Decided to change my persona depending on what I was doing today.
Blood test: Went as a bear: Coat, hat and attitude.
Liquor store: Shed my bear coat and changed into a white furry coat with a polar bear hat. Where’s the vodka?
Grocery store: No coat, walked in like it was spring. I had to stay away from the frozen food section.
Bar: White coat, chicken hat.
The patrons swore they saw a duck stalking the place.
Guess what? It was just chicken butt.
2nd bar: Chicken again. No one even blinked.
Could it be that I no longer amuse the senses of the public?
I ordered a chicken sandwich and then, on second thought, changed it to a duck ala orange. Huh? Ok make it a meatball sandwich.
Had to turn the car around, in the driveway from hell, in case of snow tomorrow.
Chicken Butt did a lousy job, so I quickly changed into my bear outfit and immediately fell asleep, eating a meatball.
Damn hibernating habits.
Stumbled up the stairs, leaving the bear and chicken to fend for themselves, in the car.
Qickly changed into my one piece, with feet, teletubbie outfit and my hello kitty robe.
I have been diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, with a vitamin D deficiency.
I don’t know where I am, who I am, and what I am.
I wonder how much orange juice I need to drink to be normal again?
I hope it doesn’t snow too much tomorrow, so the bear can drive me and the chicken to the pub, for our daily dose.
And this time, we will take our invisible rabbit with us.
Harvey suffers from the same thing I do.
What? No, not a vitamin D deficiency. He just happens to love screw drivers, with no orange juice, please.