Phil: Hope or hopeless?

“Yikes, Minnie.  I froze my keister off going shopping today.”

“Keister?  Where did you come up with that word?”

“I happen to have a phenomenal vocabulary.  But that’s not the point.  I drove through hell to get to the store.”

“What?  The roads are clear.”

“Nope.  There was blowing and drifting and tigers, oh my!”

“I hope it was worth it.  Did you bother to check the weather report for tomorrow and Monday?”

“I don’t have to check it.  I am waiting for Phil to let me know what’s going on.”

“Phil who?”

“Philip Groundhog. He set his alarm for Monday morning, as he does every year, and will pop out of his hole, to stun the world with his prediction.”

“Oh that goofy thing.  He won’t be seeing his shadow this year, and everyone will be delighted that we will have an early spring, as we are buried in snow and ice.”

“Phil gives up hope, Minnie.  And right now, we need that.  At least I do.  I want my keister  to warm up.  You don’t know what it’s like to go through life with a frozen hind end.”

“Relax, Wolf.  You should thaw out by March.  But considering the size of your back side, it could be April.”

“Why did you ask me if I checked the weather forecast?  Is something happening?”

“Not much.  But I doubt if Phil will pop out of his hole on Monday.”

“Why not?”

“His keister will be frozen.”



What is it that I love about you?

Hello Friday!

What is it that I love about you?

I guess it is anticipation.

Or it is relief?

Perhaps freedom?

Or just knowing that I made it another week?

I like to look back on my work week, and reflect on what I did or did not accomplish.

I ate a cookie today.  The first cookie in 6 weeks.  I can honestly say it was not worth the 100 calories.

It was the last week of the month of January, a week that continued with its anxiety and sadness for me and for my friends.  Not the best start to a new year.

I celebrated many accomplishments during this past week.  Oh not what I did. What the production teams did.  I work with so many dedicated people, who always come through.  And I doubt that whatever I say,  can not truly express how much I appreciate and admire them.

In spite of the cold, snowy weather, I ventured out and endured the elements.  Facing one’s fears is a good thing.

In the dead of winter, I found that a smile and a crazy attitude, warms the heart.

And I believe the secret to success in the customer service world is no longer a secret.  Listening is the key. Anyone can hear, but few can truly listen.

It is important, I believe, to live in the moment. But also, to step back at the end of the week and think about what you have accomplished.

The last week in January, 2015:  What did you do to make a difference?





Comfort in the workplace

Something just didn’t feel right today.

I would have preferred to stay under the covers, at 5am and not face the bitterly cold morning.

Only a few blocks from home, a fawn had been hit by a car.  I felt sad.

Pat was quiet.  I didn’t even need to tell her to shut up.  She is worried about her sister’s health.

Beaver was crying.  Her beloved cat is dying.

Rachel left in tears, before 8am.  I gave her a hug and told her I love her.

Cheryl is trying to be brave, while her husband is undergoing chemotherapy.

I went off my diet and ordered 2 chili dogs.  Comfort food seemed the thing to do.

Reached out for help on my job, which I rarely do, and felt guilty that I had to escalate problems.  Not my style.

Felt a burning need for exercise, so I moved files out to the warehouse.  A mindless job, but one that gets me up and moving.

The roofers never showed up today.  I didn’t even bother to call them.  I just didn’t want more bad news.

Heard the weather report:  More snow and below zero temps on the way.  Oh whoopee.

Opened the last email of the day,  A humdinger.  Lots of work to be done in an unreasonable time frame.

But you know what?  That email was just what I needed.  Tomorrow I will go to work and figure out how to do it.

There is something about an unreasonable request that gets my blood stirring, and my mind whirring.

I will find a way.

Actually, I am looking forward to it.

I think it might even be better than comfort food.




Poking the bear on hump day.

Hump day quotes:


I need an intervention.

My pastor cancelled church this week.  Mother of God, watch out for me tomorrow.

Hey, crazy cart lady!

Do not, I repeat, do not poke the bear.

Hello?  This is the police department calling.  (Oh no, now what did I do?)

Give me a double.  Make it two.

Go ahead. Say it.  Say shut up Pat.  Ok. Shut up, Pat!

Gran was prepped for surgery.  They decided to postpone it for 2 weeks. Gran got dressed, and guess what? She is going to bingo tonight.

There’s way too much color in that pdf. Ridiculous!  And you know what? My son’s coach scheduled a basketball game on Super Bowl Sunday.  And, by the way, I could really go for a hot dog.

