A beautiful spring day, April 13, 2015.
70 degrees, with a westerly wind.
What’s with those little green tufts in the yard?
They are springing up everywhere.
Hey, a goose egg, in the grass, at work. Unattended. Mama goose would never leave her egg unprotected, unless…….dum de dumm dumm. A mystery in the industrial park. Bring in the lights, the cameras, the TV commentators.
Breaking news: Forensic files: A lone egg, a missing goose and a loaf of bread. Was it an accident? or Murder?
Who was the last person to see the goose sitting on that egg?
We located Tara and Kelly who were seen by several bystanders, sitting on the curb, with sliced Italian bread, broken into small bites, talking to the birds.
Tara: “I love the geese. I spend my lunch hours feeding them. I would never hurt them. I am crazy about birds. And for your information, I am seriously crazy.”
Kelly: “Huh? What egg? Do you think I am a clown? Do you think I am funny? No? Well, you idiot, I happen to be hilarious. And guess what? I don’t carry a purse. I carry a messenger bag full of Italian bread.”
It was obvious that someone had removed that egg from the nest.
We brought in Inspector Beaver.
She was half in the bag but brilliant, as ever, with her side kick, Candis.
The two of them shared a bottle of wine and called Liz.
“Hey, Liz, can we take the afternoon off?”
Liz said: “No way. I am taking the afternoon off. And I am leaving Kat and Mcat in charge.”
The 2 cats, or is it kats, charged out to the lawn and retrieved the egg.
It was a big one.
The HR manager showed up.
He was hungry.
Little did they know that he has a goose egg fetish.
The cats/kats sprayed luminol on the egg.
The HR manager’s prints appeared.
He grabbed the egg, fried it up and ate it.
End of story.
He claims that goose eggs are better than chicken eggs.
And that’s when all hell broke loose.
The Chicken B. went on record, stating that goose butts are nice, but that nothing can compare to chicken butts.
Next episode: Chicken B. sits on unattended egg in the yard for 28 days, and survives on bread and water from Tara and Kelly.