mind games

My head hurts.

Ever try writing when you have a miserable headache?

Hey brain!

Wake up.

I need to put the pain management training to the test.

Can I remember what it was all about?

I know it was about 25 years ago, in the hospital.

I waited around for the pain pill.

Nope.

Not gonna happen.

Pain management doesn’t believe in popping pills.

Focus your mind on something other than the pain.

Mind control.

Ok, I am focusing on a handful of chocolate covered peanuts and eating them.

Gone.

Not the pain, the candy.

Now what?

Exercise, get active, do something physical.

I tried, but I can’t. I have a headache.

Oh well, it’s just a headache.

I probably won’t die from it.

But one never knows, does one?

That’s it.

I give up.

I am done for the day.

Time to get in my pajamas and watch a spooky Halloween movie, munching on nachos.

I love having an excuse to be a lazy bum.

Until tomorrow,

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Wolf

An unlikely cynic

Let’s pretend the past 8 months never happened.

We can just start all over again, staying at home, eating everything in sight, and going nuts.

Looking into my crystal ball, I foresee more shut downs.

Restaurants and bars are doomed, with the exception of take out service.

No hanging out in large crowds, small crowds, or with anyone other than the people you live with.

Only those who work and are essential will be allowed to go outside, without getting fined or arrested. I wonder what happens to those arrested. Do they get a private room at the local jail? Or do they get time off for not getting into fights?

We can be thankful that sometime in the next year or two, a vaccine will be available, well, sort of. No one knows who will be first in line for the vaccines, nor if there will enough to go around.

At least for Christmas, we have a new standard stocking stuffer, for all of our distant friends: Masks. Looks like for the near and far future, masks will prevail.

If you do happen to get Covid, and become very ill, there could be a shortage of hospital beds. Guess what? Young people, come on in. You oldies? Sorry folks, Wally World is closed.

Normally, I have a positive, upbeat attitude.

However, with the continuing surge of illness and the craziness of politics, I have turned into a cynical village idiot.

One lingering question: Why would anyone, in their right mind, want to be president of the United States? You would have to be nuts to want that job.
Forget the question. I think I answered it.

Xoxooxxoxoxoxoxo

Wolf

Life in 2020

Predictions and other nonsense heard on the street:

The Pandemic is going away, after the election. It’s nothing but a political hoax.

The squirrels are fatter than blimps, indicating that it will be a cold winter.

Eat Thanksgiving dinner outside. It will be fun.

Oh boy, I can’t wait: daylight savings is next weekend.

I am so popular. You should see all the mail I am getting about Medicare.

I found the perfect dress to wear to a wedding, and a lovely mask to match.

Are the roast beef sandwiches at Arby’s really meat?

I had no idea that Gatorade was made from alligators.

The extended car warranty people are so friendly.

How do you know f you are infectious with the virus?

Gee! Those spotted lantern flies are so pretty.

Xooxoxxoxoxoxo

Wolf

It’s up to us.

There are times when all the world’s asleep and passions run so deep, for such a simple man.

Today was a simple day, with temperatures and leaves falling, reminding us that we will soon be entering the 4th and final season of the year.

Soon to come: the election.

Ok, so I watched the debate. Did you?

It was not exciting.

It did not change my mind nor my opinion of either candidate.

The early mail in voting forced me to decide, prior to the 2nd debate.

Hey guys! You missed the opportunity to change my mind, and now the die is cast.

So be it.

It will be a welcome relief, whatever the outcome, to put aside politics, allowing us to focus on trying to maintain our sanity in this world of Covidity.

Time to bring on the heartache, once again.

How long this time?

Let’s ask Ace, the group, who sang, “How long has this been going on?”

Until we get it right.

Hey, my fellow Americans: What the hell? Let’s do it. Time to get our lives back.

It’s up to us, you and me.

We have met the enemy and it is us.

I want to live. I want to give.

Let’s be miners for a heart of gold.

Be safe, stay healthy, and stay focused and determined to whoop the virus’ ass.

Wolf

Are you ready for tonight?

Is tonight the last dance between Trump and Biden?

Will it be a dance of the sugar plum fairies or a dance of death?

So many predictions floating around, making my head spin, and wearing down my immunity level, so much so, that I now have a sore throat and cough.

If this is the big one for me, I hope my next life is one without politics.

I thought my eye sight was askew this morning, looking out the window: I could not see the trees. Yikes!! A new symptom has emerged! Nope. Just the fog settling in to make the new day gentler and softer.

I hope the old boys talk about solutions and plans tonight, instead of petty grievances, like “nobody likes me” or “Send in a few bucks please, so we can bore you with the same ads over the next 12 days.”

Isn’t it ridiculous that a mute button had to be added to the mix of the debate? 2 grown men yelling and screaming at one another, while the American people wonder if either is fit to be the president. What happened to decency, respect and courtesy? Now the boys will have to be forced to take time outs, for bad behavior. It’s their punishment for being obnoxious and rude.

It’s been said that as we age, we acquire grace and wisdom. Oh really?

With the wild ride of the Covid streaking though our country, please be safe, stay healthy, and choose to find humor and happiness in this crazy world.


Wolf

Lisa and the rabbit

What is the best way to catch a rabbit?

A pet rabbit, that is.

Escaped from its coop.

Someone, who shall remain nameless, left the door open.

The bunny can run about 30 miles per hour, and if you are chasing him, he will speed up, as he thinks of humans as predators.

Let’s get creative: How about this: A juicy little trail of the rabibit’s favorite treats, leading to the door of the coop.

Or this: Remember the Run Rabbit Run song?
Starts out like this: On the farm, every Friday
On the farm, it’s rabbit pie day. Run rabbit run!

If the rabbit is smart, he will catch on, and decide to hang out in the coop instead of being baked in a pie with 4 and 20 blackbirds.

