The last weekend of August, 2015

Have you ever had one of those weekends when you took everything in stride?

Lolled around on Saturday morning, until the mood hit?

Got dressed, went shopping and strolled around the market, in a grand funk?

Took the long way home and stopped at a local pub?

Ran into a crazed lunatic who claimed he was the horse whisperer?

When he finally departed, ordered 3 doubles, to get back to normality?

Thawed out the jumbo shrimp and realized it was not jumbo, but gigantic?

And then realized those were not my shrimp?

Who is home tonight, wondering where the hell the shrimp is?

Should I sit on the deck and enjoy these last few days of summer?

Good thing I picked up a case of beer.

It’s hot out there.

Oh no.  I forgot I put a beer in the freezer.

It is frozen.

I popped it open, only to witness a frothy liquid, spilling all over my pajamas.

That’s right.  I didn’t get dressed.

It tastes ok.

I wonder: Does beer get strange when it is frozen?

Or is it only me?

The little league world series is on TV.  Geez, what a wild game.





And it is only the second inning.

I decide to take my frozen concoction and head outside.

The pony next door is sneaking under the fence.

Hey, buddy?  Want a carrot? Or an apple?  Or a frozen beer?

A cricket jumps on my lap.

A brown butterfly lands on my arm.

An orange cat crawls up beside me.

Hey, wait.  I know that cat.

He lives with me.

Excuse me, I live with him.

Such a leisurely weekend.

Can life get better than this?

I doubt it.




Congrats, well done, David beats Goliath in Williamsport, PA



A time to rest.

To gaze into the sky.

And pick out the images in the clouds.

You know what?

I didn’t see a damn thing in the clouds.

Just white fluffy stuff.

Ok, maybe a Pillsbury dough boy.

And a fat one, at that.

So why am I staring into the heavens?

Looking for Mr Good bar?

Actually, I have lived long enough to know there is no Mr. Good bar.

So I poppy topped a beer, and let my imagination soar.

And then out of nowhere, I heard the crowd roar!

The final score:  Pennsy: 3, Texas 2.

You did it, Pennsy.  A small town dream.

You will never forget it.

And neither will I.


Lewisberry Pa is traveling tonight on a high.

And so am I.

Is that you, Lewisberry?  Or is it the clouds in my eye?





The morning pot is ready

Attention:  There is a meeting in the conference room.

Be there.


It must be bad news.

I look around.

Who isn’t here?

Announcement:  He is no longer with us.


So that is the end of the relationship we all had with “him”?

No mention of what, why or how.

Just an outpouring of grief and support.


I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

Did he know it was coming?

And if he did, why didn’t he reach out to us to support him?

I don’t feel good about this.

He was here, with us, for several months, maybe even a few years.

Was this our fault?


Was it my fault?

Did I hear a cry for help?

I want to see him, talk to him, ask him why he didn’t confide in us, to help him succeed.

Wipe the slate clean.

Cover his accounts.

Move on.

Pretend he never worked with us, never supported us when we asked for his help,

And was ever so pleasant when we met.

Is that what it will be like when I will be asked to leave?

Let me say this about that:

Hey, If I don’t measure up,

If I don’t make a difference,

If I need to be removed from my position, for whatever the reason,

I would like to be granted one concession:

Gather my peers, my co workers, and my customers,  have an Irish Wake, and let me announce my demise.

I believe that a departure from the workplace, can be traumatic.

And we all need to know how much we have been appreciated, loved and will be missed, regardless of the situation.

As Neil Young would say, “it is better to burn out than to fade away.”

Let us all have that chance: To meet, to say good luck and to burn the hell out.

Or at least to say good bye.


Not worth reading. I ain’t kidding.

Some days are like this.  I should have stayed home.

Everything I touched turned to gold.

Wink wink.

Just kidding.

Lost a valued coworker.

Pissed off my spouse of almost 30 years.

Answered the call of the wild.

Awuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu  Were wolves of London

Over reacted to a situation, or did I?

Didn’t eat my pickle, at lunch time.

Won $13 on the lottery.  Geez, I am now only $9,398 dollars in the hole.

Decided to apply for that bindery position:

Huh? What position?  The glue sniffing position, of course.

The pony next door is acting up.

He is sneaking out of the gate to eat the flowers, in my yard.

My house is a very very fine house, with a pony in the yard,

It used to be so hard,

Now everything is hosed up, cuz of you.

And doggone it, that pony is smoking all the weed

I hate it when I run out of seed.

Just give me the glue job and I will succeed.

Until then, friend

Remember that tomorrow is another day.

Friday is on the way

I am fried, toasted and half in the bag.

Just call me Ishmael.