Hey, baseball, need anything?  Yeah, a hot dog.

I need to find a job where I can take my dog to work.

That’s it!  No more ordering lunch.  My jeans are too tight.  Naw, it’s a winter thing.  All jeans shrink in the winter.

Speaking of jeans, now that we can wear them this week, I think every day is Friday. @5@%@%5@!  It is only hump day!

The bear is now “pokable”….. to a point.

That fragrance?  What is it?  Someone is smoking pot in here.


Hump away!



Super storm

“Well, I see you survived the great blizzard of 2015, Wolf.”

“Yeah, it was tough, but I did it.”

“How in the world did you get to work the day after the storm?”

“I braved the elements, Minnie, bit the bullet and drove through the mountains of snow, fearless and determined, not to let Mother Nature rain on my parade.”

“Just how much snow did we get, anyway?”

“Nevermind, Minnie.  It was forecasted:  1 to 16 inches. And we fell in that range.”

“Did we hit the upper range?”

“Not exactly.  We were slightly under 16 inches.”

“A foot?”

“No, not quite a foot.”


“Does that really matter, Minnie?  If you recall, I sacrificed my Sunday, loading up with bread and milk at the grocery store.  It was brutal, fighting for that last loaf.  Thankfully, the liquor store was open on Sunday, so I stocked up on essentials.  I packed my pjs and toothbrush and booked a room at the local hotel, just in case I could not make it home.  I was the ultimate junior blue bird, always prepared.”

“Hmm.  Come on, Wolf.  Just how much snow did we get?”

“It snowed all day, Minnie.  You know if it snows all day, it adds up.”

“To what?”

“To a miserable day, anticipating the super storm.  But, all that hype gave our economy a boost, while exacerbating our ulcers and scaring the living daylight out of most of us.  But as they say, most of us worry about stuff that never happens.”

“How much snow, Wolf?”

“Slightly over the lower end of the forecast.  Maybe an inch and a half?”

“Oh for crazy!  And you call that a super storm?”

“No.  I call it the best damn storm I have ever experienced.”



Everyone eats bread in a storm

All righty now:  A winter storm warning is in your area, for today and tomorrow.

Did you get to the store?  If not, the bread and milk are gone.

What do you mean you don’t eat bread?  Everyone eats bread, in a storm.

Could you concentrate on your job today?  Or did you even bother to show up?  Remember: Forecasters are never wrong.

Did you find yourself cursing your existence in the Northland?  And seriously consider a move to Florida or Arizona?  But you can’t go, because you are snowed in?

Do you long for a trip to New York City?   Well, forget it.  The city that never sleeps is sleeping.  And probably will be for several days. I wonder if the naked cowboy is still naked today.

In Boston, the snow balls are deflating.  And they can’t park their cars…. at least not on the streets.

Philly flyers fans?  Forget about flying.  Flights are cancelled.

Think Chicago is the windy city?  You haven’t been to Warwick, RI, lately, have you?

Talked to some friends in Wisconsin today.  They haven’t had much snow.  They sent their condolences, with a sigh of relief, that they don’t live in the North East.

Had to wear boots today.  I found a grizzled pair of boots that must have belonged to Frankenstein.  I looked hot in them.  Hey!  At least they didn’t leak.

Customers wanted to know if we would be working tomorrow.  None of those customers lived east of the Mason Dixon line.

Where ever you live, Mother Nature kicks ass from time to time.

You can’t do much about it.  Oh, yeah, they say:  Prepare for the worst.  Get a generator, a fire place and a snow blower.  And don’t forget the batteries.

At least I have the batteries.






Penguin hat and cougar coat

A normal Sunday?

Got up early.  Geez. The snow is still there.  What the hell?

Drank too much coffee.  Shake, shake, shake, senora.

Hungry as a bear.  Ate a bowl of cereal.  Kashi.  Awful stuff.

Peeked out the front door.  Yup.  Car is loaded with snow.

Found an old pair of klunker boots and headed out.

It was, dare I say it, warmish?  I must be crazy thinking 38 degrees is warmish.

Decided to make a trek to the grocery store.  What a mad house.

Not one empty cart left in the store.  And those that had them, were playing bumper cars.  Panic in the eyes of the shoppers, no smiles.

Well, I got a few smiles, when they noticed my penguin hat and cougar coat.

Checked out:   $80.95.  Hey, I have a gift card from my co workers.  Total bill:   $.95.  Thanks, everyone!

