Halloween, 2016: Hope you savored every moment!

Happy Weenie.

Hope you enjoyed this special day, Oct 31, 2016.

It was great, seeing the costumes, at work.

And then, at the bar.



I just want to say this;

What the hell?

Doesn’t anyone like to dress up on Halloween?

Oh, a few at the office.

And even fewer at the bars.

I love this holiday.

Should I just excuse myself and let the children do their thing?

Sorry, kiddies.

I met the nicest gent tonight, at the bar.

No, he wasn’t dressed up.

I saw something in his face, when I met him, that signaled:  Hey  Mary Jane, just have some fun.

And I did.

And he and his family did.

And what a hoot it was.




So what?

My bucket list still has several destinations.

One:  Ny Thanksgiving Parade.

Two:New Orleans:   Mardi  Gras.

Three: Super Bowl.

And for now, home again, home again, jiggity jig.

Ok, Pinty? Puffy?  I am tired.

I was an idiot all day long.

And tonight?

Well, let’s hope the Vikings beat the Bears.

And for tomorrow?

Go Cubs.

And go Chicken Butt.

Ain’t life grand?






Who loves a cat at 4am?

Admitting,  I had a rough time deciding what to do.

Saturday morning:  Up since 4am, with an uncontrollable cat:  “Oh Wow. Oh Wow. Oh Wow, wow, wow, wow.”

I refused to give in.

Until, that is, until 9am.

Finally, that cat is outside.

At 10am?


Ok, so what the hell?

Got dressed.

Fed the cats…. again.

Let me out of here.

Cat is controlling me.

I can’t handle this.

Hey, Jim?


You started this.

You and your cats!


Ok, so I will honor these two, in your memory.

However, I am not amused, nor will I be at their mercy.

Guess where I went?

To get more cat food.

And then?

To the bar.

I am just as hungry as you are, Pinty and Puffy.

Several hours later?

Back home.

Feeding the cats.

Oh the humanity.

Nighty night everyone.

My life is consumed by 2 cats, while living a life of debauchery.

Oh No!

I see a fruit fly hovering over my pc.

Hey Patti!

Love that zapper.



Oct 28, 2016: Another day that has passed and will never be ours to enjoy again.

A strange Friday.

Oh well, not that strange.

I like to exaggerate, just to be sensational.

Or is it obnoxious?

Yes, the 2 cats slept with me.

One on my head, one on my feet.


I have learned to turn over and pretend I am sleeping.

However, once the Oh Wow cat sees one of my eyes open, it is all over.

Now, wait a minute.

It is Friday.

Get the heck up and throw on your hello kitty robe.

Take a shower and get the hell out of dodge.

Make sure the cats are in.

Who cares if they are miserable?

It’s cold outside and I don’t want to worry about you out there, freezing or running into a stray beaver or ground hog.

So, off to work I go.

And it is a doozie.

But that is another story.


Stopping by the bar, in the middle of a traffic jam, after picking up cat food for the oh so picky cat.

Listened to the velvet fog singing on the juke box, and ran into someone who thinks I am his neighbor.

I’m not.

But that’s ok.

I guess we are all neighbors, after all.

Having a cold one.

Winding down.

Thinking about absolutely nothing.

Looking forward to a great weekend, the end of October, 2016, and hopefully, another Chicago Cub win tonight.

Enjoy your weekend everyone!

Take life one day at a time.

Give yourself a break.

Let it happen!




The Back Room Solution

A thought or two on a rainy, cold, damp day in October.

What the hell is this?

A fruit fly is invading my privacy tonight.

I am eating a swiss cheese burger, with perogies, and drinking a  cold Coors, after feeding the kitties, when a pesty fruit fly decides to invade my space.

Geez that is irritating.

I reach for my zapper, waiting for the little critter to cross my path.

Nothing happens.

I put the zapper down.

He’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

I am not amused.

I think about the day.

It was also, not very amusing.

Well, except for the wiener.

Yes, the wiener.

You see, when one of my co workers decides to go on a rant, or say something offensive, that person gets the weenie on their desk….. until the next person acts up.

It is our teams’ way of doing balances and checks.

Act like an idiot, you get the wiener.

Say something out of line, the weenie is on your desk.

Curse?  Oh my, my, oh hell yes, you get the wiener.

I love to see that weenie make the rounds.

You see, we all have our moments, but when the weenie speaks, well….. let’s face it:  You acted over the top.

So tonight, I wish I had that weenie.

This fruit fly is not only over the top, he is hovering around my beer.

When I reach for the zapper, he is gone.

So I laid the zapper on the chair.

