Aging?

Think those old people things in the pharmacies are for someone else?

Guess what?

When it comes time, it is time.

Reminds me of the old saying,  “There will be no wine before it’s time.”

It’s time.

Should I get a walker with or without wheels?

Oh wait.  Now there are rollators.

You can walk, ride and sit.

Whoopee.

And what if you fall and can’t get up?

Ring the buzzer and someone will come over, kick in the door, and get your butt off the floor.

Then what?

If Mother nature is calling, you may never make it on time.

So, it all depends.

Wait. The phone is ringing.

Huh?

I can’t hear.

Who was it?

The doctor called.

Are you taking your meds?

Huh?

What meds?

I have a couple of bottles of pills, but my eyes are shot and I don’t know what the heck they are, so I am not bothering with them.

The clinic is calling.

You are due for a mammography.

Are you kidding?

And a bone density test.

For real?

Hey, instead of calling me to remind me of what I need to do, can someone bring me a burger and fries?

Oh one more thing:  You are due for a colonoscopy.

Yeah?

Well, stick it where the sun don’t shine.

You think I want to go out for a colonoscopy when I can barely get to Taco Bell for a burrito?

What?

Am I taking vitamin D?

Yeah, every day, you idiot, screw drivers, doubles.

And guess what?

I just may take up smoking again.

Yes, smoking.

I don’ t feel one bit better after giving up the nasty habit, so I might as well, go out in a blaze of smoke.

It’s the phone again.

Now what?

Huh?  Father who?  And why haven’t I been to church in 42 years?

Hey, Father, got any wine?

Yeah?

Well, grab a bottle and come on over.

And bring a burger and fries, ok?

Don’t worry about bringing your walker or rollator.  Just bring the weed and I will do the rolling.

 

Wolf

 

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