Acronyms and Axx holes

Oh no.  It’s 5 oclock.  AM.

What the heck is AM?  After morning?

And PM?  Post morning?

And then there is BC.

Before Christ?

And AC?

Wait.  Isn’t that something electrical?

Like alternate current?

OK.  So Edison was wrong.

There is AC and there is DC and at weddings, there are DJs.

And did you know?

The AC/DC drummer is having issues?

Then, when I communicate on line, I tend to talk in code.



And all that crazy stuff.

Then, at work, we are told we need to make sure we meet our customers’ SLA

And bill the PFS.

I leave at 5pm, post morning, I guess,

And head out on the highway, looking for adventure,

In whatever way I can.

Home at last:




Oh who cares?

I am in my PJs

Texting my BFFs

And acting like an SOB.

Oh how I love being an AH.

(you thought I meant asshole, didn’t you?)



Awesome Hole.

Ok, so that is a stretch.

But then, at the end of the day, this day, July 30th, 2015. it’s 98 degrees.

We turn on the AC and toast to Karissa!

Thanks for the NYFRB:

(Not your father’s root beer)

It’s sweet and it’s neat and it makes me want to tweet,

I am out of here, kids.

I won’t BRB

This AH is heading out to her new deck

To toast to Karissa

Hey! Do you remember?  Your President Nixon?

Do you remember? The bills you have to pay?

Or even root beer floats?






Did you say what you really wanted to say today?

What I really wanted to say today:

“Hey, Barb! Good to see you, but you don’t look like you feel very well. Is it 2nd opinion time?”

“Karissa?  That walrus?  It is really a beaver in drag?”

“MCat? If I were you, I would keep those glasses.  Why go for a new pair? Sometimes it is better to see half assed.  It stimulates the imagination and besides, most people look a lot better in a fuzzy purple haze.”

“Pat?  So you had a bad day? Huh?  You had a good day?  Huh?  Hey Pat, Shut the hell up.”

“Erica?  Why is it that you seem far too satisfied, now that you have Chewy and Ozzie as your bffs?”

“Dana?  What do you mean, I should stop drinking Jameson in the office?”

“Beav?  Congrats on quitting smoking.  I only hope when you are old enough to retire, you will reconsider and join me in Oregon.”

“Annie?  Oh wait, Annie is dead to me and all other frequent visitors of facebook.”

“Lisa?  Stephanie?  Eugene?  Gary?  Jeff?  Kathy?  Jasmarie?   Carol? Titu?  Or is it Titi? Or Tofu?  I love it when I hear Lisa on the intercom.  I know the kitting crew is alive and well, and taking care of all of us.”

“Hey Ron and Phil and Luis and Kyle and Alex, and John, and John, and John and John, and John: Oh wait.  Then there is Angus.  Oops. Agnes.  And Chris.  And let us not forget Luis and Barb and Ahmed and Tom and Missy and Cindy and …. Oh wait…. there is now eye candy in bindery.”

“And to all of you, who crossed my path today, thank you, for making today another memorable day.”

“And for tomorrow? Thursday, July 30, 2015?  It’s bound to be a spectacular day.”

“What?  You don’t believe it?  Guess what?  It will be, but it’s up to you.”

“And to me, of course.”

“Life is like that, you know.  It’s what we believe it will be.”





Happy Birthday Mick






Can we all agree on one thing?

There is nothing like a Mickey Mouse band aid.

A paper cut can really hose up your day.

Hey hey hey!

What you say?

I can’t get no….

Oh let’s not go there.

Yeah, Mick, you are now 72.

What the heck happened to you?

I wonder sometimes, what makes you tick

Are you still trying to be the bad ass, Mick?

No one believes the Stones will survive.

Hell we wonder why Keith’s still alive.

Or is he?

And when you are 73, what then, my friend?

The Stones will ultimately see the end.

Until that happens, may I ask you one thing?

Was it worth it?

Were you rough enough?

Were you tough enough?

Were you rich enough?

And were you loved enough?

And at the final hour, will you take your reputation, your money and your fame with you?

You might.

But I doubt it.

You see, my friend, in the final end, you will fade away

And your fans will say:

I met a gin soaked bar room queen in Memphis

And they will rock on.

Oh well, it’s only rock and roll, but I like it.



This is all there is, and that is what life is all about.


Yes, it was.

Did you?


Enjoy it?

Well, now, can you rephrase?

Monday: Did it live up to its reputation?

It did, at 5am this morning, but it gradually subsided, as I lived through the day.

What made it better?




I see you have a repetitive problem.

Or do you stutter?

Or just get fixated on an idea?

Yes, yes, and yes.

And further more, thanks to the people, Monday was a breeze.

So now you are facing Tuesday

Supposedly the most productive day of the week.

Oh yeah.

A day to enjoy?

Aren’t they all?

Even at 5am?

Can we move past the early morning, when we awake from the cool comfort of the womb?

Womb?  You have not seen the womb for over 60 years.

