I am on a soft food diet.
What the heck am I going to eat?
Soft boiled eggs?
Why is it when we can’t eat something crunchy, we crave it?
Ok, so this is not permanent.
It’s all about my teeth.
They are falling out, wearing out and getting old.
My parents’ generation had all their teeth pulled when this %@@% started to happen, and they had those fake choppers that they put in a glass of alka seltzer at night.
I remember seeing my mother without her teeth.
What the hell?
Her cheeks sunk into her face, like she was sucking on a lemon.
I had to admit it was frightening.
But then, the next morning, she was back to normal.
And she looked great.
I am settling for another option: pain and suffering.
And I still look crappy.
This is only the first appointment out of many that I will endure.
At my age, do I care if my teeth live longer than I do?
I hear that when one dies, their toe nails, finger nails and hair continues to grow.
What a scary thought. A skeleton with long hair and great teeth.
I hope the dentist lets me keep my gold tooth.
The kids today get tattoos.
The Boomers got gold teeth.
Tonight, I am not comfortably numb.
And drinking a beer through a straw.
Somehow it doesn’t taste as good as it usually does.
I am considering a liquid diet until this tooth issue is resolved.
By then, I will either be a certified drunk or a victim of death by dentist.
Until then, I am headed for the grocery store tomorrow, in the baby food section.