Happy Birthday Carol

A childhood memory:  I am not the fortunate son, as the song goes, but I am the fortunate one.

All because of Carol.

She was my brother Pete’s girlfriend.

But I believed she was mine.

Pete worked on a freighter on Lake Superior, so he was “away” much of the time.

Carol decided to hang out with me.

I stayed overnight, and had ice cream for breakfast.

She loved Johnny Mathis, so she took me to the movies to see him. 

We listened to his albums when we had our sleepovers.

We did crazy things together.

On Halloween, we dressed up and went to Margie, my sister’s house.

Margie said;  “Aren’t you two a little old to be trick or treating?”

She didn’t recognize us.

Now what?

Carol said, “Let’s go the back door,”

Margie said:  “Weren’t you two just at the front door?”

We laughed and laughed.

Margie knew our laughs.

We went to a Doc Severson concert.

When he left the venue for the airport, Carol drove to the airport.

There he was.

He walked by us.

I said: “Hello Doc.”

He smiled.

I guess he knew we were his best fans.

When Pete and Carol got married, I was asked to be the Junior Bridesmaid.

I had a green dress just like the Senior Bridesmaid.

I thought I was the bomb.

I had to go pp,  and forgot I had a bow and tie on the back of my dress.

Carol pinned it up. 

Yes, I really was the bomb.

We went to hockey games, baseball games, and had sleepovers.

Yes, and ice cream for breakfast.

When she got married, we shared the same first and last name.

I called her at work one day and the receptionist said, “Who’s calling?”

I gave her my name.

She said:  “Oh you silly goof, calling yourself.”

Carol was my idol.

She still is.

Today is her birthday.

I hope she has a fabulous day, with her daughter Catherine, and son, Peter.

2 great kids, so blessed to have a wonderful mom.

I hope they had ice cream for breakfast.

I did.

Wolf

Life goes on

Twenty two days.

Finally over.

Until next time.

Interesting?

Went to Urgent Care.

What do I have?

Doesn’t matter, no need to test for Covid. 

It’s all the same.

I am old and at risk.

Surviving  just fine, thank you.

It’s cold and wintry.

Duh.

Got dressed after a pj weekend,  with a hankering for Italian food.

Ms. Rabbit stopped by for a few cherries in her J. Beam, with a splash of vermouth, while I shmoozed with the poor SOBs who happened to stop by for lunch or drinks.

Feeling like I might live to see another day or two, and if I do, I plan to enjoy every crazy minute.

Life is terminal.

If you don’t believe it, look back on the past10/20/30 years. 

Where the hell did they go?

Am I still 25?

Why do my knees hurt?

Please don’t ask me to do steps.

I have too much stuff.

Does anyone want it?

Where will I be in 10 years?

Wait… what about next week?

N Hampshire voting tonight.

Aren’t there any young people who want to be dictator, aka president?

My brother has been missing for the past 15 years.

He says our family is dysfunctional. 

Really?

I miss Minnesota. 

I lie.

I miss my sister, my nieces and nephews and the 40 below temps

I want to live, I want to give, I’ve been a miner for a hear of gold.

Did you know Neil Young never liked that song?

Jan 23, 2024.

Ain’t life grand?

Xoxooxoxox

Wolf

A viral Christmas

This %@#%@% virus.

Wouldn’t you know,  it started 7 days before Christmas and is continuing on its jolly path.

My little air freshener tree keeps things festive, and the coughing is my constant companion, as I remain sleepless in Pennsylvania.

At least I was home to watch the final episode of Survivor.

I did, but…. Fell asleep for 20 minutes.  Yup, missed seeing who won.

Oh well,it was a ho hum year for Survivor anyway.

Decided to get dressed one day.

Got as far as the car.

Felt awful, difficult to breathe, coughing incessantly, so it was back to bed again.

After 5 days of isolation, ventured out for a few hours, to exchange Christmas greetings, and regretted it the next day.

2 lovely invitations for the holiday, and am pushing myself to attend.

