“Well, Wolf, you sure are a bridge over troubled water, moping around, and acting less crazy than usual.”

“I was counting on feeling better and getting back to my normal routine.  My spirit has been temporarily derailed.  I saw a train at the end of the tunnel.  My immortality paid an unwelcome visit, and forced me to lay around like a beached chicken butt.  My doctor wears a clove of garlic around her neck when I show up.  I have taken so many blood tests, my blood is gone.  All that is left is consumed shiraz and malbec.  The hospitals are full of drunks who are requesting my blood.”

“I heard a rumor that the local pubs are placing calls to the missing person’s bureau.  Their businesses are in a severe slump.”

“You had to mention that, didn’t you, Minnie?  It is bad enough that I have an undiagnosed ugly disease.”

“You mean there is no diagnosis yet?”

“The diagnosis is that it is ugly.  Now, consider the options:  Ugly:  the opposite of beautiful.  Ugly:  If you wake up with a coyote, and that coyote is laying on your arm, cut your arm off.  Ugly:  A medical term, used by doctors to scare the living #%@@5@@ out of the patient.   Ugly:  Do you have a living will?  Ugly:  Only the good die young.”

“Well, that should be some comfort to you.  You are no spring chicken.”

“I am a winter chicken, Minnie.  Let’s face it, most winter chickens get ugly sooner or later.”

“Are you worried?”

“I am.  If I don’t get out of here soon, the pubs will close down.”

“What will you do differently if you ever get loose again?”

“If?  It’s not if.  It’s when I get loose.  And when that happens, I am going to party like it is 1999.”

“I never did understand Prince or the artist formally known as Prince.”

“It’s a Minnesota thing, Minnie.  In Minnesota, doves cry and ride around in red corvettes.”

“I feel your attitude changing.  Are you feeling a little better?”

“It happened about an hour ago, Minnie.  I read an email from an undisclosed source, who made me laugh my ass off.  And it is true:  Laughter is the best medicine.”

“What about your diagnosis?”

“Pour some sugar on me,  Minnie, and hold the salads.  Just hurry on down to Mcd’s before they eliminate the big macs.  My new philosophy:  Eat, drink and be merry.  It’s time to face the enemy in the mirror, and confront the demons.  This week has given me new insight into life:  Live life, whatever it brings.  And celebrate those moments that lift your spirits.  An ugly diagnosis is only a diagnosis, and not a certainty.”

“Is there anything you would like, Wolf?’

“Yeah. Liz’s fudge….. with walnuts.”




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