There’s something in the air

Call out the instigator:  The revolution’s here.

Watched the news last night and decided the world is moving too fast for me.

It’s difficult to keep up with all the issues.

Drives me crazy.

Naturally, none of it is in my control, so I retreated back to my little bubble and decided what I want to do today.

1.  I am not watching any news programs.
2. I am 70% sure I will get dressed.
3. The raspberry/custard pie was calling my name, so I ate 2 slices for breakfast.
4. Looking at a ripe banana and am 20% sure I will eat it later.
5. 100% sure I am not going to the grocery store.
6. As the day goes on, forget that 70% on getting dressed.
7. It’s a cloudy, chilly, dreary day so I will meet up later for a few drinks with my buds, to cheer them up.

Even my world is moving too fast.

If I am going to meet my friends, that means I have to get dressed.

I hate it when I have my day planned so carefully, and then, before I am through with the list, the damn thing is changing, upsetting my apple cart.

To hell with the list.

I am gonna eat my banana, while I watch the news, before I get dressed and head out to the grocery store.

Spontaneity is the key to happiness.

Just thinking about it, brought the sun out for a few minutes.

Happy Saturday, everyone!!!

Wolf

I am the village idiot

Embarrassing moments, I’ve had a few.

Like the night I was dancing and my blonde wig fell off.

I wonder why no one asked me to dance after that.

Running late one morning, threw on my slacks and did not notice my panty hose were still  in the pants.

Well, they were dragging behind me all the way to work.

Worst part:  I didn’t notice until late in the day.

And my coworkers were in stitches and  never mentioned it. 

I had to answer the phones constantly when I worked. I picked up my banana and answered the “phone”.

That’s when everyone knew I was either drunk or crazy…. Or both.

Jim and I were staying at a hotel and the phone rang:  Jim answered.  I asked him who the heck was that?

He said:  Mrs. McGullicuddy.  She is sick and can’t work today.

What the hell?

Yeah, I told her:  that’s ok hon, take the rest of the week off.

I forgot that I had 3 boyfriend who were going to meet me after work.

They all showed up.

Never did see those guys after that.

Hell, I didn’t really like them anyway.

There are more, but those are for another time.

Good night everyone!!

Xoxoxooxo

Wolf

Dodging bullets

Bon fire cancelled.

No one told me.

I was dressed like a bear to keep warm.

Fur hoody coat, turtle neck sweater and a lamb hat with ears that flopped.

Met the gang for a drink before the bonfire and they told:  “It’s been cancelled because of the weather.”

They claim they tried to call me, but I didn’t answer my phone.

I rarely do, after years of working the phones in customer service.

Besides, most of my calls are spam, trying to get me signed up for a Medicare Advantage plan.

My advice to you fellow medicare friends: Do NOT get an advantage plan.

Medigap (supplement) is much better.  No bills, no co-pay, everything covered.

I got hot with that damn bear coat on.

It’s hunting season and I had to duck the bullets on my way down to the bar.

I am getting a sign printed to pin on my coat:  “I am not a bear nor am I a duck.  I am a chicken butt.”

A doggone gorgeous one, at that.

I am waiting for a call back from the oil guy.

Why do I wait until the last drop drips?

Guess I better turn on my phone, or I will freeze my ass feathers off later this week.

I have absolutely no social events this week.

Isn’t that special?

Time to prepare a costume for Halloween.

Let’s see:  I have been Miss Piggy, Elvira, a marijuana plant, a horse, an angry bird, a skeleton and a bumble bee.

I think I will be Kim K this year. 

At least I have the butt for it.

Or I could go as myself.

That would be the scariest costume ever.

Have a fabulous week!!

Xoooxoxoxox

Wolf

Now what?

Wow!

So many friends wanting to move to florida.

According to a recent poll, the majority of Americans want to move to the west coast of Florida.

So I checked out the prices of homes.

Looks like I am prices out of that market.

While my buddies are sweating to the oldies, in Naples or Sarasota, I might move back to Minnesota.

Below zero temps and long winters, with snow and ice suits me better.

If only the winters weren’t so doggone long.

But I do miss the big lake, the laid back attitude, my relatives , and walleye pike.

However, Pennsylvania is probably the best of both worlds.

Not as severe winters or summers, gorgeous autumn foliage and the spring?  My favorite: When everything comes alive in all its splendor.

Choices.

We all have them.

What is important and essential?

For me, it is to be happy.

And, I am happy now.

I wonder if I have the “grass is greener” syndrome.

Snow?  Sun?  Oceans?  Lakes?

Time will tell.

Wolf

Anti social old introvert

Beets and sweet potatoes and wine, Oh My!!

Birthday bash for Sissy tonight.

Stopped at “Skeetz” for a forbidden donut and coffee and ran into my little friend Jess, one of the cashiers.

“Where have you been Jess?”

“Sick.”

Oh?  Pregnant?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Well, hurry up.  I want to be the God Mother.

Another regular was there, and he said:  “I can tell you are not behaving.”

What is it that makes people think that?

I am an introverted, old, non-sociable beast.

