Hello Doctors in the Lehigh Valley:
I am looking for a new health provider.
May I list my requirements?
- Don’t order unnecessary tests for me. I won’t take them.
- My family has no common theme, in their histories. They died from a myriad of things.
- I will not take those bone strengthening pills. After several years, my teeth started dissolving.
- I have a history of high blood pressure and panic disorder. Are you willing to prescribe the meds?
- I won’t schedule appointments, unless I decide it is necessary.
- I am sitting in the sun, to alleviate psoriasis, and to flood me with vitamin D. Don’t prescribe heavy doses of Vitamin D. I won’t take it.
- My doctor or 24 years retired. I wish he hadn’t. I would schedule an appointment every 6 months or so, He would ask me if I wanted to take any tests or get a flu shot or whatever. I always declined, letting him know that I am waiting for medical marijuana.
- I work full time. I hate being sick. I am a positive person, and when I have a problem, I will schedule an appointment.
- I stop every night for a night cap or two. Yes, I self medicate.
- I am an unusually silly person, who loves life, even in my twilight years.
If you like pina coladas….
Ok, wrong song.
If you want a new patient who could possibly be the worst one you have ever had, I’m the girl that you dreamed of……Meet me at a bar called O’Malleys, where we will plan our escape.