Some days are diamonds.

Some days are cubic zirconias.

Other days are broken glass.

Today was not in any of those categories.

It just plain sucked.

And blew.

And hissed.

And moaned.

At one point, during the worst of the onslaught, I leaned back, took a deep breath, and thought:

What the hell am I doing?

Let me rethink this scenario:

What would Beaver do?

Knowing the Beav, like I do, she would turn up the music, open her book and drift off into her private world.

I can recall approaching her, when she was adrift, and getting that look.  Don’t even think about it.  I need my space.  And my MTV.  Money for nothing and chicks for free.

Ok, So what would E do?

What?  What do you want?  Can’t you see I am eating my salad?  I need you to leave me alone, while I am eating my broccoli and garlic infused chicken.  And by the way, I quit.

Moving on to Pat, I say, “Hey, Pat, how you doing?”

She beats me to a bloody pulp and then grabs her purse along with Barb and the 2 of them go to the dollar store and to Yoccos.  When she returns, she says she has a belly ache and informs all of us she won’t be talking to us for the rest of the day.

I quickly turn to Candis. “Having a good day, Candis?”

Candis laughs.

I guess that means she is either having a good day or she isn’t.

I ask again:

“So, enjoying your day, Candis?”

By then, 42 people are lined up at her desk, asking her for help.

I don’t wait for a response.

I grab my trench coat and go for a walk.

The geese see me.

I flash them.

They hiss.

They moan.

They blow.

Hmmmm….Life among the geese is not that different from life among us humans.

As I walk back into the office, I ruffle my feathers, I stick out my tongue, and I honk.

And the result?


Bread flying from the hands of Tara and Kelly.

I eat several loaves of bread and sit on an egg, in the middle of the office.

I watch as everyone gingerly walks around me, afraid that I will goose them.

I love my new role.

I am poultry.

I am omnipotent.

I am in charge.

And then I get so caught up in myself, I leave the nest.

Erica sees the egg.

She boils it and puts it in her salad, for her ride home.

And so the story ends.

If you leave your egg unattended, someone will eat it.

Moral of the story:

Take a lesson from the geese:

Protect that egg with your life.

If you don’t, that egg will be someone else’s lunch or family.




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