Monday.
Lolling around.
Sissy: “Let’s do an adventure.”
That was all it took.
From that moment on, it was all holds barred.
Not that we traveled very far.
Oh, yes, we had planned to do something crazy, but…..
We hung out with Pam, Lisa and Dana, and the rest of the regulars who make life interesting.
Who can leave when the atmosphere is ripe for telling hilarious stories?
Happiness is often found right around the corner or in your backyard.
Thanks to all for a wonderful afternoon!!!
Wolf
Random sentences : overheard today:
“I deliberately put a small piece of paper on the kitchen floor, and wait to see how long it takes before someone picks it up.”
“Why are there idiots in this world?”
“Yes, I have an attitude. You would, too, if you were stressed, like I am.”
“They ate all the geese. I think they ate them on the bus.”
“If I am not fired, I will see you next week…. unless I quit.”
“Why do you always leave at 4:20?”
“Hey! How the heck are you?” (how do you know this person?) “I don’t.”
“Who drank my beer?”
A typical Monday…..
Let’s see what tomorrow brings.
Wolf
I refuse to admit that it was a day to be reckoned with.
Ok, I lied.
It was.
The issues were mild for a few hours.
And then?
Blast off!
Think that was bad?
Just wait a few minutes.
It was like seeing the hurricane slowly turning into my life, and hitting landfall, aka Bananawolf, about 430pm.
A magnitude 4.
Ok a 5.
At that point, all I could do is laugh.
It was way too ridiculous to do anything else.
Giggling my way to the print center, the laughter increasing with every step, until….
Hello?
It is 5pm. Do you know where the nearest bar is?
When I walked in, oh no!
Tim!
He was still talking about Saturday afternoon.
A weekend to be remembered.
And tonight?
A gathering of the loyal patrons, acting out, after the last weekend of summer.
Sometimes I wonder: Can anyone have as much fun as a crowd of regulars at a neighborhood bar on a Monday night?
My condolences to those who have never experienced that bonding.
Until tomorrow, when Harvey or Irma or Jose or whoever churns up the Atlantic, to New Jersey, to whip it. Whip it good…..
Wolf
Monday?
Morning?
Come on!
How did that happen?
It was Friday, I blinked my eye…. and here it is : Monday.
Oh oh.
I have to be on my best behavior today.
Visitors at work.
What’s this at my desk?
A birthday present?
Oh boy.
From Scottie!
Yes!
A chicken head.
Not a real chicken, a chicken head to wear on my head.
Of course, I had to wear it around the office for awhile, before the visitors showed up.
I can’t tell you how many people jumped out of their seats when they saw this crazy chicken woman walking around the office.
I am getting scarier by the minute.
Frightening, in fact.
A real whack job.
Thank you Scottie!
I love my chicken head.
Monday.
A great day, after all.
Do what makes you laugh.
Be silly.
Life is too short to be anything other than yourself…
Especially if you are a chicken.
Wolf
As one ages, one gets wilder.
Yes, wilder.
No one really pays that much attention to old people, so we are pretty much left alone to say and do what we want.
And if no one likes it, who cares?
Take tonight, for example:
A crazed woman, on her way home, after working all day, stops for a night cap.
Such a hussy, this brazen old bag, strutting into the neighborhood bar, at 5pm, ordering a double, while wearing a Minnie Mouse Hat.
She puts down several one dollar bills on the bar, announcing that she is paying for her drink with the proceeds from pole dancing.
She carries her drink back to her table, and is immediately engaged in conversation.
The topics defied all logic, hit and miss, and mostly hysterical.
In retrospect, it was the easy give and take of friends who like being together, for an hour or so after a long day.
Not sure what it is about a Monday night that is so tantalizing.
It’s just how it is.
It’s my favorite night of the week.
Such an easy, peaceful feeling….
Home now.
Feeling mellow….
Until tomorrow,
xooxxooxxox
Wolf
Good news, bad news, and then just news.
Made it through a very stormy night.
No trees down.
Roof holding steady.
Power off and on quickly.
Then it was 530am, Monday.
So gloomy.
Flood watch.
Not til later.
Grabbed a blueberry turnover and a cup of hot coffee and off to work I go.
2 hours into the work day, finally had time to grab a bite.
Turnover was gooey and coffee was cold.
Unhappy customers.
Me? Blind sided.
Took a few hours until it was worked out.
Grabbed a load of finished orders.
Yes!
Good news for those waiting for the results.
Time for lunch?
Can’t.
Conference call.
Question: “What are you doing for us? Do you have any innovative solutions? Why should we keep you as our vendor?
Oh my.
So many reasons why.
Did my best to voice my actions.
It was good, but can we have more?
Tried to quell the fires from other accounts.
Guess they have my name and number.
It’s ok.
I love wild.
Or do I?
At the end of the day, I take an hour, to sit back, reflect on the day, and think about what I can do tomorrow.
It is humid.
Storms are coming.
Cats are nervous.
I make chicken sandwiches for dinner.
Can’t sit on the deck tonight.
Too stormy.
Grab my pjs.
Give thanks for another day of life on this planet.
Monday: Good news, bad news and then, just news.
Full moon tomorrow.
Tuesday is bound to be a hoot.
Look in the refrig.
Find a clove of garlic.
Tomorrow?
Gonna look good playing ring around the rosie….. ooops, collar, keeping the wolves from knocking on the chicken coop. Or was that the fox?
I forget.
