Oh my!

Things I was told today:

  1.  I haven’t had sex with my wife for 3 and a half years.
  2.  School pics cost $72 per sheet.
  3. I finally figured out what you stoners mean by 9/20.  Huh?  What do you mean, 4/20?
  4. Yes, I know NC is flooded.  But we need this stuff delivered by Monday. Can you do an overnight?
  5. Oh Wow!   (cat talk).  Translation:  Feed me and get me the hell out of here.  I have been cooped up all day.
  6. Look, Wolf, you severely  limit our ability to respond to you if you only email me.  Please send these requests to my 10 associates, if you want action.  You know who they are.
  7. I am on leave.  Don’t call, email or expect a reply.  I am a sick woman.
  8. What’s for lunch?
  9. Customer is looking for a brochure, with a dog on it.  What’s the item number?
  10. Someone said you are into whoppers.




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