Oooops, that was Moby Dick

Frankly my dear,

I don’t give a ……

Tough one, eh?

Nighty night.

Sweet dreams.

Surely you jest.

Nope. I am not gonna say it.

Ok, Just this time.

Don’t call me Shirley.




Hang on Sloopy, sloopy hang on

Humpty Dumpty?

Oh yeah, it’s Wednesday.

And what a Wednesday it was.

From the sublime to the insane

And back again.

How many times did I repeat the phrase:  He/she/it/they drive me to drink and that is why I love them.

Crisis time, all morning.

Hold on, Chicken Butt.

Ride em cowgirl.

Let the good times roll.

You know what?

Customer service is not for the weak of heart, nor for those who need to have the last word.

Insult, injury and injustice?

It’s ok.

It happens.

And when it does, let it.

Think about an experience you may have had:

You are not happy.

Something didn’t go as planned.

You expected more.

You complained.


Oh yeah, It’s all about “and?”

Did you get this

:”Our policy…. blah blah blah…..”


“If you had done x instead of y, you would not have had this problem.”

How about this one:

“We are very busy and do our best, but cannot always deliver.”


“Why didn’t you place your order sooner?  These last minute requests cannot be honored.”

I hesitate to mention the dreaded recorded customer service process.  Press one for …. Press two and so on.

Have we really improved over the years?  For our customers?

Can they reach us when they need help?

Do we communicate when there is a problem?

Or do we wait for a complaint before we take action?

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.

To some:  Customer service is too expensive. Automate it.

To others: Customer service is a value added service.  Pay for it and it will increase your business and bottom line.

When it comes down to me, and my choices:  I only go where I feel welcome, where I feel special, and where I will get more than I expected.

Oh and one more thing:  I go where I get a warm and fuzzy feeling.

In the end, isn’t that what it is all about?

A feeling.

So simple.

Yet so illusive in our high tech, low touch world of today.



What’s it all about?

Have you ever wondered what your life might be like if…..

You knew at an early age what you wanted to be when you grew up?.

Ok, so you never grew up.

So now what?

Sometimes we have to modify our goals.

I have basic needs:  Food, shelter and a place to hang my hat.

It gets lonely, at times, with just me, hanging out in my one room flat, wearing my hat.

So, I move it up a notch.

I get a job, a house and a spouse.

How lovely, for the young at heart.


Oh yeah, I have had a few.


Yup, a few of those too.


Oh my, all the stuff I have in this house.

Can someone please take it all away?

Less is more.

All I want to do is have some fun.

I don’t know why or how we are here.

I often wonder if the planet earth is really the center of the universe.

I really doubt it.

However, I have witnessed amazing things in my life time.

Wondering if it is reality or an illusion.

A hummingbird flutters by and sips the nectar.

2 children, in a red wagon, riding down the street, waving to everyone they see.  Daddy smiling, and in charge.

Planting a seed in the spring that gives life in the fall.

A chance meeting: Love at first sight.

Living for a higher purpose, to be remembered and admired.

Enjoying the company of those who make us feel good.

Loving what we do for a living.

Music: the universal language of the Gods.

Seeking out others,  every day, in every way, to form a bond and friendship, and a helping hand.

There is nothing that can compare to acknowledging those we see on a daily basis.

To let them know that they are important and that they make a difference in our lives.

And that we love them.

But then there are those, who take up a cause larger than themselves.

Devoting their lives to supporting those who support us.

Hey , MCat.  Nice going.

Let freedom ring.

And maybe, just maybe, some day, the world will be at peace.





Hey Jimmy? do you ever eat at the buffet?

Things I noticed today:

Rach: Are those real eye lashes?

Kelly: Is that really a purse?

Karissa: Do you feel guilty when you eat a hot dog?

Pat:  Did Jimmy show up at the buffet?

Beaver:  If you are truly addicted, why only on Fridays?

Chewy:  Geez, I think you just might be cuter than the wizard of Oz.

Erica: The next hurricane?  How appropriate.

Annie:  Oh wait, Annie is dead to me.  Forgettaboutit.

Barb: So tell me: A purple car?  How in the world did you ever find that?

Dana:  Cats and boys: What do they have in common? You can buy them all kinds of stuff, but nothing beats a box.

Deb:  No.  Not you.  I miss you.

Jacy:  Do they? You know the question:  Do they have more fun?

MCat:  Have you ever seen a grown man naked?  Oh wait. I really meant to ask Shirley.  But she told me that she logged into facebook, saw the Chicken Butt dressed as a bee, and MCat flying the flag, and she said:  “MCat told me she would never be on FB and you, you goofy axxhole, what’s with the bee and the naked men?”  I smiled, looked her in the eyes, broke out in song, singing:  “Don’t mess with my tutu.”

