The Easter Rabbit was at the grocery store today.
Kids were lined up to get their pictures taken with the goofy rabbit.
All the check out people were wearing pink ears.
While I was in line, the plastic container of blueberries in my cart, opened, and there were blueberries everywhere.
The elderly check out lady, with the pink ears, told me to get another container.
I had to walk by that goofy rabbit.
The rabbit was a little strange looking, as he sat on a couch with a screaming child.
I decided to talk to the rabbit.
“Hey, Bunny, having a rough day, aren’t you? Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine that when you reached bunny status, that kids would be afraid of you? That your rabbit costume could be just a little too overwhelming for a 2 year old? Look at you. The goofy tooth, hanging out of your mouth, the fake carrot in your hand, and those giant ears. Actually, I am half scared of you. Is this your full time job? If it is, have you considered taking it up a notch, ditching the rabbit act and moving on to the fat man in red?”
The rabbit was silent.
I continued: “Let’s face it. Kids love Santa. He is jolly, smells like booze and gives the kids presents. This Easter gig is over the top. A 6 foot rabbit, who doesn’t talk, and has one tooth is not exactly attractive to anyone, even a kid. Maybe you ought to consider a career change.”
The rabbit got up from his couch and handed in his carrot.
I ran into him later, at the pub.
He was out of costume, but I knew it was the rabbit guy, as he still had the tooth issue.
However, I was quite encouraged. He had changed into a red outfit, smelled like booze and kept saying, “Ho, Ho, Ho.”
There were 3 of us old gals in the pub. We beat the #%@% out of him, for calling us hos.
From what I understand, the ex rabbit ( and wannabe Santa) has moved on to a new endeavor. He bought a ground hog outfit and showed up in Allentown, Pa on the 2nd day of spring.
Unfortunately, he was deported to Bethlehem, Pa, where there is a shortage of parking spots, lettuce and coffee.
He is now parading around as a drama queen and found his soul mate, E, at the coffee shop.
Now, if only he could have a coach hand bag…..