“Have you ever seen a grown man naked?”

“Oh no, here we go again.  You know, Wolf, most people have no idea what you mean when you ask that question.”

“I only ask it when I am slightly tipsy, you idiot.”

“Are you calling me an idiot?”

“Yes, an idiot chicken.  Just like Erica.  She waltzes in at 330pm, after spending her lunch hour at the grocery store, looking for half priced cookies,  lettuce and other unmentionables.  When she returns to work, she looks like she has been racing around the store, in her sweats and bloomers.  Her cheeks have turned a rare color of crimson and she insists that we have turned up the heat.  Her phone rings.  She stares at it and asks, “What?  What do you want from me?  Mother of God.  Can’t you leave me alone?”


“And she answers it..  Hi!!!!!!!  It’s me, Erica!!!!!!! How can I help you?”

“Then what?”

“Then the Beaver, the Princess, the Grouch and the Chicken Butt laugh their asses off, as they zoom into the twilight zone of customer service.  You see, the back room CSRs are professional idiots.  They know when to hold them, know when to fold them.  Masters of the art of control.  Yeah, they might cuss and shake their fists, releasing their frustration among friends, but when it comes to customer control, meet the masters!”

“So how do the 5 of you differ?”

“Let me explain in one word, for each of us.  OK?”


“Pat:  Detailed.

Miranda:  Directive.

Candis:  Precise.

Erica:  Diligent.

Chicken Butt:  Deranged.  ( but engaged).”

“And who is most successful?”

“We don’t compete on that level, Minnie. We are who we are, and the secret to our success is to find the customer who needs our special skills.”

“Does that really happen?”

“Yes, it does.  And when we curse and weep and gnash our teeth, we know, deep down, that we have been successful because we are well matched with our customers. As they say:  a good fit.  So, as some ask for a new account, a new job, a change, others would never want to give up those relationships.  There are those who truly love what they do, what they have and what they are.  It makes me wonder:  Which is more fulfilling?  Reaching for the stars?  Or truly loving what you are doing?”

“So, Wolf, in summary, what the hell are you really asking?”

“Have you ever seen a grown man naked, Minnie?”






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