So?  Does that make it any less desirable?

Have you seen me, in my darkest days, curled up in the fetal position, calling for my mother, who has passed on to another world?

And what does she say?

Hey, girl, don’t give up.  It’s just another manic Monday.

Do you miss her?

Yes, of course.

I would give anything to talk to her once again.

But, Wolf, she has moved on.

She lives with the angels.


She moved on.

And I am still here.


So now what?

I am a motherless orphan.

I have to figure out this life for myself.

But you know what?

I don’t think I ever will.

So now what?

Like I said:  Today was Monday.

Tomorrow is Tuesday.

Life is still going on…. for some of us.

I doubt that we will ever find our purpose.

Oh?  Not even you?

Can I tell you a secret?

I have already found the purpose.

And ?

And, it is today was Monday, and tomorrow is Tuesday, and we are here, on this earth, for today and tomorrow.  And that is all there is.

Do you really believe that, Wolf?

I do.

So let’s get ready for Tuesday, the most productive day of the work week, and give it hell.

And if we are fortunate, we might live until Wednesday.

And if we don’t?

Then it’s your time.

Time for what?

Your number is up.

Your life is over.

The candle blew out in the wind.

You are toast, history, and your legacy is all that is left.

But I want to kiss the blarney stone, climb the great wall of China and see the naked cowboy in NYC.

However, I am in my pajamas, in Pennsylvania, on a Monday night and I would love a cold beer.

So go out on your new deck and enjoy your little bubble of a life:  the trees, the flowers, the 2 cats in the yard, while you reflect on your Monday.

And give thanks for another day of living.



Easy like Sunday Jameson

Sitting on my new deck.


Coffee isn’t cutting it.

Ok, it’s Sunday.  How about a beer or two?

After 3, no more cold beer.

Hey there!  Jameson.  How the hell are you?

It is getting mighty hot out here, but that is good for my psoriasis.

Very healthy, sitting out here, in the sun, but Jameson is kicking my ass.

And it is only noon.

Ok, let’s open a bottle of wine.

And watch my psoriasis disappear.

Or better yet, I might disappear.

Nothing much happening in the neighborhood.

Very quiet out here in the boonies.

Yikes! What’s that?

Oh yeah, a car drove by.

Who let the bees out?

And the flies?

Get the hell away from my wine.

Have to go inside to take off my robe.

And refill my glass.

The sun decided to shine on my parade.

Am I the only idiot who sits on a deck in 90 degree weather, drinking a bottle of wine

To purge my psoriasis?

Who really cares?

Does anyone know what time it is?

Does anyone really care?

I walk inside, to change the linens on the bed, to do the dishes in the sink

and to fold the clothes in the dryer.

And I think to myself,

I see trees of green, red roses too

I love my new deck, and so would you.

It’s a glorious sunny day

Let’s enjoy it in every way.

A toast to all  my friends, as I head back to the deck

Have a wonderful weekend.

After all what the heck?

Summer is slowly fading away.

So, let’s all get outside and enjoy the day.

Ta ta,



Hasta la Vista

Au Revoir


Auf Wiedersehen


Out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

I knew in a moment, I was now the mad hatter.

Alice in wonderland

Tinker and Peter

The cat in the hat

All this and all that.

Time for me to head on out

To my new deck, to twist and shout

Bye bye birdie, bye bye Ms American Pie

Life is a hoot

Don’t let it pass you by.







Read this only if you are dead or an old hippie

Hot stuff, that’s what I am.

I eat my spinach and I’m chicken butt the sailor man

Oops wrong gender.

I’m chicken butt the sailor woman.

I yam what I yam and that’s all that I yam.

And I see dead people.

Hey Hey My MY,

Rock and roll will never die.

What happened to you, Jim Morrison?

I still listen to your songs, but as you aged, the songs got raunchy.

How many died because they couldn’t live life as it is?

Or did life intervene to keep your memories young and alive?

Elvis: Yup, left the building.

Whitney: Such a beauty.

Janis:  Are you and Bobby free at last?

Jimi?  The greatest guitarist in history?

Joe Cocker?  John Lenin?  Buddy Holly?  The Big Bopper?

Jerry Garcia?

Well, at least Ben and Jerry still honor you.

Davey Jones?

Rick Nelson?

John Denver?

Keith Richards?


There is no truth to the rumor that Keith is alive or dead.

However, the last I heard, he was writing books for children.

My My, hey hey!

No one is ever here to stay.

It’s out of the blue, into the black

Enjoy today, for there is no coming back.

It’s better to burn out than to fade away.

My my hey hey!



Gina: That cup cake feels like the first time…..

Let me say this, in one word, about those who crossed my path today, in one way or another….

Aggie: Feisty.   What that means?  Get me the hell out of here. I want to go home.

Erica:  Frosty:  Real meaning?  Crackers don’t attract critters.  And who threw Snoopy under the bus?  Uhm?  The wasp?

