Blimp on the loose

It was an early morning yesterday

I was up before the dawn      (supertramp)

In reality, it was this morning.

230am.

After playing a few computer games, the clock was ticking.

420am.

My favorite time of the day.

Waste Management pickup is in a few hours.

Better not risk oversleeping.

I stayed up, strolled down the driveway, an old bag, half dressed, carrying 2 bags and 3 boxes.

I like my Wednesday morning routine.

Those that know me, realize that bag carrying exhausts me.

To ease my pain and suffering, it is time to head out for Wednesday breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

Eggs in a basket was my fav.

(There are many names for the dish, including “bullseye eggs”, “eggs in a frame”, “egg in a hole”, “eggs in a nest”, “gashouse eggs”, “gashouse special”, “gasthaus eggs”, “hole in one”, “one-eyed Jack”, “one-eyed Pete”, “pirate’s eye”, and “popeye”.^[6

It is no longer on the menu.

Too much prep time.

Really?

I order toast, with 2 eggs on top, hash brown casserole, bacon and grits.

Same damn thing as eggs in a basket, without the hole.

Have I mentioned lately?

I am a genius at work arounds.

I ate too much and turned into a blimp.

As I waddled out of the restaurant, I am reminded of a remark that was made about my fat ass:

Feeling drained from lack of sleep and excessive eating, it is time for me to chalk up another productive day.

After a snack of popcorn and m&ms.

Xoxoooxoxox

Wolf

Booze and Literature

Is it a good idea to write when one is slightly tipsy?

Some think so.

Hemingway, Fitzgerald and the chicken Butt:  all highly regarded as literary geniuses.

Think of a world without “The Sun also rises”, “The old man and the sea”, “A farewell to arms”, “The Great Gatsby” and of course, the Chickn Butt’s  blog, “Bananawolf.”.

I believe that booze stimulates the imagination, let’s us abandon logical thinking and creates the perfect storm for craziness. 

Case in point:  Edgar Allen Poe.

Talking to ravens?

What the hell?

Even Maya Angelou loved her sherry when she wrote.

And Jack Kerouac, traveling around the country, drunk as a skunk, writing “On the Road.” 

Strange how he never got a DUI.

Ok, time for a confession: 

Yes, I had 3 beers today, resulting in an irresistible urge to blog my ass off.

In summary, I leave you with a list of my boozy friends, who share  the dual passion of writing and drinking:

• Stephen King
• Ernest Hemingway
• Edgar Allen Poe
• James Joyce
• Dorothy Parker
• Tennessee Williams
• Dylan Thomas
• F. Scott Fitzgerald
• Charles Bukowski
• Patricia Highsmith
• Hunter S. Thompson
• Raymond Chandler
• Edna St. Vincent Millay
• Truman Capote
• John Cheever
• Eugene O’Neill
• William Faulkner
• E.E. Cummings
• Jack Kerouac
• John Steinbeck
• Jack London
• Sinclair Lewis

Ain’t life grand?

Wolf

I have a secret: Hell will not freeze over today

Here I am, half dressed, thinking about changing into my birthday suit.

Don’t you love a heat wave?

How many times have you heard, “Hot enough for you?”

Or:  “I hear the weekend is going to be even worse.”

Well, there isn’t a whole lot we can do about it, but I am not going to think about the weekend heat.

This naked lady is taking it one day at a time.

At “Skeets” today, a guy from New Jersey was in line and started ranting and raving about plastic bags.

“You couldn’t get away with that in New Jersey.  No plastic.  You Pennsylvanians better keep up with world issues.

Naturally, I had to rub it in, with the cashiers.

“Hey, you 2:  It’s all your fault.  There is only room for one bag in here, and I am it.”

Had a wild craving for grits from Cracker Barrel. 

No one orders just grits.

How about eggs, toast, hash browns, coffee and bacon?  And don’t forget the grits.

Oink oink.

I waddled out and hurried home to start peeling…..my clothes, that is.

First my top.

Then my shoes.

There go the shorts.

This is ridiculous.

As the Raspberries once sang, “Let’s go all the way.”

That song got banned back in the 70s.

Comparing it with today’s lyrics?  Well, you know what I mean.

As you know, I am highly courageous. 

I just might put on my bloomers and grab a few cold ones later.

Why not?

I love going to bars, and asking people, “Hot enough for you?”

Wolf

Summertime and the living is crazy

Whew!!!

Summer is alive, with pool parties, dive bars, bands, and crazy friends.

A drunkard’s dream, if I ever did see one.

It’s no wonder I haven’t received my “official” birth certificate in the mail:  They assumed I must have croaked with my ridiculously wild life style.

Vacation?  I don’t need it.  Enjoying the perfect summer weather in Pennsylvania.

I received a lovely bouquet of sunflowers from my squirrely friend, when he proposed to me. 

I should have accepted.  I wonder what his wife would think!!!

Ran into the 3 amigos from the highly successful masonry company.  They start everyday with a few shots of whiskey and several beers.  Amazing how they manage to get up on roofs to fix chimneys.  The owner/leader is a jukebox fanatic, who sings and dances his way though the early happy hour. One of his workers is a spitting image to Mick Fleetwood, who rarely says a word.  The other is a kid, who says he is damaged goods, after a breakup with his domineering girlfriend.  I asked him how he likes his job.  He loves it. Who wouldn’t?  I think they have had one job in the past week, so they burn out the days boozing.

Don’t you love the misfits, the characters, and the goofs you meet along the way?

I have yet to meet a person I didn’t like.

Enjoy the sizzling summer everyone!!

Until next time,

Xooxoxoxox

Wolf

Showing my banana

Long lines.

Crowded.

Waiting in the crowd, to pay for coffee and a banana.

What kind of banana do you prefer?

I go for the green.

No ripe bananas for me.

Too mushy.

Waiting in line the guy next to me says:

“Wow!  How long are you going to have to wait for that banana to ripen?”

Me:  “I only like green bananas.”

Guy:  “You don’t like them ripe?”

Me:  “No, take it from me, I was born before bananas even existed. The green are the best.”

Guy:  “I have been telling my daughter she needs to eat bananas for the potassium.”

Me:  “I know how she feels.  I hate the taste of bananas.  But, being the health freak that I am, I chomp one down every day.”

Guy:  “Do you chomp down those mallow cups you are buying, for health reasons?”

Me:  “You know what?  I like you.  You are a smartass, just like me.”

Guy laughs.

I end the conversation:  “What’s your name, who’s your daddy?”

Xoxooxxoxoxoox

Wolf