The blizzard of February 27

How are we going to survive?

2 or3 inches on its way.

Really? 

Is this a major event?

Rather than dwell on the impending disaster, the bar crowd braved the elements, gathered around our safe haven, and got hammered.

We shared our secrets, updated our living wills, and ordered our last meal.

Tragic news:  Trivia was cancelled due to the freakish forecast.

Weather alert:  Don’t go out tonight, it’s about to take your life, there’s a bad moon on the rise.

Wee Willie Winkie hightailed it home before the blizzard, Mark had 3 beers instead of his usual 2, Dustin mentioned that we are only getting a “dusting”, Sharon and Bob kissed everyone in sight, the bar ran out of wine so Sam had to leave, Gina and Glenn wished that they had purchased the house in balmy West Virginia, and I?  Well, I shocked everyone when I abandoned my introverted act and turned into the asshole that I really am.

When it was time to leave, I drove slowly over the treacherous roads, arriving safely, after a harrowing experience.

In retrospect.

My tranparent/tranlsucent/See through nightie

Apologies just ain’t what they used to be.

Remember when we used to say:  “I’m sorry”  or “I apologize.”

Now it’s “My bad.”

I cringe when I hear that ridiculous phrase.

How about this:  “it is what it is.”

Overused, trite and annoying.

Or the comment:  “I know, right?”?

Is that a question or a statement?

What about the guy who talks about “the wife?”

Guess she has no name; must be related to that horse in the desert.

Moving right along, what’s with the word “transparent?”

The dictionary meaning?

Allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen.

Frequently heard:  “The best companies, government, or people need to be transparent.”

Isn’t that the same thing as being open and honest?

I think of translucency when someone uses that word, conjuring up the image of a ghost in a see through sheet.

Have I mentioned lately?

I love going on a rant.

For now, I think I will change into my transparent nightie, If you think that is outrageous, so sad, my bad.

After all, it is what it is, right?

And being the former “wife”, I am headed out to Arizona to ride my no name horse.

Xoxoooxoxo

Wolf

living the dream in a freezer

The ongoing saga of the furnace.

Ok, so I need maintenance.

The kid shows up, says everything looks good, but….

You need copper pipes.

Yeah, ok.

So Bill shows up and I can hear the saws humming, and hopefully, everything is hunky dory.

Nope.

The valves need replacing, and the water has a leak.

Meanwhile, I am either freezing or hotsy totsy.

A few days later, the valves are installed.

That night the temp climbed to a balmy 62 degrees.

Leg warmers, winter jacket, robe, and a warm hat got me through the night.

Morning?

63 degrees.

Oh a heat wave.

Dustin to the rescue.

Your furnace is running constantly, but ….

The new valve was not turned on.

No water was churning through the pipes.

Turn on the new valve.

Heat at last.

The HVAC company kept calling:  Can we come out and see what’s up?

No.

The village called. They are missing an idiot.

He had one job.

Fail!

Reminds me of when something is wrong.

Is it plugged in?

Oh my my, oh hell yes, it’s time to complain about this mess.

My customer review:  You suck as f***.

Xoxoooxox

Wolf

Two lost souls living in a fish bowl

Do you like pina coladas?

Getting caught in the rain?

Are you into adventures?

Or are you really insane?

Sure!

Meet me at my house at 1pm.

I am taking you to lunch at an undisclosed location.

After an hour, on highway 22, something ain’t right.

Where is this joint?

I think we missed the turnoff.

Can I see the directions?

No!

It’s a surprise.

Another half hour.

Turning around, and around and about.

Being a know it all, I had to mention that this is not the first time we have been lost.

Ok.  Here’s the deal:  Look for the Lehigh exit.

Hey!  You idiot.  That’s off of I78, not 22.

The directions must be wrong.

Sure…..

To hell with: Let’s go to the Fogelsville Hotel.

A trip that would have taken 5 minutes, is now an hour and a half in crazy traffic.

Hello, Fogelsville!

Nice try, Bunny!

Who cares if we got lost:  we had a rip roaring time.

Salmon, Caesar salad, small red potatoes, and a few drinks later, it was 420pm.

She says:  Let’s try again, Monday.

Actually, I have a favor to ask you before we go adventuring.

What?

Please, take me out back and shoot me.

Wolf

The appointment

Don’t you love being prepared?

Go to bed early, set an alarm, to be ready for the furnace guy.

Woke up before the alarm.

Too bad it was 1130pm.

What in the world?

I might as well play some computer games, until I get sleepy again.

2am:  Still not tired, playing games.

I better set that alarm again and get back to bed.

A few hours later, I was up.

I swear I will never agree to a morning appointment again.

There was a change of plans.

The morning appointment was now set for around 11am.

Doggone it.

Dunkin:  Here I come!

One bite of a bagel :  Guess who calls?

The furnace guy.

He is a little early.

Yikes!

Better get home.

No heat, of course, while the guy puts in new pipes.

I am back on the computer, bundled up in a winter coat and beanie.

Bunnie called, wants Mexican food for lunch.

I have been craving a chile relleno.

Can’t go.

Furnace guy is ripping and snorting and tearing out the old pipes.

He was so proud of his work, when he finished.

Had to explain it to me.

Yes, very nice. 

Great job Dave.  (He corrected me:  His name is Bill)

I guess he forgot I was half frozen.

Good old Robert Burns would have reminded me: “”The best laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft agley,” 

You know what, Robert? 

It’s not nice to be a know-it-all.

Wolf

The end of time

What is time?

Scientists are saying time doesn’t exist.

It’s an illusion, created by mankind, in an attempt to explain the unexplainable.

Our comprehensions are limited, leaving us with beliefs that are based on faith, history and voodoo.

It’s comforting to many, to believe that life after death is either heaven or hell.

Good vs evil, saints vs devils, ying vs yang, war vs peace.

I don’t know where we go after we die, but I have not yet heard of anyone returning to live on this little planet.

Perhaps the dead don’t really die at all; they join the universe, where the illusionary belief in time does not exist.

We leave earth, to enter a new phase, transitioning into infinity.

I have a compulsion to learn more, and purchased a book.

The title?  “Time is an Illusion.”

My, my, so surprising.

If I get it figured out, you will be hearing from me.

For now, it is “time” to get to bed.

Wolf