Buy me a drink, sing me a song…..

Can someone please adopt me?

I wander lonely as a cloud.

Ok, so I lied.

I wander, greeting everyone who happens to encounter the deranged c. butt.


Or Nordstrom?

Need a greeter?

Here are my qualifications:



Loves people.

Drinks a bit.

Ok, so I am half in the bag most days.

So what?

I will buy you a drink, just ask me.

I can’t help it.
Running around, I can’t help it.

Cut it out Eric Clapton.

You are as crazy as I am.

Is it Saturday night?

Oh no!  Elton is fighting, as he sings “This is your song.”



The answer is yes.

I will move to SC with you.

And I will be your beast of burden forever.


Is anybody out there?

Is anybody there?


I am comfortably numb.

Running on empty.

Working on a mystery.

Going where ever it leads.


Can we just dance one last dance, Mary Jane?

Don’t fear the reefer.

Good night, all.




Will this day be one of your favorite memories?


So many plans.

Can’t wait to get things done.

Oh oh.


Something happened.

It is called “who gives a @%$%5@%@@%”.

Off to the bar.

“Breakfast please.”

Screw drivers, doubles, of course.

And so the story goes….

Had a wonderfully crazy time, and I don’t regret one minute.

Story of my life:  Go with the mojo.

Time is fleeting.

Life can be difficult.

Do whatever feels good.

Hurt no one.

Just have a blast, while you can.

One day it will end.

Don’t wait for that day.

Live now.




If you think you probably shouldn’t, don’t do it.

The week in review:

“I didn’t think it would be this hard.”

(no comment)

My neighbor, Marie and her dog, Zane, showed up tonight.’

I have not seen nor heard from them in 10 years.


I just found out she likes wine.

Hellooooooo Marie.

I will be seeing you a lot sooner than 10 years from  now.  Ha!

I have to haul my jeans to a laundry tomorrow.

My washer spit out the thingies that spin around.

Oh well, who cares?

I find the most interesting people at the laundry.

I had a wild week at work.

Yes, it was busy.

Yes, I was out of control.

Yes, I enjoyed being a goof.

I might even sign up for the company picnic this year.

I want to get in that bubble and spin around like a hamster.

Puff Daddy is shedding.

Big time.

The Oh Wow cat is eating more than ever….. and staying out all night.

Actually, I did welcome that last night.

Do you know how difficult it is to sleep with a cat on your head?

I made a new facebook friend.

Such a nice kid.

From Chicago.

My kind of town.

I was invited to a party tonight.

I didn’t go.


I have a feeling it was not a typical party.

Enough said.

I used my well seasoned judgment to decide to fade away in the sunset.

And with that, hello Friday night.

Hello Coors Light.

Let the weekend begin.

Do whatever it is that you want to do.



Celebrate life.




Creatures, critters and companions


Or dog?

We all have our preference.

Dogs bring so much joy to life.

They wag and shake and carry on as soon as they see you.

It doesn’t matter if you have been gone 10 hours, 10 minutes or 10 days.

Although, if it’s been 10 days, they not only carry on, they whimper.

But they are so very needy.


Hey, ok.  So you are home.

Feed me.

If you have been gone 10 minutes, don’t bother to disturb me, unless, of course, you are feeding me.

Then I will eat my ass off, drink water from the fountain and go to sleep.

And once I wake up, watch out.

Bursts of energy are my forte’.  But only for a short time.

Then I need to find the quietest place in the house and sleep.

When I need to eat, you will know it.

I am tenacious.

I am relentless.

And I don’t give a damn, once I have my groceries.

Just deliver, human.

And I am fine.


I will eat anything and everything.

I am not fussy.

I will sit by you as you eat your human food, and look at you with the saddest eyes, until ….

Yes, until I have that food.

And once I do, I will wait patiently, at your feet, for more.

And then one day, you wake up and find that I am a blimp.

The cat, on the other hand, knows you are fat and lazy.

The cat will pounce on you, harass you and swat the living @5#%#%#5 out of you.

Cat ?

Or Dog?

How about both?

Or even better, when you add a parakeet or a ferret, or a hamster.

Pets rock.

They make life fun, as they draw you into their world.


All of us.

I wonder, sometimes, what our pets really think of us…..



The Chicken Butt meets Frankenstein

Ok, I was on my way to comfort a friend, who was recovering from surgery.

Well, let’s put it this way:  A bottle of wine always seems to make things better.

I took one look at her and said:  “Hey Frankie (as in Frankenstein), good to see you.”

She laughed and we shared a few glasses of wine, while her cats kept us company.

We took our drinks outside and enjoyed the warm spring evening, sharing stories from our illustrious pasts.

Time seems to fly whenever we get together.

She is a fabulous story teller, and I am the world’s most ridiculous idiot.