Well, I am old.

The flag boys were back on the local roads.

I see them so often, I am thinking about asking them to be my friend on facebook, so I can tell them to hurry it the #%#@%@#% up.

Busy weekend coming up:  Specs for lunch on Friday, birthday dinner on Saturday and bon fire on Sunday at Dustin’s.

I love being productive.

Voting on November 2^nd: 

Time for me to check out who is running, but something else caught my eye.

A question on legalization of MJ. 

I am not going to say how I will vote, but I am not voting NO.

We have “stink” bugs in PA.

I see one who is visiting me now, singing: 

Buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as I come, cuz I cant stay long.

Wishing everyone a very happy Thursday!!

Xoxoxoxxooxoxo

Wolf

Must be Flag Day today

5 turkeys on the road which was being paved.

Waited for the flag and then the turkeys.

Thought I would be late for my appointment to get the car inspected.

But I was on time, settled in with coffee and treats and a book.

5 minutes and the service mgr comes out:  Uhm, your car is not due for inspection until January.

Huh?

But I just got my registration renewed.

That has nothing to do with the inspection.

OK

Packed up my stuff and sure enough, the turkeys and the flag man were there.

Took a detour and guess what?  More road construction.

Decided to find a strawberry rhubarb pie for Sissy’s birthday. 

Her favorite.

The Amish bakery!!

Yes!

Strawberry rhubarb crumb pie.

Time to “find” her gift.

6 boxes in the basement, unopened.

Hers was in one of the boxes, hopefully.

5 opened.

No gift.

Finally, box number 6 was a winner.

Went to “Skeetz” for gas, popcorn and soda.

The checkout line was halfway to New Jersey.

Drove to Sissy’s to deliver her gift and pie.

Had a cold brew and waited for her to find George’s ball.

Hmmmm.  It’s been a day of delays, everywhere I turned.

I drove home behind a farmer on his tractor and a school bus.

I finally got home at 4pm.

My new resolution:  I am not going anywhere until the road crews leave the area.

Most likely, I should be out of here by Christmas.

Wolf

I have a lump

After 3 cancellations, I finally kept my doctor appointment.

It’s always a doozy.

Check in:  Hey, girl, you have to wear a mask.

This is a mask.  I am usually crabby as hell, but I am pretending to be in great shape:  happy and healthy and all that kind of stuff.  You know, the great pretender. 

Nice try.  Put on the mask.

Next:  After the nurse gets through with the essentials, she tells me my blood pressure is beautiful.

I smile.

She can’t tell;  I am wearing the mask.

Next?  Flu Shot time.

Anything else?

Yeah, I have a lump.

What do you mean?

Look!  It is on my left hand. 

I will get the doctor to look at it.

Doc bounces in.

I can see him taking a quick glance at me, to see if I am one of those who likes hanging out at dr offices and hospitals.  

I try to get the doctor ruffled.

I say:  Gee it’s gonna be 80 today.

He says:  What?  It’s your birthday?

No, the temperature.  Not me.

We laugh.

He takes a look at the lump.

How long has this been going on?

I say:  I didn’t know you were a fan of “Ace” ( The group who sang that song.)

He looks at me like I just might have a lump on my brain.

He writes a referral for a “hand” doctor.

And a prescription for blood work, and is asking me if I am taking all my meds, when I change the subject and ask him if he is looking forward to winter.

He is not a fan.

And he doesn’t want to live in Florida.

And he is tired of driving in the snow.

And would like to stay home.

But today is Friday, so he is happy that the weekend is right around the corner.

The nurse returns with paper work, and I bitch about the “hand” doctor’s location, half way around the world.

The girls at the desk frantically try to find another location.

Finally, I am ready to go down to the lab for blood work.

I tell the nurse:  You don’t look like the photo on your badge.

She takes off her mask.

I tell her she is far more beautiful than her photo.

She is very gentle with the needle.

Flattery will get you a loving needle.

Can’t wait to get the heck out of there, and into my breakfast café for raisin bread French toast and bacon.

What a lovely morning.

Looking forward to my next appointment, in March. 

I wonder how many times I will cancel that one.

Wolf

The government and abortion

Taking a stand on abortions?

Pro life or Pro choice?

I was raised Catholic, when birth control was banned.

The priest asked me: Do you intend on taking birth control pills once you are married?

Yes.

Sorry, but I can’t marry you under those circumstances.

A few weeks later, he was back:  Sorry, but I should not have asked you that question.

What changed?

H said:  That is a matter of personal choice.

As the world turned, birth control issues were ok, but abortion was not.

Personal choice was out of the question.

Today the government is establishing limits on abortion.

What makes them the ultimate decision maker?

Who made them the official guardians of our personal choices?

The choice does not belong in the legislature.

Is this country willing to allow elected officials to dictate their political mandates on the personal beliefs of our citizens?

Get the hell out of our private lives.

Stop eroding our freedom.

Take a good look in the mirror.

Fix the partisan fighting, putting politics before human rights. 

Have the decency to allow or citizens the right to decide what is best for them.

Wolf