Do you think I will live to see them turn yellow?
What do you mean? I need to come in…. Is it bad news?
If it is, can you prescribe medical marijuana?
What? No, I am not a pot head.
Why do I have to come in for you to tell me I am a dysfunctional idiot with a vitamin D deficiency and a sugar addict?
Do you make house calls?
Come on, Doc. Lighten up. I have a bottle of wine just waiting for your company. Red wine. And an apple.
You know what they say: A bottle of wine and an apple a day, keep the werewolves away.
No, I am not calling you a wolf.
I just need to reschedule.
By the way, I need drugs.
I am a nervous wreck.
Get a pet? Are you kidding?
I have 2 cats and a husband and all 3 of them are the root cause of my anxiety.
Of course I drink.
Take 2 aspirin and call you in the morning?
How about if I take 2 bottles of wine and a box of chocolates and 5 green bananas, and top it off with a hot fudge sundae?
Yeah, ok. I hear you. You will be here when? In 30 minutes?
Just bring the whipped cream.
And a case of wine.