MCat:  Skeptical. According to the company provided tracking, where the hell is your order?  It sure as hell ain’t where it is tracking.

Pat:  Cynical:  How can you say what you do, do what you say and get away with so much nonsense?  And do you really think that men wear pants with little elephants embedded in their shorts?

Miranda:  Hysterical:  No way, no way did you say the horse was in the barn.  Or did you?

Kelly:  Aloof:  Smell?  What smell?  And why did we have to change to a self flushing system?

Jacy:  Sexy:  I am woman, hear me roar.

Gary:  Dubious:  I flushed and it worked for me, so what’s the problem?

Gina:  Hedonistic:  This has to be the best cup cake I have ever had.

Ozzie and Chewy:  Ravenous:  Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Chicken Butt:  numb:  Ok, but who can argue with comfortably numb?

Until Monday…..





Thoughts on a summer’s day in July 2015

A Thursday in July, 2015

Grab a cup of coffee, jump in the shower and head off to work.

Stop at the local market for 2 dozen doughnuts, to bring into the office.

Such a gorgeous day.

85 degrees, sunny, low humidity.  A spectacular summer day.

Work load is constant, but not wild.

Gives me time to do more than put out fires.

Made recommendations to improve the bottom line for my customers.

Felt good about that, when my customers took my ideas and made them their own.

Checked on my coworkers, team mates, to see if they needed any help.

Shared a delicious pizza with my buds, Beav and MCat.

The girls in the print center were gushing over the new guy, eye candy.

Of course, I had to check it out.

Of course, they are right.

Finished another book by Mary Higgins Clark.

After a dozen of her books, I have one left.

Ran into O.Liz.  The amazing O. Liz, the human energizer rabbit, who never gives up.  My thoughts and best wishes, for her Mom’s recovery.

Met some old friends after work, for dinner.

We had a blast, laughing and reminiscing and philosophizing.

There is nothing that can match the easy feeling of getting together with old friends.

You can say what you think, act crazy, laugh, be yourself and feel accepted.

Back home, just as the sun is going down.

Cats are fed, coffee is ready for the morning, and I am relaxing in my pjs, thinking about today, this Thursday, July 23, 2015.

What a great day and a great way to enjoy life.





Weeeeee Weeeee Weeeee

Whacked out Wednesday?

Wild and wooly?

Oui oui oui, or is it wee wee wee, all the way home?

What would you do if I sang out of tune?

What would you give me for a basket of kisses?

I planted a seed today.

Was it a good seed?

Or a bad seed?

Shut up, Rhoda.

2 red chairs, and a table

On the new deck

Is anyone following this?

If you are, welcome to my world,

Won’t you come on in

The little red wheel barrow


so much depends

a red wheel

glazed with rain

beside the white

William Carlos Williams

Ok, so, how was your day, friend?

Does anybody really know what time it is?

Hey, girl, it is half past seven.

I need to oui oui.

In my car, I drive until I have to make a choice:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Way too many potholes, sink holes and ass holes

Hey baby!

You can’t start a fire without a spark.

Ok, Tommy,

Give it to me straight

Quit working on a mystery

Get to the point:

Let’s roll another joint
Let’s head on down the road
To somewhere I gotta go

After all, I have to wee wee wee,  now that I’m home.



Imagine all the cats, living for today

It was a long day, this Tuesday.

All that was missing was the 3rd H: Hail.

The heat and humidity soared.

As I was leaving work, I stopped for a quickie.

And then I ventured home.

Here comes the rain.

Stepped out of the car, and tried to open the front door.

Ooooops!  It was locked.

Where is my key?

I am soaked.

I run up the grassy hill to the deck in the back.

Ooops, door locked.

I am soaked.

And I mean soaked.

Knock, knock.

It’s me, the chicken butt, looking like a pitiful plucked chicken.

The cat came to the door.

And smiled that evil smile.

Where is my key?

By now, the rain has picked up.

I can’t see.

Water is pouring off of my head.

I find my cell phone.

Who can I call?

Logic takes over.

Go back to my car

Wait for the rain to subside

I look up and see the cat in the window, looking at me.

Is he smiling?

Well, that son of a B

The rain stops

I find my key

I walk in

The cat walks out

I am soaked

He is dry

I ask myself:

How in the hell does this happen?

Who is really in control around here?

Who owns who?  Or is it whom?

I change into dry clothes, as I curse the cat

And vow to show him I am in charge.

4 hours later, I am pacing the floor

I am waiting for his highness to show up and roar.

It’s no wonder I am tired as I drive off to work

The cat stayed out all night, that crazy jerk.

Can I imagine a world without that cat?

You can say that I’m a dreamer

But I’m not the only one.

The cat’s in the cradle and the silver spoon

Little boy blue and the man in the moon

So, you live in a very,very, nice house

With 2 cats in the yard

Life used to be so hard

Now everything is easy….. cuz of you.

(just fooling)

But I do love you, Half Pint!