Good news, bad news.
Happy feelings, sad feelings.
Is it normal to have these highs and lows each day?
Am I bipolar?
Then, I think about it, in a rare lucid moment.
These tumultuous feelings were mostly for others, not me.
Oh sure, I had my ups and downs, and coped with those moments, as they happened.
It’s what I experienced through and for others that really mattered, and took its toll on my emotional state.
Is it natural? Normal? Is that what matters? To live my life through the lives of others?
“You are your brother’s keeper.”
“Do unto others….”
Ok, I get it.
But when my cup overflows, like it did today, I escaped to a safe place, where everyone is an acquaintance, and no one is a friend. Where it is safe to do and say and be who you are and no one really cares.
To take a deep breath or two and laugh at nonsense, to enjoy an hour of space, and to garner strength to face reality once again.
I am home.
My free time is gone, but not forgotten.
For even in the midst of a crisis, we all need a respite, a few moments to appreciate who we are and who we are not.
And to carry on, in spite of the challenges of our lives.
Come on, now…..
Face it: Isn’t it all worth it? Just to be alive?