And guess what?

I heard it go off!


Karma is a crazy thing.

Go looking for it, and it doesn’t happen.

Lay back and eat a perogie, and zap!  gone.

See you tomorrow, in the back room.

And remember: The weenie is watching.




Cut it out, Robert Plant!

All day long, I hear Scottie:  Oh my, my, oh hell yes, time to put on that party dress.

It is really a distracting thing when a song permeates your mind all day.

Has it ever happened to you?

And how did you get rid of it?

I tried a number of things:

Count backwards from 50 to 1.

Didn’t work.

Get outside and go for a walk.

Song is still embedded in my mind.

Eat a nice lunch.

Chow down.

And when it is over….. there it is again.

Go to a meeting.

How is everyone?

Of course, I answer, “comfortably numb.”

Hey Floyd, you pink goof! Why are you inside my thought process?

I hear, “hello, hello, hello, is there anybody out there?”

That’s it.


I turn my thoughts to Kasmir.
Oh no!


I can’t take these orgasmic sounds when I am working.

Mr Plant, what the heck is wrong with you?

Immediately go back to TP and the Heartbreakers.

“Oh my my, oh hell yes, time to put on that party dress.”

Now Scotty and I are both in party dress hell.

That’s it.

No more.

Turn on the radio.

Guess what is playing?

“Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world.”

Oh great.

Now the movie will never end.

As I sit here, in my party dress, comfortably numb, thinking orgasmic thoughts, running down a dream, on the dark side of the moon, I decide to watch the 2nd game of the world series.

I love a never ending movie.

I guess it’s the smell of wine and cheap perfume.

After all, you don’t know what it’s like, to be me.

Go Cubs!





A lovely Tuesday in October

What a lovely day.

Now, I can’t say I had a stress free day.

Who does?

For example:  5am:

Oh Wow!

No, Half Pint, not yet!

6am:  Wait!  I have heat and hot water!

Oh my my, oh hell yes, time to get a shower and dressed.

7am:  Oh oh.  It’s Tuesday. Bring the trash down.

And don’t forget to bring those strawberries and sticky buns to work.

8am:  No way!  What the heck?  Where did all this work come from?

9am:  I am buried!  And it is getting worse.

10am:  I need a sticky bun, with butter.

11am:  Not even half way through it, and no end in sight.

Noon:  Dan’s turkey and dressing! What a great lunch, for the chicken butt! Thanks Dan!

1pm:  Orders piling up.  Hello?  Are you there?  Give me a call, ok?

2pm:  Where are your reports?  Why haven’t you responded?  Are you alive?

3pm;  I cannot believe I have plowed through the blizzard and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

4pm:  Sigh!  Not sure I have accomplished everything I set out to do, and I have raced through so many issues, I just hope I did the right things.

5pm:  No way!  It’s 5?  Well, folks, I guess that ends my working day. Time to have a few hours to myself and then home to the kitties.

7pm:  Feeding time. Petting time. Praising time.  Watering time. Brushing time.

8pm:  For some reason, I feel good.  Where are my pjs?   It’s nice and cozy in here and the game is on! Cubs and Indians.

Yes, I am a baseball fan.

Turn on the game, head for bed and guess what?

I will probably have to check the internet tomorrow to see who won.

Oh life, you are such a crazy, wonderful existence.

Sometimes we take an ordinary Tuesday for granted.

And miss the rich nuances of the day.

Good night everyone!

I hope you sleep well and wake up in the morning, with a winged heart, giving thanks for another day of loving…..(K Gilbran)



3 days of the chicken condor

Ever go on a wild ride?

For 3 days?

And emerge slightly damaged, mostly silly and almost ridiculous?


It happens.

When it does, I have a few suggestions:

  1.  Go with it.
  2. Let it happen.
  3. Throw caution to the wind.
  4. Embrace spontaneity.
  5. Listen and talk to everyone.   Enjoy the diversity.  You just might make new friends.
  6. Forget about how you may come across.  Just be you.
  7. Be open, engaging and non judgmental.
  8. Share laughter.
  9. Listen.  Everyone has something special to say.
  10. Live for the moment…. and moments.  They are unforgettable

Not every weekend is wild.

Not every day is crazy.

No one can party all the time.

Unless, of course, you happen to be a chicken butt.



Sunday morning.

Have to get up early.

Breakfast with friends, at 930am.

Saturday night, no heat, but 2 cats and an electric heater did the trick.

One cat on my chest, the other on my feet, having nightmare after nightmare.

For example:

Driving in the fog on a Pennsylvania mountain.

Trying to do my job, while my eyes went crazy.

