Feet: They long to be free, to escape the confines of socks and panty hose.
Toes: They want to wiggle, displaying their colorful nails of red and green and blue and yellow.
The work place: Only closed toes and heels, please.
Summer time: Sand in between my toes, and an occasional dip in the ocean.
Time to buy shoes: What do I buy?
If you are Erica: I am going to the coach store, to pick out my shoes. What? The coach store only sells hand bags? And they are selling for 200 bucks plus? I am still going. And when I leave the coach store, I am headed for the dollar store, to pick out a pair of flip flops….. or two.
If you are Miranda: I only purchase orthopedic flip flops. My feet deserve orthos, as long as they reflect my gloomy Irish outlook, and hold up in the rain. If there is anything I love, it is a glass of wine, a black pair of ortho ffs and an occasional avocado.
Then there is Candis: Hello summer! Hello flip flops! I love baseball, chocolate labs, file maker and the burgers at Queens. But above all, I love the back room. I can finally say what I want, do what I mean, and act like an idiot, and still remain the queen.
Pat? Where are your flip flops? What? You would rather wear your steel toed shoes? What are you spraying in your shoes? And those socks! Huh? Your cats used to love them and now they run from them when you toss them in the air after a rough day at work? It just might be time to change, Pat. Your feet have been constrained, controlled and restricted, for 60 years. Let them out of the closet. Kick up your heels, and join the rebellion. Flip flops forever!
And Wolf, you goofy old goat. Do you now or have you ever owned a pair of flip flops? Just as importantly, did you ever wear them? And if so, how did it feel? And if you didn’t, why not?
And Wolf reflected on the questions, and replied:
Huh? I have been flopping around this flipping world for a half a century or more, and I have never flipped the bird to anyone I didn’t like. But I have done my share of flopping.
And so it goes.
Wear what you like, do what you do, say what you mean, and if you happen to run into someone wearing flip flops, you most likely are in the twilight zone, in the back room.