I feel like my crazy old reindeer hat. 

His antlers fell off yesterday;   coughing spell.

Merry Christmas to all!

Stay safe and healthy!!

Xoxoxoxooxxo

Wolf

Is today Wednesday?

Geez, I’m old.

Yes, me, the one who says:  “I hope I never get old”, while I am already ancient.

Living beyond an expiration date is a hazardous condition.

For example, last week, I had several old timers’ moments, the most frequent?  wondering what day of the week it is.

Not that it matters, on most days.

But I do have a few appointments that I put on my calendar and set an alarm, so I wake up in time.

I forgot what the alarm sounded like, heard bells chiming, and thought I must be entering the pearly gates.

I went from room to room, checking for santa or that disgusting red elf, but…..nothing..

Picked up my phone and Eureka!  The alarm!!

No more early appointments for me.

The ultimate giveaway that I am quickly deteriorating, is my ability to have a few cocktails with no lasting effects.

Two.  Yes, two glasses of wine.

The next day?  Wiped out.  The most productive thing I did was nap.  Of course, I got up to eat a few snacks, which added to my exhaustion,  before going right back into the napping mode.

You know what?  That wine thing could be a fluke.

I am giving it one more chance.    Maybe tonight.

Wait! What day is it today?  Is the bar open?

See what I mean.

Xooxoxoxoxox

Wolf

Cross road

As a plucked chicken, I spent most of my life on the side of the road.

Was it time to cross?

Should I stay where I am?

Am I moving up?

Or moving out?

Surely, everyone was watching.

Waiting for my decision.

I contacted my friends.

Here are the responses.

Hey, Chicky, do whatever.

Cross the road, if that’s what you want.

Actually, I never really thought about it.

Are you still fretting about crossing over?

Don’t ask me, I don’t trust plucked chickens.

So I stayed on the side of the road.

It felt good to be safe.

I chose security over adventure.

The coyote congratulated me as he ate me.

Mr coyote crossed the road and got hit by a car.

Died on the spot.

The memorial was brief:  The chicken chose not to cross the road.

End of story.

Wolf

Yes, we have no donuts

On my way to Dunkin.

Geez!  Where are all the cars?

Ordered coffee and a donut.

“We have no donuts.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No”

“Ok, so were the cops here or what? Did they eat all of them?         

No response.

“What do you have that is sweet?”

“We have muffins.”

“OK, blueberry, please.”

“We don’t have any blueberry.”

“What do you have?”

“We have one muffin, and it is chocolate chip.”

“I don’t like those, so forgettabout it.”

“So  you want the coffee?”

“No, not without a donut.”

“We are out of donuts.”

“OK, so I will take the chocolate chip muffin.”

“Too late.  It’s gone.”

“So am I.”

True story.

Xoxooxxoo

Wolf

Why I dislike Doctor appointments

Doc appt tomorrow.

Got a message:  Get your blood test before you arrive for your appt.

Oh Oh.

I check the internet.

What time is the lab open?

7am.

OK.

Mentioned to a friend:  I am going to K town for blood work.

Friend:  Did you know they moved the lab?

No.

I check the website.

Nope.  No mention of that.

Called the health network.

They said:  “Really?”
Oh hold, while they check with the Dr’s office.

Yup.

Moved.

Uhm, I believe the web page needs to be updated.

OK, in the meantime, I go to urgent care.

They have the lab open today.

Nurse:  Hmmmm…  I don’t have any order for you to get bloodwork.

She calls the Dr’s office and gets put on hold for 12 minutes.

Meanwhile, I start coughing. 

And can’t stop.

The nurse goes round and round with the Dr. office about the procedure to allow me to get the test.

The coughing gets worse.

Should I get the heck out of here?

Or continue to listen to the red tape, while I cough myself to death?

They finally decide:

She can draw, but she can’t send the blood out until she gets an order.

So she draws, blood , that is.

I hightail it out.

Wouldn’t you know, the coughing stops?

 I am hungry as a bear.

I go to Dunkin and get the wrong order, and cold coffee.

