Naughty, wild and uncontrollable

Returning to work tomorrow.

Mixed feelings.

Vacation was not exactly what I had expected.

Don’t think I could make it as a nurse.

But finally, after 10 days, I see improvement.

And that makes my vacation worthwhile.

So thankful I had the time off to be at home.

The cats will miss me tomorrow too.

Well, they will miss the constant feedings.

I can’t say that I miss having left over turkey..

I did roast a rather plump chicken, and threw out the butt.  ha!

It tastes wonderful on soft rolls with mayo and cranberry sauce.

Another month gone by.

Now the Christmas rush is on.

Santa will be firing up his sleigh.

If you have been nice, he will be stopping by.

He won’t be looking for the chicken butt.. He knows I am naughty, wild and uncontrollable.

It won’t really matter to me.

Nordstrom has a sale.

And free shipping.

My santa is the UPS man.

He isn’t dressed in red, he doesn’t land on the roof to slide down the chimney, and I don’t have to leave milk and cookies for him.

Yeah, I have mixed feelings about going back to work tomorrow.

But then again, I can’t wait to get back to normal:  Wild, naughty and uncontrollable.







peep for hire

Have you ever battled with an object?

Oh boy.  It has been delivered.

It is leaning against the garage,  covered in plastic wrap, just waiting to be unwrapped.

I fight with the wrapping.

It won’t budge.

Geez, it seems that this puppy weighs a ton.

Scissors please.


It stands on its own.

How much does it weigh?

OOOOOh.  Yikes.  I carry it up the stairs.

I think about Led Z.

There’s a lady….

She is climbing the stairway to heaven.

I., on the other hand, am considering calling 911.

My wrist hurts.

Here I am standing in the kitchen.

A light bulb is out.

A $2 light bulb.

My delivery?

A $100 ladder.

I climb the stairway to heaven…. shaking… as I replace the bulb.



Now what  do I do with this ladder?

It rests against the stairway to hell….. oops I mean the basement.

Feeling like a junior bluebird:  Always prepared.

If that light bulb goes out again,  I have it covered.

Wait!  I forgot to buy light bulbs.

But I did buy a dozen marshmallow peeps.

So this peep’s  for hire..

Even if  we are dancing in the dark.





Cheers and cat nip for all!

On this Thanksgiving day, my wish is for Jim to get over this nasty cold and cough, and start eating again.

It is so sad to watch as a loved one suffers.

I can only try to make him comfortable, as he struggles to feel better.

Even the cats seem depressed.

I did not have the heart to cook a traditional meal today, when I knew it would not be enjoyed, nor eaten.

I did, however, saunter out doors, to the deck, to enjoy the 60 degree weather.  Amazing, for November 26th.

Next week, Jim and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary.  Geez, how did we ever stay together that long?

I am hoping by then, that he will be feeling better and we can enjoy a delayed traditional wedding/thanksgiving feast….. including cat nip for Puff Daddy and Half PInt!

Cheers to all!




Giving thanks









Celebrating life

Pumpkin pie



Holiday from working

Feeding the needy

Giving thanks for all that we have and to those who have made it all possible.

Saluting our troops for the greatest gift of all






Either turn it off or increase my meds

Home today on vacation.

All day long, the news was about violence, across the globe.

There are travel advisories for the holidays.

No specifics, of course, just warnings that terroristic activities could happen anywhere.

The world is a scary place, if you listen to the news reports.

Today, for example, a trooper was shot in Philadelphia, a Russian plane was shot down in Turkey, terrorists are hiding in Belgium, Minneapolis and Chicago are protesting against police activity,  troops are being deployed to hunt down IS. It goes on and on and on and on.

I must live in a sheltered world.

When I work, I don’t listen to the news.

I check out the weather forecasts, granted, to see what’s going on with the road conditions, and then I am in a different world for 8 hours a day.

I come home oblivious to the horrors happening in the world, and usually have a blast or two to take the edge off the day.

Sometimes I wonder if our world has too much information sharing.

I think I may have to turn off the TV for the rest of my vacation.




A gift to myself, in November

Such a difference in a day from the usual routine.

No alarm clock.

Leisurely coffee.

Cooked:  Yup, a beef roast and veggies.

Brushed the cat.

Watched old TV reruns.

Ate when I was hungry, and not when I was stressed.

Have a list of many things to be done, but decided my mental health needed another day of rest.

There is something healing about a few days of non stop relaxation.

Several friends asked me if I was going anywhere on my vacation.

I’m not.

I’m staying home.

And then it hit me, I am rarely at home.

So yes, I am going somewhere this week.  I am going home.

And if I don’t get all my chores on my list accomplished, so be it.

It’s home, after all.

I think about what Robert Frost said:

Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.

Move over Jimmy and the cats.  The Chicken Butt is home to roost for a week.


Defining a bum

Definition of a bum:

Gets up, drinks coffee, eats marshmallow peeps, has a few beers, doesn’t get dressed, feeds cats, makes a few sandwiches, plays candy crush, pops a bottle of wine, gets into the cashews, reluctantly vacuums, decides to make the bed, but can’t (cat is in it and looking mean), finds a bag of dried pineapple, eats a dozen or so, watches an old movie with Sean Penn, turns on the Eagles game  (that was a mistake). Takes a well deserved break, only to find the cat staring at me.  He has been stalking me all day.

Go back to the on line games, try to get Jim to eat something, but he is coughing so much he cant eat. The pharmacy calls.  My pills are ready.  Yeah? Well, that’s nice. Keep them for a day or so, ok?  I happen to be indisposed, for a few days.  Huh? Yeah, I am in training to be a bum.

