“Hi Minnie, how was lunch with the boss?”
“Good. Very good. Nice. Quite tasty.”
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“Well, Pimp Daddy asked me where I wanted to go and I told him the Cracker Barrel. He was not happy with that choice. He said he needed to go somewhere that had a bar. He wanted a drink. I pulled out my flask and told him no problem, but I wanted to go to the Cracker Barrel. Well, we got to the Barrel, and I went to the gift store while PD got a table. I loaded up on 4 cases of white birch beer, and a chicken that plays the chicken dance, while it is choking its ass off. I told the gal to bring the merchandise to our table.”
“I bet that went over like a lead balloon.”
“Ya, PD asked me if I had developed brain damage since I retired. Like who buys 4 cases of birch beer. I told him to shut the hell up and have a drink. But he was not amused.”
“Nice start, eh?”
“And then we ordered lunch. I ordered a hot fudge sundae for an appetizer. PD spit out his spiked water and gave me the weirdest look. Then I said, I might have an apple dumpling, later, but for lunch, I would like mac and cheese, fried apples, grits and a well done burger, with swiss cheese. PD ordered a ham sandwich and soup.”
“Boring. No imagination whatsoever.”
“I told the waitress it was my birthday, so I could get a free dessert. And a group of waitresses came over and sang to me. One of them smelled booze and asked PD if he was drinking. He denied it, but being the honest woman I am, I fessed up and told her that he had a flask and was boozing.”
“NO!!”
“Yes, I did. And they threw us out. And told PD that it was against the law to bring liquor into the restaurant and he would be black balled. So I demurely asked the girls if that included me, or just the criminal, and they assured me that I would always be welcome. And gave me advice: They said I should not be hanging out with riffraff, and to steer clear of his kind. Of course I thanked them profusely.”
“Oh my God.”
“PD was mad as a wet hen, and he developed a hernia, carrying my birch beer to his car. So he was not one bit talkative on the way back to the home. He dropped me off and mumbled something about never coming back to see me, as long as he lived. And took off.”
“Minnie, you are a pip.”
“Yes, but at least I am not a pimp.”
Wolf