Felt somewhat stressed, after that wild zoo.

Had to stop for a double to calm my nerves.

Got home, baked stuffed peppers and got in my jammies.

Heard the weather report:  A possibility of snow, anywhere from one inch to 16 inches.  Now, what the hell kind of forecast is that?

Thinking of having some wine:  A strong probability of one glass to 16 glasses.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!





Crazed and idiotic

“Did you learn anything this week, Wolf?”

“As they say, Minnie, one is never too old to learn. Of course I did.”

“Ok, so name 10 things you learned.”

“First,  never believe it when the forecast is for 2 inches of snow.  How about 8?  And if 8 inches had been predicted,  the storm would have taken a path out to sea, and we would not see a flake.”

“Next:  100% cotton paper stock is outrageously expensive.  If I received a letter on that paper, would it matter if it was 100% cotton or not?  Besides, who gets letters these days?”

“Number 3:  A slice of pizza can be a taste of heaven, especially, after dieting.”

“4:  When you observe a raucous, outspoken, irreverent team, in the work place, you can be sure there is trust and love.”

“Moving on to number 5:  Always have something special to look forward to.  In May, MCat and I will be on our way to a vacation in the Northland.  Hey, Minnesota, are you ready for us?”

“Now, number 6:  A cat in heat is curiously affectionate.  Well, Ok, not so curious.”

“Number 7:  Never schedule a roofing replacement in January.  Good luck, guys, more snow on Monday.”

“8:  If your job is considered overhead, you better produce, to justify your existence.  And give credit and thanks to the production crew.”

” 2 to go:  Number 9:  Take risks.  Accept responsibility.  Go for it.  If things work out, great.  If not, well, who knows?  Depends on how much you screwed up.”

“And finally, number 10:  Do something ridiculous every day and make others laugh.  It’s a lot of fun, and it will either identify you as an idiot, or a crazed individual,  and who can resist an incurably crazed idiot?”



Butt cracks and quinoa

Quotes of the week:

“It’s gonna snow tomorrow. I am taking an early lunch, to get booze and cat food.”

“What is it they say in Minnesota? Uf Da?  What the hell does that mean?”

“How can you talk to him when his butt crack is showing?”

“Your license plate:  It starts with JSD.  Perfect!  Just Some Drunk!”

“You are withering down to nothing.”  “No, I was just a fat ass.”

“Cost centers, profit centers and overhead:  Thank goodness for our sales reps.   Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

“WWJD?”  (translation:  what would Jasmine do?)  Take that sign down, Pat.  Jasmine has 15 days left before she leaves for Florida, and forgets she ever worked here.”

“OK.  We need to be a positive influence in the work place.  Instead of saying “I quit”, let’s just say the bus is leaving and I am on it.”

“Hey! I heard Pat whispering to Candis.  She is bringing the morale down.  I hate it when they whisper.  Whispering brings my morale down.  How come Pat never whispers to me?”

“Why did you screw up?”  Uhm,  because I am an idiot?”

“Do you need help?”  “No, well, actually, a piece of Liz’s fudge might help.”

“Is it spring yet?”  “You really are an idiot, aren’t you?”

“How do you pronounce quinoa?  And what the hell is it?”







I’ll always remember you as a child, girl.

Oh baby, baby, it’s a wild world.  It’s  hard to get by on just a smile.

But smile, I did.

One thing after another.

I saw stress in those who normally are cool cats, even MCat.

Stress, triggered by that fine line that defines failure over success, winning over losing, or finding a common ground, that satisfies expectations, cemented in the final exchange, with a smile.

So many agendas, each one with its own desired outcome.

It’s so much easier to stand your ground, to rely on old and tired traditions, to get into the battle, and put your own interests above all others.

But it is the art of negotiation, of compromise and the willingness to look beyond the obvious, that separates excellence from mediocrity.

You have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them…..

It’s been said:  “Don’t take it personally”, but our egos and our beliefs can, and often, get in the way of finding a common ground and a solution to a seemingly overwhelming situation.

Yes, baby, it is a wild world.  And there are those nagging problems, every day, that surface, leading us to arch our backs and put up our dukes, and take on those who do not see our point of view.

Let me tell you:  It ain’t worth it.  When you put yourself and your pride,  above the needs of others,  you just might find yourself some day, without others.

At the end of this wild day, as I look back, it was very successful.  Values were not compromised, and solutions were found. And I ended the day on a smile.