I happen to pass a mirror.  I should not have looked. Yikes.  Oh the horror!  It’s a good thing I can continue this bum thing tomorrow. What the hell happened to me anyway?  I used to be a kid, growing up in the Midwest, where I hear they got snow yesterday.  I am not ready for snow.  Bums do not like snow.  We bums prefer a nice warm day. A day we can awake at dawn, and high tail it to the porch for a couple of brewskies.  That reminds me: I have to take in the deck chairs and all that jazz one of these days. I look outside. The sky is an amazing color of pink.  The leaves are covering the back yard. Good.  I hear leaves are good for the yard.  At least that is what bums say.  Bums hate raking.

I have a few days off this week.  Well, all week, to be exact.  By the time next week rolls around, I should be a bona fide bum.  I think about Thanksgiving.  Oh boy.  Bums hate cooking. I think about that movie, when the kid and his family went to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas, or was it Thanksgiving.  I forget.  We bums forget a lot.  I wonder if there are turkey egg rolls, with gravy and cranberry sauce.  I resolve to call the deli sometime this week, when I am not half in the bag. I hear they do the whole turkey thing, especially for bums who are too lazy and too old to cook.  They even have pick up now at the grocery store.

I am feeling good now.  I can drive to the store, pick up  a T day dinner, and stop at Dunkin to load up on those jelly dog nuts.  I have a feeling that this week is going to be a good one…. for bums,  like me.



And then she croaked.

Question: dreams:  Do they mean anything?

Last night I dreamed about some of my co workers.

And the dreams were crazy, sexual and horrific.

Dream number 1:

There I was, dancing on the pole, looking amazing, when the pole collapsed.

My wig fell off, revealing I was nothing more than a bald eagle.

Next:  The guys in Customer Service were out drinking.

I showed up.

They were appalled.

Elderly chicken butts need to buzz off. They can ruin the ambience.

I refused to retreat.

I wore my popeye outfit and sang:  “I am what I am. I am popeye the sailor man.”

The stoning began.

I was stoned, you were stoned, let’s all get stoned.

Bob Dylan showed up.

Come on. who cares if a 75 year old Stoner shows up?

Neil Young entered the scene.

“Old man take at look at yourself…..”

Dream number 2 kicked in.

Lionel Richie and Stevie Wonder were singing,

Who is Penny lover? And why did you call to say you love me?

And in my inebriated state of mind, I sauntered home.

Can someone please take me out back and shoot me?

Can it wait til Nov 30?

If not, don’t expect me back.

And in my last dream:

For 30 days and 30 nights, the Cx B. stayed at  her desk, gathering cob webs in a non responsive mode.

Yeah, she croaked,

And on the 31st day. Pat and the Beav were hungry and asked the Chx B what she was doing for lunch….

And when they realized the old goat was no longer alive, they ordered gyros in her honor.

And the world continued,

2 months later, Pat was overheard saying:

“Hey Beav. Remember that idiot who used to sit by us? ”

The Beaver shook her head and told Pat to shut the hell up.

Let us all reflect on the effect that old C Butt Geezer had on all of us.

Who cares what you thought of her?

When the day is done

And the year is gone,

Can someone please have as much fun as she had?









And how was your life today?

Ok.  Wild day.

Not a minute to goof off.

And you know that I love to goof off.

The minutes in each hour were devoured by the tasks at hand.

There were obstacles to overcome.

A vacation on the horizon.

Will I be able to go home tonight, and feel that I have done everything possible?

And yes, at 501PM, this evening, I was feeling very happy that I could leave for a week, thanks to all my coworkers who do the amazing things.

So, now with 9 days ahead of me, free time, so to speak, I am winding down.

The work place drama will slowly evaporate from my mind, and I will turn my attention to my small circle of family: husband and cats.

I hear Half Pint, the moose of all cats, speaking in cat lingo:  Awwwwwwwwwwww Wow!!!  As I feed him.

Puff Daddy,on the other hand, sasses back at me, as her tail slowly whips up and down, and I know that I had better retreat, or she will smack the hell out of me.

And the hubby?  Poor Jimmy. He caught the plague or whatever I had, last week. And he is weak as a kitten.  Wait.  I have never known a kitten who was weak, at least in this household.

Well, at least my ladder was delivered today.  Yeah, I ordered a ladder.  I am too short to reach the curtain rods and all that jazz.  So I am in for some spring/fall cleaning.

How wonderful it is to have a vacation, but in actuality, every day is wonderful if you believe in the ancient saying:

“One should count each day a separate life.”,,,, Seneca.

I hope you enjoyed the life you lived today!






Did you have a good day?

Hold it.

Does anyone really care?

I have realized that most of us don’t give a rat’s ass how your day was.

We are all so ridiculously self centered, that we think that our challenges are the worst of the worst.

Well, my fellow idiots.

I had a bad day.

So what?’

It got so ridiculous at one point, that I told the Beaver and Oscar that I had opened a Chinese fortune cookie and it just happened to be an anciently wise warning:  “Shut the heck up, Pat.”

At 5pm, I watched, as the Beav sauntered to her car, and as Oscar sat at her desk, twerking and eating the last of my mint kit kats.

As I drove through the deer infested roads, I was seriously stressed. I mean it was raining and dark and all that stuff, so I stopped for a few night caps, only to encounter Scott and Brain, at the bar.

Brian still had his cold and sounded like Froggy.

Scott? Well, let’s just say: Ditch those shorts for a pair of pants.


Heading home.

Can’t see.

Can’t pee.

Oh oh.  I take that back.

I can pee.

And the chicken butt?

Oh yeah!

Wee wee wee!

All the way home!