Oh no! I am blind!

No one came at 5pm to pick me up.

What the hell?

I really didn’t expect anyone to do that.

Got engaged to a 20 year old kid.

Oh no!

What in the hell is going on?

Cats hollering in my ear:  “Oh Wow! Oh Wow! Oh Wow!”

Reality kicks in.

Hungry as a bear.

Went to join my friends.

Instead of eating, drank 3 bloody marys.

“Hey!  I want scrambled eggs.”

No….not on the menu, but got them in spite of the menu.

The day flashed by in a NY minute.



Oh no!

I have to go home.

The Vikings lost to the Eagles?

No kidding.

I must have missed it.

Thanks, Patty, Ray, Jimmy, Bree, Matt, Bill, Alex and Connie.

I had a fabulous time today.

It was a Sunday to remember.


Let’s do it again!

Life is whatever you make it.

And today?

Well, it just happened to be one of the craziest days of October, 2016.

And I will remember this day forever.

What a hoot!



A not so perfect Saturday

Saturday is a day to sleep in.


Not so.

Geez it is 6am, and I have to get a blood test, so no coffee.

And then the car is scheduled for inspection.

And the cats need food.

So, off I go, without coffee at 730am.

What the heck?

10 people lined up to get blood tests.

It is raining, gloomy and windy.

I can’t find my insurance card.

And I need coffee.

When I arrived, late, at the Ford Dealership, the young man in the service dept was such a lovely person.  I usually hate going to the service department. My experience has been not so hot.  But today, a new guy and so very pleasant.

In approximately 2 hours, I was on my way to pick up groceries and to stop for my usual vitamin C breakfast.

After chatting with several of the regulars, it was time to head out and check on the cats.

Geez!  It is cold in here.

Oh oh. The furnace is not working.

No hot water either.

Now what?

Call the emergency line for furnace repairs.

D’Angelo talks me out of getting it fixed today.

He asks if I could be out of fuel.

How the hell would I know?

It is dark in that basement and the light bulb burned out, and it is dusty as all hell.

He says:  Well, do you have a flashlight?

And can you go down and look at the fuel indicator, yada yada yada.

I go down.

I don’t see any red line on the indicator.

He says:  “Ok, you are out of fuel.”

If you want us to come out, the fee is outrageous.


Weekend, remember?

So I decide I will wait til Monday.

He says,” Look Hon, I am just trying to save you money.”

Well, I go out and buy an electric heater.

The damn thing is a dud.

It really doesn’t throw heat.

So I stop for a drink and run into Pattie and Ray.

And we share a few laughs and drinks.

Home again.

Heater is on, but not effective.

Time to dig out the woolies and the afghan and hunker down with P Daddy and Half Ton.

Is it spring yet?



If your car talks, and asks a question, do you answer?

Friday night.

The rain is falling.

The wind is blowing.

Oh what a lovely streak of weather we had this week.

It just could be the turning point.

The transition from summer to autumn to early winter.

My car is quite vocal these days.

Hey, your tire pressure is low.

Uhmm. You need an oil change.

Come on!

All on a Friday morning?

Since when did cars start talking?

And putting the whammy on the day?

It’s bad enough to get up at 5 and out the door before the sun comes up….

And then….

“Hello! It is recommended that your oil needs to be changed.”

Hey, wait! Who are you?

And how do you know that?

Besides, It is really not the message to hear on a Friday.

Couldn’t you have delivered this message before the weekend?

May I ask,  “What happens if I don’t get an oil change?”

Do I have a grace period?

Do I need to rush out to the nearest oil changing station and cry the blues?

“My oil!”

“Oh my oil!”

I need to have it changed……. or else.”

No response.

Just a nagging thought in my mind.

If you drive this vehicle and an oil change was recommended, along with a low tire thingy, you are doomed.

Your days are numbered.

Your car is road kill, toast, a junk yard wanna be.

So, I do the needful thing.

I stop drinking at 8pm, feed the cats, change into my jammies, set the alarm for 6am tomorrow, yes Saturday, to take this broken down, sob of a car to the dealership and sit there for several hours, while I contemplate my future.

Just then, I hear a mantra:  Oh Wow!  Oh Wow!  Oh Wowowowowoowowowwoowowowowow.”

Yes, it is Half Pint, the big, fat, furry, clown faced cat who is bound and determined to bug the @!$@$@$@5 out of the Wolf.

Question:  Do you really wonder why I drink?

To excess?

Hey, kids, it’s ok.

Have a great weekend.

Stay safe,  feed your pets, while we toast to our lives.

Life is grand!  Aint it?