I prefer the simple way: Sit in the yard, drinking a beer and eating a carrot. When the rabbit approaches, ask him, “What’s up Doc?” He might take the bait. Don’t be surprised if he passes on the carrot and goes for the beer. It’s been well known that many rabbits are alcoholics.

Or you can just let the rabbit have his freedom. Let’s face it, if he hangs out eating all day in the coop, he will blow up like a balloon and become fierce and demanding. Don’t you hate a bossy rabbit?

Letting him run free is the humane thing to do. Unless you have fox or coyotes. But I won’t get into that.

Please send your comments and recommendations to Lisa’s Rabbit Farm. Please hurry. Lisa works all day and then has to run home to chase rabbits. Poor thing is exhausted.

On her birthday, I think I will surprise her with a fur coat. Wink wink…. You know what I mean.

Wolf

And you wonder why I drink

Have you ever agreed to babysit?

Not a child, but a dog and a cat?

I did.

The dog and I had a lovely time, until I got sleepy and stretched out on the couch.

Oh no you don’t. Not without me, said the dog.

70 pounds of solid dog decided to flop down on me, as I lay snoozing.

Then? Enter the cat, who landed on my head, to continue the torment.

Ouch! My legs went numb. My head?

Prickly razors emerged from the innocent, sweet little 8 pound kitty.

Somehow I managed to free my legs from the dog, which spooked the cat, and I felt like I was once again, in control.

No way!

Never underestimate the determination and resolve of the animal kingdom to take charge.



Several hours later, I was curled up in a fetal position, wondering if I would ever get out of this alive.

Should I call animal control?

Or 911?

What would I say?

Hello, 911?

This is an emergency.

A dog flopped on me and a cat sat on my head,

I am totally disabled.

The response?

Hey, you idiot! Don’t ever call here again. It sounds like you have been drinking.

And that is when I became a drunk.

Cheers!

Let me know if you need a pet sitter!

By the way, beer is good, but vodka is better.

Xoxooxoxox

Wolf

It’s back!!!!!!

They say the presidential race is too close to call, so it seemed like a good idea to have a town hall. But 2 town halls? At the same time? What a year, eh?

I am half crazy from this political stuff, so I bit the bullet, and mailed in my vote today. It is one small voice, from rural Pennsylvania, but it is my vote and I am proud of it.

A streak of sensibility hit me yesterday and I behaved. I am getting bad vibes about the virus with the spikes across the globe. A grim warning: Dos and don’ts:

Do: wear the mask, maintain distancing, wash hands, and do everything outside.

What? Eat outside? Yes, the latest advice is to bundle up and eat Thanksgiving dinner outside.

Don’t: Go to bars, indoor anything, and avoid large gatherings, even at home.

Confusion exists in my pea brain. Does this mean we are looking at another lock down? And to make matters worse, the virus is now predicted to last for years. I wonder if I should order a few hundred more masks.

There is a boat buying frenzy in this country. Millions out of work, but the boats are flying off the shelves. Does hanging out in a boat make you more safe? Isn’t it just another form of confinement? My advice: If you live in Minnesota, don’t expect to float your boat in any of those 10,000 lakes. At least not for the winter.

Frost on the pumpkins tonight. A 3 dog night, for sure.

Be safe, stay healthy, and don’t forget to vote!!

Wolf

An American privilege: voting

Mid October: Time to get a flu shot. Not everyone feels good about the flu shot. Some say it is not effective; it is not based on the current strain. Or, even that the flu shot is dangerous and you could get the flu after getting it. You can’t, by the way. I get one every year. Do I still get the flu? Sometimes. But over the years, I feel it has been effective for me. To each his own, eh?

Sissy met me for lunch before she went home to take care of George, the wonder dog. I told her I would come over later. I didn’t. Davey came in, then Chris, Bryan, and Josh. As you might suspect, once I get started, well, I am in no hurry to leave the boys.

Hearing from the princess made me feel good: She is having a much better week, at her new job. Miracles do happen and are alive and well in Pennsylvania.

After making my trek down the driveway for Waste Mgt, I had a wild craving for eggs and grits. How do you like your grits? I like mine with butter, salt and pepper. Yum! And that’s not all: biscuits, gravy, bacon and hashbrowns accompanied the feast. Oink oink.

I am taking some time today to decide on next year’s medical and prescription plans. There are so many options that it drives me nuts, so I usually stay with my current selections, unless, like the year, the prescription plan I have is horrible. Now to find the one for me.

And I am voting today!!

Hope you all are voting this year! It is one of our most precious privileges.

Be safe, stay healthy, and choose to focus on your happiness!

Wolf

Get up and do it again

Dismal, cold and rainy day.

You know what they say: Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Not so today.

On my way, early to Cracker Barrel. A 3 hour delay.

What?

Oh yeah, it is Columbus day.

Well, guess what?

Hello Dunkin.

Not to be distressed, my girls were working.

The Lovely Lisa and the phenomenal Pam: Oh yeah. I could spend the rest of my life hanging with the “no filter” girls.

About 3pm or so, I noticed a few a few of the old boys club converging on the scene.

It was the start of a very interesting afternoon.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer.

Phil, Davey, Bryan, Chris, Pat, Ray, Liz and Todd.

The cutest reindeer ever.

After a rollicking time, it was time to go home, before I got cut off, or worse:

Black balled.

Yes, I missed Darin, but I got to see that cutey wooty Corey.

Life is good.

I am bad.

And that, my friends, is what I love about my dysfunctional life.

I hope you had a wonderful day.

Stay safe, healthy, and enjoy life: after all, life is meant to be enjoyed.

Tomorrow? As Jackson Browne sings: We’ll get up and do it again.

Xooxoxoxooxo

Wolf