Too soon to tell

3 degrees this morning, but I am not complaining.

It was -27 in my hometown in Minnesota.

Strangely, I didn’t leave the Northland because of the weather, but having lived in somewhat balmier conditions makes me not want to live through another below zero winter.

The forecast for this weekend is “iffy”.  Supposedly a NorEaster is approaching and will bring heavy snow and strong winds. 

Or is it?

Too soon to tell, they say:  (They being the meteorologists)

Ok, so the storm is due tomorrow.

Why did they even mention the damn blizzard for the last 7 days?

No wonder the stress level is approaching madness. 

First, a blizzard was going to wipe us out, and then? 

It could miss us or just lightly snow, or blast us off the planet.

There isn’t a whole lot we can do about it anyway.

I guess we could go grocery shopping and load up on eggs, milk and bread, but chances are, the store shelves are empty.

I never do load up on those things anyway.

I prefer nuts, cookies, wine, raisin bread, and popcorn.

Let’s cross our fingers and hope that whatever happens, we can get out on Sunday to head down to the bar to watch the football playoffs.

Who will win?

It is too soon to tell.

Wolf

Life is a hoot

In the past week, I have encountered 10 new experiences.

1.  A cocktail party at 2am, in a hotel room for 4 pajama clad friends.

• I now have a soul mate.

• Met prince Harry at a local sports bar.

• Watched Brady and Rogers “graciously” leave the NFL finals.

• Steered Ms Sissy Belle out of the furnace room, into the bathroom, twice in one night.

• Unknowingly locked my car in low gear and turned into the village idiot at the dealership.

• Found a box of forgotten ornaments 3 weeks after Christmas.

• Slept with George.  On the couch.  At Patti’s.  George is her dog.

• I ordered Yak Traks.  They arrived, 3 days, after the ice storm.
• 3 cats are stalking me.  On the front deck, staring at me through the window. I had a talk with them:  “Hey boys, I can barely take care of myself, so you better high tail it back to the barn next door.”

Wolf

The Self proclaimed idiot

I have approximately 5000 miles on my car.

It should be running pretty darn good.

Right?

Well, the other freezing day, I decided to get a donut and cup of coffee before taking off on a trip to the poconos.

And the car went nuts.

Remember Sammy Haggar?  I can’t drive 55?

I could not driver over 25.

The thingamajig kept going nuts. 

RPMs, I think.

I called the dealer and went on a rant.

I am usually not so obnoxious, but… wait… yes, I am.

Today, the whole service team was waiting for me as I drove up.

The Mgr opened the garage door, and checked out the car’s mileage and all that jazz.

I figured I would sit down with my phone and water and found out the water bottle was frozen.

If the transmission was shot, I knew I would be here for 2-3 days, so I knew the water would be ok to drink by then.

10 minutes later, the young service guy approached me and my frozen water, and said:  “Can you follow me to your car?  I want to show you something.”

Someone, who shall remain nameless, must have hit the LOCK button, to keep the car in 4 wheel drive.

After releasing that L button, the car was fine.

“Can you take me out back and shoot me”?, I asked.

In the car’s defense, I have bestowed an honor on the idiot driver:  I am a certified nincompoop.

Have I mentioned?

I love creating a scene at the car dealership.

Wolf

Support your local drinking establishment

I’m not sure if I am confused, old or have brain fog.

Probably all 3 of the above.

I think I caught the ‘mild” covid.

I guess mild means I did not end up in the hospital.

It certainly is hanging on, however.

I would not call it mild.

Sneezing, stuffed up, coughing, sore throat.

Hey, wait a minute!

That sounds like a cold.

Or maybe the flu.

I listened to the advice of the CDC.

Quarantine for 5 days.

Done.

Still have the symptoms, but the CDC said it’s ok.

Or they said it was ok.

Now, 7 days, and a test are needed.

Try to find a test around here.

What the heck am I supposed to do if I do find a test?

This mild virus is supposedly gone and I should be feeling chipper as hell.

Actually, this mild version is lasting longer than the severe covid I had in Feb 2019. 

Let’s say I find a test.

I test positive.

Now what?

Quarantine again?

I absolutely refuse another quarantine.

The bars around here would go out of business.

Wolf

What’s with the small hole?

In a blink of an eye, winter arrived.

Below freezing all day:  Great time to settle in, to watch a good movie.

However, a truck had an accident near by and wiped out the cable fibers for this area.

No movie.

No internet.

Off I went, to the newly opened Dunkin, in my neighborhood.

I drove through, but could not find the “ordering” spot.

2^nd try:  There it was.  A tiny little sign that said: Order here, by a small  hole.

What the hell?

Why hide the ordering hole?

Especially for old folks like me:  blind as a bat and twice as rabid.

I had to break down and turn on my phone, in order to have contact with the rest of the world.

Did anyone call me?

Heck no.

The next time I hear this same old tune, “Why don’t you turn your phone on?”, I will tell them about today.

The one time I turned it on and no one called.

Lunch time:  Black Cherry Yogurt.

Too bad it is frozen solid.

I wonder who put it in the freezer?

Damn idiot.

I love a day that is filled with surprises.

It grounds me.

Or something like that.

Makes me wiser and more gorgeous.

I am looking forward to meeting the Monday night crowd, where I can be the wise ass nincompoop that I have become.

Moral of the story?

Never give up on self actualization.

I am living proof that anything is possible.

Xoxoxoxoxoxxo

Wolf

Paranormal Activity

Is it really 2022?

I sat down to write a check and could not remember the year.

I think I am going cuckoo.

When I was a kid, working as a Bell Telephone Operator, old people would call and ask:  “What’s the date today?”  and then, “What’s the year?”

Guess what?

I get it now.

Today, I decided to take a drive to “skeets” for coffee and I lost my key fob.

I remember using it to open the car door when I got in.

I think that was today.

I mean, how else could I get inside the car?

Did I drop it?

Here I go again, looking under the seats, in the back seats and finally outside.

Nope.

I checked my handbag.

Nope.

Time to check again.

Same routine, same results.

Time to think logically.

I  had the damn key fob when I left the house.

It has to be here, somewhere.

I was ready to call 911 to take me to the rest home, when I took everything out of my handbag.

And there it was.

Now, who put it there?

It wasn’t’ there a few minutes ago.

I must have a haunted car.

I am home now.

And am staying here.

I refuse to take that haunted key fob anywhere else today.

Besides, I am still under the weather from the flu/cold/covid or whatever the hell it is.

Just one more question:  What day is it today?

Happy New Year!

Wolf