That is the atmospheric condition today.
Waiting for the sun to subside, so I can hang out in the soup, without getting scorched.
A rather sociable day of shopping, I must say.
The guy at the beer store: “Bet you didn’t recognize me, did you?”
Thinking to self: “Geez, what the hell happened to him? Did he go bald overnight?”
Beer store guy: “Not wearing a hat today.”
“And what else is different about me?”
30 minute dissertation on getting Lasix. And how, after 12 years, well, the eyes go back to being a mess.
Next: The lottery store:
“Hey Chicken Butt!”
Oh no. Why does she have to say it so loudly?
“Yeah? It’s me. What?”
“Oh nothing. Just wanted to say hi.”
Cat guy in the pet aisle, hogging the space, picking out cans of cat food.
Me: “Cats sure are picky about what they eat, aren’t they?”
20 minute rant about the difference between cats and dogs..
High tail it to the liquor store.
Male clerk: “Sure is hot in here. I am turning down the AC. These women are always so cold. I told them to put on a coat if they are cold.”
Female clerk: “I am freezing in here. Excuse me while I get a sweater.”
I say, “Better make it a coat. It’s about to get much colder.”
Stopped at the bar for breakfast.
Had a screw driver and cheesy garlic bread.
Oh no. Here comes Carl.
60 minute dissertation on medical coverage/ retirement/arthritis/ungrateful wives and dogs that bite.
I finish my breakfast and pick up my car keys.
“You aren’t leaving already, are you?”
“Yeah. Carl. I am.”
“So soon? I just ordered another beer.”
“Well, isn’t that special? See you after your knee surgery, in the fall or whatever.”
Home at last.
No cold beer.
Throw one in the freezer.
A can rolls out of the freezer.
A beer frozen solid, from last night, or last year, or something like that.
Falls on my foot.
From now on, I am wearing steel toed shoes when I am home.
Turn on the TV.
Oh no, not for this chicken butt.
I grab my warm beer and go out in the soup.
Finally, a little peace, space and quiet.
Not so fast.
Here comes Half Pint.
“Oh Wow! Oh Wow! Oh Wow! Oh Wow wow wowowowowowoow.”
I give up.