I order a hoagie at the pizza shop. 

Italian sounds good, but I am not a fan of ham, so I ask for one without ham.

I get the hoagie.

It is loaded with ham.

The cook is summoned.

Nope, that is not ham, it is salami.

Now, let’s face it, it is no secret that I was not born yesterday, and after watching forensic files every night, I have gained a few detective skills.

And that so called salami is not salami.

It is ham.

Liar, liar pants on fire.

Going to stay home the rest of the evening.

There is a loose bear around the neighborhood, and with my luck today, he would find me and eat me along with the ham I threw out.

What’s the matter with you girl?

Oh where oh where has the butterfly gone?

Did she morph into a bar fly?

Has anyone seen her?

Friends were contacted.

Their comments:

I don’t know where the hell she is.  She is goofy.  She mentioned something about trying to pass the bar.

No, I haven’t seen her.  I am not happy with her.  I call her, she doesn’t answer her phone.  I text her, she ignores it.  I leave a message on voice mail, or try to.  Forget about that: her voice mail is full.

Wait a minute.  She is pretty darn old.  I think she finally croaked. 

Who?  Or you mean that ridiculously loud, laughing hyena who talks to every stranger at the bar?  She hasn’t been around. I think she may be blackballed for being a pia.

Yeah, I spotted her this morning, flirting with the guys at Sheetz, so I asked her where the hell she has been.  She tried to respond, but was violently coughing.  I think she said something about Covid.

I saw her on Wednesday, in her driveway, wearing a robe and carrying 2 bags of trash for waste mgt.  She looked frightful, fatigued and fat.

She came into the urgent care this past week.  She has a fever, sore throat and is coughing.  I sent her home.  The nerve of her, coming in here sick.

The mystery of the missing village idiot is solved.

I heard her sing, as she walked and coughed, out of sight.

Once, twice, three times infected (Lionel Richie) 

 Still kicking, but damn it, Covid, you better take care, if I find you creeping round my back stair.  (Gordon Lightfoot)

I’m coming to the end of the line. (Traveling Willburys)

Wolf

Beware of crimson blips

Another HHH day in September

No big storms coming.

Oh yeah?

A tiny blip on radar indicated a small but mighty force hovering over this area.

Blip’s colors were brilliant:  Crimson, with deep purple.  Rare, indeed.

And it was accompanied by a light and sound show, reminiscent of a rock concert.

Trees toppled.

Wires snapped.

The skies opened with tropical rain and hail.

130pm.

No power, no wifi, no cable.

Nap time?

I tried, but it was too quiet.

So, at 330pm, I decided to survey the damage in the neighborhood, while attempting to finally become a lawyer and pass the bar.

I didn’t.

Pass the bar, that is.

2 glasses of white wine, good conversation with locals, and I was back home.

What a long night.

Sleep evaded me.

I usually sleep to the soothing voice of the Forensic Files guy. 

He was silent, of course, and this old house creaked and moaned.

I guess the house missed him too.

It is now 4am.

I ate most of my treats:  popcorn, pretzels, cheese, ding dongs and ice cream.

Oh yeah, and for my weakened immune system and loss of brain cells, I drank a quart of Smart Water.  No, I don’t feel a bit smarter.

More rain coming today.

I need to find my old radio, and turn that on, to finally get some sleep.

If that doesn’t work, I think today might be the day that I finally pass the bar.

But don’t count on it.

Wolf

August replay in poetry….bad poetry

August 2023.

The hornets are agitated, and here’s the deal

I sprayed their opening with black flex seal.

She couldn’t wait for Monday, her day off from work

But she forgot, went to work, and felt like a jerk.

I started my detox and gave up drinking.

My friends ask me:  What were you thinking?

The neighbor’s dog is a yellow lab named Lily.

She visits George, eats his food, steals his toys and acts very silly

The political scene is getting crazier each day

Can’t we move out of the past and find a new way

It is a new way of life, to begin to learn how

To take time just for me, to live in the now.

Wolf