Sitting on the dock of the bay…. ok, so I really was sitting on my deck,

When the insects started hanging out with me.

Buzzing, flying, biting and all that kind of stuff.

Hey, Chicken Butt, remember:  You bought a zapper.

Go get it.

Brought it out and the bugs went away.

Not one bug.

I am wondering if the zapper emits a warning to those little varmits.

As soon as I put the zapper down, to take a swig of beer, a bug would appear, as if to say,

“Hey CB,  You and that Zapper don’t scare us.”

I tried without success to just get one bug zapped.

I was becoming despondent.

I watched my skin turning into a lobster, while I guzzled a warm beer, and burned my face on my metal sun glasses.

I picked up the Zapper and laid it in my lap.


I heard it zap.

I looked around and wondered what the hell it zapped.

Not a dead nor live bug in sight.

Now, however, I am inspired.

Just sit here with the zapper in my lap and as it has been said, “They also serve those who sit and wait”.

Or something like that.

30 minutes later, burned to a crisp, the Zapper and I hightail it back inside.

A yellow jacket is loose in the house.

Never fear, the Zapper is here.

I got it….. after falling over a chair, accidentally zapping my head.


I now know what the meaning of brain dead is.

Until tomorrow,

Chicken B.




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