Thoughts on doctors:
Need my blood pressure prescription. Feeling ok. Doc prescribes heavy dosage of vitamin D. I get sick.
Go back to the doc. Not feeling well. Could it be the vitamin D? Oh no, your vitamin D is much better. Yeah? But I’m not.
You have lost weight. Yeah? So? I have not been eating sugar.
You have unexplained weight loss. Huh? I cut down on sugar.
You may have a serious disease, an ugly one. You need tests.
I take tests. I run all over the county taking tests.
Doc doesn’t like the test results. I need to take them again.
Are you kidding? And fast again? I nearly passed out the last time.
You can’t go back to work until the test results are in.
They are in. You just don’t like them. Do I really have to repeat these tests?
Yes, and take a few more. We have to get to the bottom of this.
What seems to be the diagnosis? I still feel shaky.
You are running around too much.
Yeah, taking tests.
Your red blood cell count is up.
I drink red wine. Should I switch to white?
Get your shaky butt in here Friday. And then we will schedule you for an electrocardiogram.
Are these the ugly results you told me to expect?
We are not finished with you yet.
Can I go back to work?
Call me in the morning and we will discuss that.
Should I take 2 aspirin?
Oh, by the way, can I get my blood pressure meds?
Yes, but only after you get your blood tested again.
I sit back, laugh and eat a candy bar.
I vow to gain weight.
I love going to the doctor when I am fat.
I might bring in a dozen dunkin donuts for the staff.