Until then,
xoxoxxoxoxox
Wolfie
For a Monday, it lived up to its reputation.
315am: Woke up from a nightmare.
I was at Donald Trump’s apartment.
We were drinking beer.
We ran out.
I had to run out and get vodka.
Then his wife walked in.
20 or 30 more people showed up and Donald led them to the basement.
Geez.
I am stuck with Mrs. Donald, and her mother.
We were doing crossword puzzles, the 3 of us, when I woke up.
Should I or shouldn’t I get up and make coffee?
Half Pint appeared at my side.
Oh Wow!
I got up.
At 7am, took off for work.
Geez, it is really cold and windy.
Frost?
What the hell?
It’s Mid May.
Had a busy morning, looking forward to our monthly pot luck.
Oh boy.
The queen lost her crown.
Off to an emergency dental appointment.
When all was said and done, I am on a liquid diet.
Do NOT eat anything anywhere near that crown,
It is hanging in there reluctantly.
Only eat what you can on a fork or a spoon.
Get the fork out.
Multiple dental appointments now on my schedule.
You know, my least favorite place to visit is the dentist, followed closely by the tax place.
So, at this age, isn’t it expected that teeth will wear out, just like everything else?
Shoot.
Now I have to eat oatmeal and apple sauce and jello to protect that damn tooth.
I asked the dentist to take me out back and shoot me, but she said her patients will have their teeth until they are 90.
Geez. I am not sure I want to live until 90.
Until, that is, I stopped to congratulate Kelly on her upcoming wedding, and toasted to her future.
You know what?
This liquid diet is awesome.
Happy Monday: An oxymoron.
I love having my ox gored, while I picked up my crown from the floor at the pot luck.
And yes, turned into a moron.
Monday, Monday,
Every other day, every other day
Every other day of the week is fine, yeah
But whenever Monday comes, but whenever Monday comes
-you can find me cryin´ all of the time
Hehehe.
In my beer.
xoxoxooxoxoxxo
Wolf
Monday: Probably the most disliked day of the week, for those who work.
I took today off.
I felt smug.
Cozy.
Lazy.
Made dagwood BLTs for lunch.
Stayed in my pjs all day.
Dinked around.
Had a few beers.
Sneaked up on the cats with their flea/tick meds. Now they really hate me.
Washed the afghans that my sister knitted for me. Love to curl up in them when they come out of the dryer.
Decorated: Well, I put out a Christmas candle and a santa claus.
I am not into Christmas.
It’s a child hood thing.
But it’s ok.
The weather is quite mild for December.
No snow yet.
That, too, is ok with me.
Today was a quiet day.
No stress.
No deadlines.
I wonder if this is what retirement is like.
But I won’t have much time to think about that.
Tomorrow is Tuesday.
Probably the most disliked day of the week. At least for this week, for me.
Wolf
“Well, Wolf Woman, welcome home. Did you have a wonderful Monday?”
“It was a mixed bag. Some good, some not so good.”
“Tell me.”
“I had the most nightmares in the history of mankind. All night long, I woke up, to the most distressing news. First the football game. The Eagles vs the Giants. Seems the Giants forgot to leave NY. Then the Walking Dead. All that screaming and chomping or whatever those dead things do, invaded my sleep. I woke up eating the @5@5@# out of my pillow. By then, it was 5 am. The alarm rang. I ignored it, thinking it was the door bell. Then I remembered, that door bell hasn’t worked for years. The cat jumped on me. It was Half Pint. When that cat was a kitten, he was a 2 lb ball of fur. Today, he weighs over 20 lbs. and when he jumps on me, I swear a sack of potatoes fell from the roof.”
“Oh for crazy!”
“I raced for the coffee pot and calculated the time I had left before I made the trek into work. 14 minutes. A half cup of coffee, a quick shower and I was off, forgetting my lunch, my coffee and my dignity. It was raining, but at least, it wasn’t snowing. So I put a bid in for a 4 wheel drive vehicle, thinking I should at least plan for the upcoming winter. We haggled, and by the time I was ready to accept the offer, the damn car was sold.”
“Looks like you will be screwed again, when it snows.”
“Shut up, Minnie. Then I started my daily routine. Pat took the day off. Damn! I hate that. I need to tell her to shut up, but she had the nerve to take the day off. I had to relieve my need to be goofy, so I wore my trench coat and kept flashing everyone. I had a slightly queasy feeling, from the debauchery of the weekend, so I tooled off at noon, to get a greasy lunch. A fried chicken sandwich and potato soup. Not a good choice. If that was chicken, I will eat my hat. And the soup? Throw a potato in water and boil the hell out of it, and there you have it.”
“How about the afternoon?”
“Oh, yeah, the afternoon. My darling Donna and Scottie, had to put up with this old chicken butt, trying to train them on their new account. I am probably the worst trainer in the history of the western world, but when it was over, I was impressed. Who says we are indispensable? If I should leave tomorrow, would you still remember me?”
“Cool it, free bird.”
“And then, it was 5pm. The boys are back in town, and drinking Sambuca shots and beer chasers. I told them I had a wonderful day and just seeing those 2 gorgeous boys sitting together, at the bar, half in the bag, made my day. I lied. I was back on my game. They blushed and said, ‘A rose between 2 thorns.’ And I immediately replied, ‘No, a thorn between 2 roses.'”
“You are so full of BS, it ain’t funny.”
“Are you serious? I am the most hilarious person you will ever meet. Just ask me.”
Wolf
Bananawolf's Blog 