Such a relaxing evening.

So comfortable.

I could have stayed for a month or two…..


Home now.  8pm.

Smiling, as I feed the cats.

Laughing, as I think about the evening.

Can’t wait til the next encounter.

Some people are just too wonderful for words.

Hope you feel better soon, Frankie……. (Patti)

You are a hoot!


Life is short: Just do what it is that inspires you.

No, no, no, no, no.

Well.. wait…

Ok, maybe.

It’s been said that it takes at least 3 times, hearing an idea, before it actualizes.

What’s that mean?

If you are persistent, and you have the tenacity to continue to pursue your ideas, they just might fly.

Of if you convince others to listen to your ideas, and you have an audience seeking change….

You could get enough support to carry your ideas to fruition.

Most of us don’t have that drive, or the ability to help others open up to change.

How many wonderful ideas have died because we lacked the passion to persist?

I have always wanted to be a writer: Of songs, of stories, of philosophy, of life.

Somehow, life got complicated and I worked, not for only me, but for those who needed my support.

Now, I am free falling, ready to change directions, to find a mission.

I hope you will continue to check in once in awhile, to see what has transpired, as I find a new direction.

Perhaps our paths will meet.

I hope so.

When that happens, let us celebrate our dreams, our differences and our diversity.

Cheers and success to you!


First impressions of an iced tea

For lunch?

I order iced tea.

No sugar.

It is refreshing.

Last Saturday?

How about a Long Island Iced Tea?

Ok. What’s the big deal?
Knocked my socks off.

Sent me twirling and whirling.

A dancing queen.

A total idiot.

And it carried over until Sunday.

Oh the cats.

They were very upset.

Why won’t the Chicken Butt get out of bed?

Well, I finally did, but girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrls, it was painful.

A simple iced tea from Long Island NY invaded my life, rending me useless.

So, after a long, tedious, frenzied day, today, Monday, I considered ordering one.

I didn’t.

But next Monday?

We have declared that on May 1, with Kelly at the helm:

It’s Long Island all the way.

Remind me to ask for next Tuesday off.





Maybe…. in a few years….

Oh no.

It is 7am.

I see Oh Wow is at the door.

Let him in, fed those two goofs and crashed…. back in bed.

Sometimes, Saturdays are for kicking back, sleeping in, and being a goof.

Well, eleven o’clock rolled around, the phone rang, and there I was, hung over.


Oh wow!


2 hours:

Get my ass in gear.

We have a wine party to attend.

And we did.

Great time.

Old friends.

New friends.


And then?

To a hot spot in Hamburg, meeting those unfortunate folks who happened to sit near me.


Nikki and Tom!

And then off to the local bar, where we enjoyed a wonderful  band.
Last dance with Mary J?

Oh yeah!

They nailed it.

Patti and I were spectacular , dancing as fast as we could.

Sneaked out at 8pm.

I resolve on this Saturday night, to grow up and quit being an asshole.


Not just now.

In a few years?


What a fabulous day!


Lost souls in a world gone mad

This past week?

At work?

One of the most challenging of all time.

However, tonight is Friday night, and I decided to let it go.

I stopped to chat with the locals, at the first watering hole I encountered, and never left.

Let me tell you how many people I greeted as they walked into the restaurant.

I flipped my dorie hat to all who dared to pass me by.

It was a blast, and a great night.

Bryan and Chris stayed the course, as we bantered back and forth on the state of the union, among other things.

Ok, so I am scheduled to show up at church, Sunday, at 830.

Oh boy.

You know what?

We all need to connect to the spiritual side of ourselves, to complete our self actualization, and all that jazz.

I rarely have that 3rd double, but in honor of the horrendous past week, it was my pleasure to indulge.

Home early.

I could have danced all night.

However, the last thing I remember is being called a lost soul.


Is that what I am?

Time out everyone.

I am on a mission to find myself.

If you happen to encounter me on the way, can you point me in the direction of the next bar?



Some of us are loose cannons.

Some of us are just plain loose.

And most of us are lost souls.

Welcome to my world.



Is it 4/20 yet?

Happy 4/20.

As you may or may not know, I have unofficially changed my birthday to today.

Reflecting on my pseudo birthday, things happened….

There was a haze in the air.

I ran into Herb at the grocery store.

Several people wished me a happy birthday, wink wink.

A crazed b tender posted a photo of Mary J in costume on facebook.

My hand cream choice of the day:  Hempz.

Tom Petty started his 40th year tour today.

Strangely, a “NO SMOKING” sign appeared on the ladies room door.

I ate a brownie for dessert.

I changed my career path from glue sniffer to weed puller.

I asked Willie Nelson to marry me.

The day went by so fast, in slow motion.

Until tomorrow,