And with that, my friends, have a lovely night.

You make every day a hoot.



A vacation with my cat

I believe I have fallen victim to the world today.

I thrive on chaos, motion, entertainment and stress.

My attention span is seriously challenged.

I forgot how to relax.

The weekend weather was exceptionally beautiful so I made a decision to stop the madness.

No TV, no music, no phones, no computer, no books, at least for a day.

Let’s face it:  People go on vacation all the time to escape their daily distractions.

I  took a mini flight from my crazy world.

Up early, and out on the deck with a cup of java.

Looking out on my yard and trees, nothing is moving.

No noise.

An occasional car might drive by.

Or maybe the neighbor riding her horse.

A squirrel runs across the lawn.

A chicken hawk soars overhead.

Butterflies are everywhere.

My mind stops racing.

I soak up the sun.

How very fortunate I am to live here, with a yard that looks like a mini park.

There is nothing but grass and trees as far as the eye can see.

I think about fall colors and leaves falling and decide to fill the deck with red and yellow mums.

My cat decides to join me.

We are basking in the sun, on the deck, in silence.

After all there is no need to talk to your best friend.

The cat and I:  best friends:

Just enjoying the moment, on an easy Sunday morning.






A Fabulous Friday in Pennsylvania


It’s Friday.

The work week has ended, and none too soon.

I would like to address those few people who had the misfortune to deal with me today.

Dana:  I will be in your area tomorrow.  If you see a blue Ford Escape entering your driveway, shoot to kill.

Beaver:  Never let a monkey eat your grape leaves, while riding your dog.

Pat:  I hope you and Jimmy eat at the Buffet tomorrow, in Margaritaville, with Mirianna.  And for goodness sake, have a “happy ending.”

To the anonymous woman who hung up on me, after goring my ox :  Yeah, I did it.  I sent you that charcoal hat 3 times, just to get your goat. So guess what? I am gonna send you another one, just for the hell of it.

Kat:  And how was your week?  Are you thinking of kayaking this weekend?  Or have you had enough abuse for now?

MCat:  No, I won’t mention that Chicken Little knew that sky was falling.  But who knew it would be in Emmaus?

Karissa:  When I left, I saw a whole slew of batch VDPs at status 37.  Tsk Tsk.  Let’s go to Dana’s this weekend, and she will take us out back and shoot us.

Jacy:  I didn’t get to talk to you today.  And for that, I am thankful. hahahahahah.

Ozzie:  FF 2×4.  Need I say more?

Kelly:  Can you arrange a bus trip to paradise?  Oh wait. We are scheduled to be there on Monday at 8am.

Erica:  Quit feeding the office pets. Have you seen how fat Chewy is getting?


See you all Monday……..



Don’t even bother to read this: It is so stupid……

I am the resident doctor.

First patient:  “I have pain in my right quadrant. No wait, it is under my left rib.  Hold it.  I think it is my liver.”

As the renowned doctor, I immediately googled: Where is my liver?

The results?  Your liver, my dear, has been dormant since late December, back in 69. What a lady, what a night.”

Second patient:  “I need to take a break.  My lower back is killing me.”

As the beloved doctor of all time, I put on my best bed side manner, and say:  “Hey lady, lay.  Lay across my big brass bed.”

Third patient: “chocolate.  I need chocolate. Where is your chocolate?”

As the sweetest doctor in the free world, I say:  “Sweet Caroline, good times never seemed so good.”

Fourth patient:  “I shot the sheriff.”

My reply, “But did you shoot the deputy?”

Fifth patient: “I have an identity crisis.”

“Oh who are you?”

“Exactly.  Who are you? Who who who who?”

“I really hate owls.  But on the other hand, there’s a golden band.”

“You know what, Doc? Your home spun remedies suck.  I am wanted dead or alive.”

“May I suggest? Quit riding that steel horse.”

“I would, if only I could catch the tiny dancer in my hand.”

“Sorry, but if you were born on the bayou, you just might be blinded by the light.”

“Can we cut the classic rock BS and do as the young chicken butt once told me:  Life is a highway. I want to ride it all night long.”

“I disagree.  Oh the movie never ends, it goes on and on and on and on.”

“Hey! Hey! My! My! I am the Doc, and I believe in dancing in the rain.”

“Oh yes! I think I know you!  Are you Mary Jane?”

A normal Thursday night, in NE Pennsylvania.

Well, almost.

It was a humid, rainy, stormy night.

Snoopy sat on his dog house in his flying ace outfit.

And dreamed of chasing down a dream.

In that magical moment, he turned into Tom Petty

And fell.