Yes, we have no donuts

On my way to Dunkin.

Geez!  Where are all the cars?

Ordered coffee and a donut.

“We have no donuts.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No”

“Ok, so were the cops here or what? Did they eat all of them?         

No response.

“What do you have that is sweet?”

“We have muffins.”

“OK, blueberry, please.”

“We don’t have any blueberry.”

“What do you have?”

“We have one muffin, and it is chocolate chip.”

“I don’t like those, so forgettabout it.”

“So  you want the coffee?”

“No, not without a donut.”

“We are out of donuts.”

“OK, so I will take the chocolate chip muffin.”

“Too late.  It’s gone.”

“So am I.”

True story.

Xoxooxxoo

Wolf

Why I dislike Doctor appointments

Doc appt tomorrow.

Got a message:  Get your blood test before you arrive for your appt.

Oh Oh.

I check the internet.

What time is the lab open?

7am.

OK.

Mentioned to a friend:  I am going to K town for blood work.

Friend:  Did you know they moved the lab?

No.

I check the website.

Nope.  No mention of that.

Called the health network.

They said:  “Really?”
Oh hold, while they check with the Dr’s office.

Yup.

Moved.

Uhm, I believe the web page needs to be updated.

OK, in the meantime, I go to urgent care.

They have the lab open today.

Nurse:  Hmmmm…  I don’t have any order for you to get bloodwork.

She calls the Dr’s office and gets put on hold for 12 minutes.

Meanwhile, I start coughing. 

And can’t stop.

The nurse goes round and round with the Dr. office about the procedure to allow me to get the test.

The coughing gets worse.

Should I get the heck out of here?

Or continue to listen to the red tape, while I cough myself to death?

They finally decide:

She can draw, but she can’t send the blood out until she gets an order.

So she draws, blood , that is.

I hightail it out.

Wouldn’t you know, the coughing stops?

 I am hungry as a bear.

I go to Dunkin and get the wrong order, and cold coffee.

I order a hoagie at the pizza shop. 

Italian sounds good, but I am not a fan of ham, so I ask for one without ham.

I get the hoagie.

It is loaded with ham.

The cook is summoned.

Nope, that is not ham, it is salami.

Now, let’s face it, it is no secret that I was not born yesterday, and after watching forensic files every night, I have gained a few detective skills.

And that so called salami is not salami.

It is ham.

Liar, liar pants on fire.

Going to stay home the rest of the evening.

There is a loose bear around the neighborhood, and with my luck today, he would find me and eat me along with the ham I threw out.

What’s the matter with you girl?

Oh where oh where has the butterfly gone?

Did she morph into a bar fly?

Has anyone seen her?

Friends were contacted.

Their comments:

I don’t know where the hell she is.  She is goofy.  She mentioned something about trying to pass the bar.

No, I haven’t seen her.  I am not happy with her.  I call her, she doesn’t answer her phone.  I text her, she ignores it.  I leave a message on voice mail, or try to.  Forget about that: her voice mail is full.

Wait a minute.  She is pretty darn old.  I think she finally croaked. 

Who?  Or you mean that ridiculously loud, laughing hyena who talks to every stranger at the bar?  She hasn’t been around. I think she may be blackballed for being a pia.

Yeah, I spotted her this morning, flirting with the guys at Sheetz, so I asked her where the hell she has been.  She tried to respond, but was violently coughing.  I think she said something about Covid.

I saw her on Wednesday, in her driveway, wearing a robe and carrying 2 bags of trash for waste mgt.  She looked frightful, fatigued and fat.

She came into the urgent care this past week.  She has a fever, sore throat and is coughing.  I sent her home.  The nerve of her, coming in here sick.

The mystery of the missing village idiot is solved.

I heard her sing, as she walked and coughed, out of sight.

Once, twice, three times infected (Lionel Richie) 

 Still kicking, but damn it, Covid, you better take care, if I find you creeping round my back stair.  (Gordon Lightfoot)

I’m coming to the end of the line. (Traveling Willburys)

Wolf