Classic quotes, gone astray:
Every time a bell rings, an angel picks up a cell phone, to see who is calling.
Go ahead, make my….. oh wait, make it a double.
You can’t handle the truth. Hell yes! You’re damn right I did! I ate the last chocolate marshmallow santa.
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer was barred from the local pub. Damn boozer.
Grandma got run over…. yes, you guessed it. That damn boozing Rudolph.
When what to my wondering eyes did appear, but a bottle of reds, a bottle of whites and Billy Joel, half in the bag.
Lucy in the sky with Santa? Such a bimbo!
Oh no! You have mistletoe? Is it painful?
Chetsnuts roasting on an open fire? Oh my God. Poor Chet!
Why do you drink? Why do you roll smoke? Shut up, Hank Jr. You know why.